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as someone that didnt live with my hubby before we married - this info would have been helpful!
anyone else spotting their spouse/FI in this???
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups, leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy in mirror again Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again..
Throw wet towel on bed
lol sounds about right. i remember the first time my bf and i showered together he was like.. ohhh... thats why it takes you so long. Was also amazed i keep face wash in the shower, what a novel idea! heh.
HAHA! I love this. Some of this is SO true, and some of it is funny to think about. I live with my FH so I am used to it. I have been here a year though and I am STILL to this day trying to get him to put his laundry in the right baskets!! Is it really that hard..
White basket is for whites, red is for colors, blue is for jeans, and then there is one(forgot the color) for towels! Not too complex!
the woman part is a little ridiculous, but the male part is pretty dang funny.
Everything on man side sounds accurate except for the towel-around-waist part, he just gets out of the shower and dances naked around the house until (much thrusting of pelvis, arms thrown up, flailing around) he has my attention :P
That is so funny!! WHY do guys blow their nose in the shower?? Seriously.
... my boyfriend showers more like a woman and I shower more like a man! Honestly, I HATE being wet. That includes showers, so I'll get in, wash my hair, lather up, shave and get out. He'll take 30 minutes just to wash his HAIR!
@eloping: this had me at 'woo woo' too. I literally almost fell off my chair I was laughing so hard.
My FI takes a bath & reads, followed by a shower. lol I hate baths... I remember the first time I "caught" him taking a bath. The look on his face was priceless!
I used to date a guy that would do the "woo hoo" at me. Not hot. Dh likes to dance like a male dancer in his undies on his way to the bathroom for me. Cracks me up every time =]
Shoot, what woman showers like that?!?!? haha, fancy women must =]
He's totally weirded out that i blow my nose in the shower, too. I have a rainforest waterfall faucet and it always ends up in my nose! =]
Or i'm just really gross. Whatever.
lol that is so incredibly accurate! i just read it to FI, he agrees... haha. thanks for the laughs!
The wet towel on the bed - I just don't get it! And it drives me crazy!
lol, I have seen that before. Funnily enough, my husband and I have been showering together since soon after we started dating, almost four years ago now! We don't separate our laundry, way cheaper to just do it all on delicate (unless towels or sheets, that goes on a hot wash).
Showering together is one of our ways to get some quality time and talk about things, its so relaxing ^__^
Oh goodness, this is too funny. About 5 minutes after I read this, FI and I took a shower together. While we were in there, he BLEW HIS NOSE INTO HIS HAND! I started laughing so hard, I almost fell over.
heh, lots of it is true. I dont wash my hair twice, but I have the apricot scrub :p
Hubby read it and agreed on most as well lol Though, luckily he does NOT pee in the shower. He also doesn't do the naked thing primarly because we live with his parents (tradition thing), but he does walk out in his undies. I'd be mortified to walk around in my undies in front of family lol
Though, i'll admit to the blowing my nose thing... usually i get water or facesoap in my nose so it just happens lol. It's not like i can grab tissue with wet hands! the soap is right there to make me all clean again lol. Its a life saver when you have a terrible cold and your nose is all red and sore :(
lol @ joeswifey - i have the apricot scrub too, but if i scrubbed for 10 min, i'd scrub off my face.
sometimes my hubby undresses in the laundry, which is on the opposite side of the house and then runs thru the house on his way to the bathroom.... if im sitting in the living room he runs back into the room because he feels i need a second look or something.. or an extra woo woo i guess :)
men are so silly
this was great thanks for the laughs!!!! my fi totally blows his nose in the shower and i always yell GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS so he can hear me hahaha
this is probably the best thing ever! wow, please lord dont let my husband to be do the woo woo! i will probably shoot him with a nerf gun if he does that. much like that fact that i get free shots at him if he were to ever leave the toilet seat up!
Hilarious! They left out the part where he leaves shag carpet of body hair on bathroom floor for me to dustbust later.
Guilty confession: I'm the one that pees in the shower! He gets so mad, but I just don't see what the big deal is!! Maybe its because he is the one who cleans the tub haha.
@mskalinin, I do that too, don't feel too bad. BUT, I only do it when it's just me. And it's *my* shower, and it's a standup....and I do clean it myself. I dunno, i figure water is water, and soap is disinfecting.
Whatever, you can all judge me. =P
HAAAAHAHAHHAHAHA This has me faling out of my chair laughing at the first WOO WOO!
Hilarious!
Why do they not notice the water they are dripping on the floor? Or the mess they make of the bathroom mirror?
There is actually a video on YouTube that tells this story!!! I would post the link, but I can't get on YouTube at work =( but if you just go on there and search for it, it is HILARIOUS. And it's also PG - nothing is shown, even during the "woo woo" HAHAHA It is most def. worth watching!!
Lol perfect, except for missing him flexing in the mirror!! Or is that just my FI?
*flex* "Bam! Bam! Look at these!" *flex flex*
OK - here's the link to the YouTube video. You've gotta watch this!!! It's like the list, but 1000 times funnier! hehe 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBZu98cVtuM
this is hilarious and to defend my FI no he does not do that he walks close to the laudry room then walks to bathroom in his pj pants and locks the door so he can relax and shower lol. Me now im the flaunting slob
Wow that is one complex shower... mine is like only 3 steps.
HAHAHA, no matter how many times I read that I still laugh soooo hard!
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