Post # 1
I am getting married in October to an absolutely amazing man and am so excited about “the perfect wedding” except 6-months out I am already having extensive anxiety about making it through the ceremony without fainting or even worse… throwing up!
My worry doesn’t come from second thoughts, possibilities that something might not go perfectly, or that I might say something wrong… athough I want the perfect wedding I could care less about any of those… to my best decerning ability… what I am really nervous about is BEING NERVOUS! I hate standing in front of people and being the center of attention and I am terrified that on my wedding day that fear is going to be overwhelming and I will either keel over and faint or throw up while I’m standing in front of everyone.
I am aware this fear sounds crazy, but I can’t break it. And the more I worry about it the worse my fear gets. Everyone tells me that “i’ll be fine” or “once I make it down the isle all the nervousness will go away” but I’m having trouble believing it because in past experiences when I am in front of a crowd that fear and anxiety doesn’t go away.
I have looked into possible anxiety medications… but am worried about them making me loopy or not concious enough to enjoy the big day. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to calm my nerves?
Post # 3
Consider the anxiety medications again. And just try them before your wedding so you know the right dosage that lessens the anxiety but doesn’t affect your lucidity. I have a low dosage I use to fly. I don’t feel any different at all when I take one except for feeling less anxious. Some other things I do to help my anxiety are concentrating on controlling my breathing and focusing on specific things. So when you are up there really focus on listening and processing every word the officient says. The effort taken to really concentrate will help to distract you from all the people watching. Try and just keep your eyes on your fiance only. I held my husbands hands throughout our entire ceremony and we kind of whispered to each other and made little jokes from time to time which was calming as well. How big is your guest list? Are you able to have a small amount of people at the ceremony?
Post # 4
Anxiety is different for lots of people. I hate standing up in front of people but I know that I’m able to do it, for example. So that doesn’t cause me a lot of anxiety but it sounds like it’d be very difficult for you. I think the first thing you need to do is figure out just how nervous you are being about it. And don’t be too hard on yourself. If you say the wrong thing on the actual day is it really going to ruin the whole day? If you really think that you’re going to faint or throw up because you’re so nervous maybe consider going to your doctor and explaining your anxiety and seeing if they have any recommendations. I’m hesitant to say go ahead and take some medication without seeking professional opinion first because you might just be blowing the whole thing out of proportion in your mind and on the day you could actually be just fine without needing any meds.
Post # 5
Do you have problems with anxiety in other areas of your life, or is it just associated with the wedding (i.e. this is the first time this level of anxiety had happened for you)?
There is a lot of pressure to have that “perfect wedding”. Are you having a large ceremony with a lots of guests, or something more intimate? Would it be possible to pare the guest list down if that would help decrease some of your anxiety? Medications are also quite effective, as stated by a previous poster – especially if this is an issue that plagues other parts of your life as well. I would speak to your physician. He/She may also refer you to a counsellor if it is merited, which could be a big help as well.
Post # 6
We are looking at between 60-70 guests… not the smallest of weddings, but not the biggest either. I considered making it a REALLY small wedding… but as wonderful as my fiance is being about this I can’t bring myself to make him not invite family and friends he wants because my nerves get the best of me… it’s his wedding too! 🙂
As far as the anxiety… I don’t really have it on a daily basis (except for worrying about my reaction to the ceremony). It’s not something that has had a negative effect on my daily life in the past… But I know how nervous I get when the attention is all on me. I just want to be able to enjoy my wedding to the fullest… I want to be looking into his eyes and thinking about how amazing our life will be… not repeating “don’t throw up, don’t faint” over and over again in my head.
Thanks for the advice… keep it coming! 🙂
Did any of you use anxiety meds on your wedding day or do you plan on it? Pros/Cons?
Post # 8
I took Paxil for a few years when I had anxiety issues that I couldn’t overcome. I knew that what got me anxious was not that big of a deal, but it was beyond the point of rationale, and I needed something to kick my chemical balance back into place. Paxil is a pretty low impact medication, and it takes about 4-6 weeks to be effective in your system. You have some time before the wedding, I would suggest talking to a doctor and trying something out, and seeing how you feel. Kind of like a trial run to see what works now, because if it makes you less anxious BEFORE the wedding, it probably will help DURING the wedding.
And if it makes you feel any better, I HATE being the center of attention and having people stare at me, too. We’re having about 300-350 guests, and that is my biggest concern right now!