- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
I’m not entirely sure how to word this post, and I apologize if I inadvertently present myself as rude.
Since becoming engaged, I’ve frequently been asked how much my ring cost. Normally a taboo question, but people seem to love asking. I don’t get offended by it personally, but I do feel awkward. My best friend of 15 years knows, and my family and FI’s family know.
Here’s the “issue:” it is an expensive ring.
Fiance shelled out a ton of money on it. To be honest, I was upset. Fiance is very financially stable, and 3 months salary on it was just ridiculous. I would have been happy with a CZ or a moissanite, because they’re just as beautiful as diamonds. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate my ring- I really do. But I conversely think that it’s ridiculous, and that I would have been happier with a moissanite. Hell, the ring I originally chose WAS moissanite. Investing this money into our condo would have been a more appropriate alternative to me. Don’t worry- I’m very open with Fiance about this. He usually just chuckles and tells me to appreciate it.
I want to explain that I do NOT judge people with diamonds. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I just didn’t need a diamond ring to validate our committment.
People (acquaintances, colleagues, sometimes strangers) have been asking how much money was spent on my ring. It’s awkward. Again, it doesn’t offend me- but it’s awkward. I’m just not sure how to answer.
I’m not bold enough to say:
“I don’t feel comfortable answering that.”
I wish I was! I’m just a pussy. I’m not great at holding my ground, unless I’m angry.
I don’t want to answer, or give a number, because I feel like a materialist. I’m proud of my ring, obviously- but I don’t want to ostentatiously boast its monetary value. I just don’t want to feel like I’m bragging. And conversely- I don’t want to potentially offend someone with the cost. I would be the same way if he had spent $5 on the ring (just as happy, but just as tentative to share the cost). It’s a ring- who cares how much it is! I’m ecstatic that I’m engaged, but I don’t want to tell people the cost!
Ultimately, what I’m trying and failing at conveying is the following: You never know if someone is having personal finance issues. Five dollars could be a lot of money for them, in the same way that five thousand (+) could be. I just don’t want to offend anybody.
I’ve been lying, recently:
“Umm, I’m not sure to be honest…I never asked my fiance.”
HOW do I grow a pair and answer this question properly?
Please give me some tough love or something.
Also, please tell me if I sounded like an ingrateful bitch. The last thing I want is to offend someone.