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I am five years older than my sister and we never fought. i thought it was the perfect time frame. my son is now 8 (9 in april) and m's daughter is 8 (9 in feb) and his son just turned six. I think if I had a baby now it would be insane yet fun and exciting because it would be OUR baby and would complete our family... But then the other side things are you nuts!! in 9 years the 8s will be graduated from high school... do i really want to start this over again... btw, my son doesn't want me to have a little one. his dad has two other kids and he says mom i already have a brother and a sister, i don't need anything else.. 
My kids are about 2 years apart and I think that is a good age difference. I think 3 years apart is probably ideal. IMO, the further apart they are, the less they have in common (i.e. a 5 y.o. and a 10 y.o. won't EVER want to do the same things). This is such a personal decision though, whatever you decide it will be right for your family.
I just googled sibling spacing and it's complicated. It depends on your child's temperment, the parent's temperment and everything else. Whoa! Maybe I shouldn't look into this stuff until I am closer to becoming pregnant. Wow!
My brother and I are 15 months apart, and I hated it growing up. I was a nanny for kids that were 4 years apart, and they were so sweet to each other (and just really sweet in general). And yeah, they're in completely different phases, but I think that will be better down the line. Who wants to pay for two kids in college at the same time?
Coming from someone that is 7 years older then my sibling, i would NOT suggest it. We have never been able to have a close relationship, by the time he was born i was 7 so i was out playing til dark and he was a baby. Then by the time i was moving out of the house he was only a 6th grader. Now he is a freshmen in high school and we really struggle to even have anything to talk about, which is really sad. I've tried hard to form that relationship but it just hasn't happened yet . . .
Oh, and about fighting we never fought growing up and still have not. But i would rather have that silly sibling fighting then what i have now.
My brother is about five years younger than me and we almost never fought. He was old enough to play with and I was old enough to take care of him. We didn't have a competitive problem because I was obviously older so therefore obviously taller, faster, etc.
One sister is 18 months younger and the other is 5 years younger. Surprisingly, I've always had more in common with my youngest sister and my middle sister and I fought more growing up. I don't think there's really any magical time frame. Things will happen the way they happen - there are too many factors at play. I'm much more likely to base the decision on diapers, etc. I really don't think I want two in diapers at the same time!
I'm having a hard time deciding between 5 and 2ish years. My sister and I are 5 years apart but my brother and my sister are 18 months apart- My sister and I get along rather well but my brother and sister do not- but I think that might be because of my sisters strong personality.
My sister and I are 4 years apart. We had some rivalry in the teen years, but now we are very close!
it really depends...me and my sister are 4 years apart and it's always been great for us, and hubby and his sister are 7 years apart (we're both the older of two) and we have great relationships, but it depends on the actual kids...
It's a matter of temperament and how you raise your kids WAY more than age spacing. My brother and I are only 20 months apart, but we never fought. We're not close either though - as a kid, he just wanted to be left alone and play by himself (he's still not very social). That's just how he is/was.
I have cousins (4 girls) who have an overall range of 14 years between them, and they all get along great, I think largely because their mom instilled a really strong value for family in them, so even though they all have big personalities, they have each others' backs and respect each other unconditionally.
On the other hand, I know plenty of people who grew up a few years apart and fought like cats and dogs, and plenty who were years apart and still fought.
My mom is 10 years older than her youngest sister, and she resents her to this day, because all through high school she could never go out with her friends - every weekend she had to stay in to watch the baby. My dad is 10 years older than his youngest sister, and he loves her dearly and is super protective of her. She's almost more like my sister than my aunt :) in some ways.
My brother and I were 18 months apart. My mom said she wanted us as close in age as possible so that when we got older (past our teens anyways) we would be close (like her family was). It worked out, really--we got closer as we got older. I think we'll be having our first in the next 2 years and there will be about a 2.5 year break between the next one while I finish PA school (hopefully, lol). If we have a third we'll probably crank that one out asap cuz i'll be in my later 20's by then. I don't want them too far apart
My sister and I are 7 years apart and are not close at all, and never have been. I was a kid when she was a teenager, and she was gone when I was one... I have no idea if we would have been closer had we been closer in age, or if it was just because.
Me and my sisters are each 4-5 years apart...Im 20 and my youngest sister is 7...im the oldest of 4. If you're going to have more than 2 kids I wouldn't recommend spacing them out so much. We fight constantly and will probably never be close.,.we are just at different stages in our lives. But my mom and her sister and my dad and his sister are both 8 years apart and they get along great but theres only 2 of them.
oh and also? I always had to watch my younger siblings and resented my parents for FOREVER over that...i never had a normal social life because i was always watching my siblings..so that's a word of caution about letting them watch each other.
FI and I are only children and liked it, so we only plan to have one. solves that problem. :P
My sister and I are 4 years apart and have never fought. We were never super close though, but we are getting much closer as we get older. I think one thing that helped us though was that my parents never made me watch her while we were growing up, otherwise we might not have gotten along at all.
My sister and I are 2 years apart, and we generally got along well for the most part as children - but we fought like cats and dogs during our teen years. But I think that was just a combination of being teens and my sister being a bit of a troublemaker. And now we are not close at all - but that is another story.
My FI is 4 years older than his brother though, and he often comments that it made them fight A LOT when they were growing up, becuase they were not going through the same stages at the same time. They get along fine now though.
When I have children, I think I would like to have them 2 years apart, similar to my sister and myself.
My two sisters are 18 months apart. I watched them fight their whole lives. Part of the trouble was not the 18 months so much that they were in consecutive grades in school. They were constantly getting compared to one another and paired together. I think if there had been at least one school grade in between them things would have been a lot more harmonious in our house growing up.
Meanwhile I am 2.5 years older than one and 4 years older than the other. I was three and four years ahead of them in school, respectively. I liked that I had that buffer of "breathing room" to help me feel independent.
That said, I was friends with a brother and sister who were only 10 months apart and were in the same grade as each other. Boy did they have a weird relationship---they were practically like twins, but not.
I can't imagine having two kids in diapers on purpose. I would like to go for 3-5 years.
personally, whatever happens - happens. I wouldn't want 5-7 years.... But 2-3 maybe. To me 5-7 years puts them on completely different playing fields... where as at 2-3 there close enough while different.
And, at 5 years, FI would be at LEAST 40.... I don't want my husband to be reaching 65 trying to put kid 2 through college. Then again, we want at least 3 lol
I think it depends on parenting style, personalities/temperament of parents/financial situation etc. My siblings and I are 27, 30, 34 (that's me), 35, 36, 40, and 44. I am closer to my younger siblings b/c I used to have to look out for them.
MY FI's and my kids are 24, 19, and 12. We plan on having any joint kids a year apart...two years at the latest. However, if his family wasn't in the area and primed for grandkids and more than willing to help out with them once they are here....it would be totally different
I think it really depends on the family....my sister and I are 9 1/2 years apart and we couldn't possibly be closer - she's my absolute best friend. But I know people who are a lot closer in age than we are who can't seem to get along with their siblings 'cause they have nothing in common!!
I think I'd like to have them between 3 and 5 years apart. I wouldn't want to go any more than 5, just because I know that my sister and I being so close isn't really common for how far apart we are in age!
In my family we are 41, 38, 30 (me) The middle sister and I actually get along the best, and I get along better of the 2 of us with our oldest. A lot of that is just temperments, though, as the oldest was mean to us as a dominating older sibling, and the 2 of them weren't close even before I came along. I think "38-year old" saw that as her chance to have a buddy to mold to liking the same music as her, etc. lol, and it mostly worked!
My sister and I are 2 years apart, and sure, we fight a lot (as any siblings do) but it was great when we were kids and could play together when we got new toys or went to a family friend's house or something. I wouldn't want my kids to be much more than 3 years apart and I think FH would feel the same. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to be an old dad and wants kids by the time he's 45 which only gives us under 6 years!
My brother and I are 2 years apart and we played and we fought as kids - but kids fight when they play even friends do!
As we got older we just got closer and closer and now we have a wonderful relationship!
I know twins that hated each other and people spaced far apart that hated the significant younger sibling and then I know twins that love each other and largely spaced siblings that get a long really well and so it is a really complicated topic - I say with what works best for you as a couple!
My sisters and I are 4 and 6 years apart and I hated it growing up. I was always the odd man out, so to speak. My sisters always hung out and they are super close but not me. It's gotten easier with time and now I can hang out with them and I have experienced a lot of stuff that I can share with them and give them advice on. There was just too much time between us, we're always at different stages in life. (I.E. I was finishing high school when my sister was starting, I was finishing college when my sister was starting, etc.) I told my FI that I would ideally have 3 years between each kids so hopefullly they are all closer than I was with my sisters.
My sister and I are 21 months apart and I think about 2 years is ideal. We definitely fought growing up, but we were also very close. We're still close, and occasionally we still fight, but we loved that we got to go to high school and college together and we have such a special bond after going through milestones together. We're currently both engaged as well!
I have two brothers, both older. One is four years older than I am and we never got along when we were growing up -- he drove me absolutely crazy. The other is seven years older than I am and we've always been extremely close.
I think it really varies from family to family. Any siblings will probably go through a period when they don't get along so well, regardless of how far apart they are in age.
As everyone else mentioned, it depends on the family/the kids/their environment, etc. I am 14 months older than my sis and we fought constantly. Our problem was that we shared a room for 17 years and I hated it. She was messy, I was clean. I followed the rules, she was a rebel so it was our personality that conflicted.
On the other hand, my hubs and his brother are also 14 months apart but they were best of friends and still are. So many factors go into how children will react with each other. I know we don't want kids too far apart as they won't have much in common but that's my opinion.
I thought I'd chime in... My kids are 12 months and 2 weeks apart... no it wasn't planned that way, but I love the way it has turned out.
Yup! I had a 3 month old and got the little blues lines... again! OOPS. Insane, I know. My daughter is now 8 and my son is now 9. They are in consecutive grades in school and are very, very close. Twins the hard way, as I have been told. They gravitate to each other in crowds of children, had their own little language, and are very protective of each other.
As toddlers, I potty trained them at the same time (he was 3, she was 2) and it has really worked out well. I would have never thought of having them close together, but I really do love it. The 2 years that they were both in diapers were certainly the hardest, most taxing times, but then it was overwith... and we all made it.
I love that they are able to do things around the same times - big kid bikes, outings, etc. It makes it easier to make purchases and decisions, knowing they are basically on the same level. I love the cuddles they shared and their companionship growing and developing over the years. I loved that my son was almost too little to be jealous and act out when my daughter was born.
Whatever time between children you choose, I completely agree with the above posters who have said that parenting style, environment, and lots of other factors play a big part. :)
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I know I'm not planning on having kids for at least 2 years but DH and I have had the discussion about how many years apart should our kids be. I think it would be a great discussion.
He first said 7 years because they won't fight as much. After speaking to some people who have kids and from my own experiences. Siblings are going to fight if they are 2 years apart or 8 years apart. I'm glad we decided not to do 7 years apart because I will be 36 when we have our second one.
What are the pros and cons to having kids 2 years apart? 5 yr? 7 yrs? etc.
I know we will have to be a 2 income family so I can't stop work to be an at home mom.
I heard people say that when you have kids 2 years apart-- you have one child who is out of diapers and then you have to start all over with the diapers stage.
For people who say, to have them close- they say so you don't have buy everything all over again.
I'm thinking that if they are 5 years apart, that one could be somewhat old enough to watch the younger one.
Wow, I didn't realize there was a term for this topic... it's called "Sibling Spacing"