Post # 1
So my fiance is a total momma’s boy. His father passed away when he was young, so it’s just her. It’s admirable how much he cares for her and how well he takes care of her. It’s one of the qualities that made me fall in love with him, but it can also be extremely frustrating and cause for the eyes to roll.
For example, he will be walking her down the aisle right before me since he feels she’s just as important in his life. So it will be the bridal party, then fiance and mom, ring bearer and flower girl, then me. He’s also expecting me to include her in the day of preparation with all my bridesmaids including the Hair & Makeup. I’ve booked 2 makeup consultants for my 6 bridesmaids and of course it’s going to be all day ordeal. I’m paying for my entire bridal party so it’s going to be a pretty penny and he’s expecting that I also cover his mom. Even my own mom does not expect this of me.
Just wondering if this is ‘normal’ and how much you are involving your FMIL/FSIL, etc. Thanks!
Post # 3
My FMIL is very hands-on in the wedding. She has been my go to girl for allmy planning, but we have a very close relationship. She is getting ready with all us girls the morning of, she’s attending my hair trials, dress fittings, etc. etc.
Post # 4
@Burtongirl: FI is very close with his mom and so am I. She will be with me the entire morning and we will be having our hair and makeup done together. she’s been very involved in the wedding planning and we are becoming good friends. I want her to enjoy the day with me!
Post # 5
I think having her walk him down the isle is awesome. You just gave me an idea, so I can have my MIL more involved.
Post # 6
Honestly, DH and I are type-A control freaks so we maintained 100% control over our whole wedding. We didn’t really involve anyone else besides the vendors. We did outsource one or two small DIY projects to a very good, trusted friend of ours but overall, it was all us and the vendors.
While DH is close to his family and values their input, he also recognizes their faults and it was simply easier and less dramatic to not involve them as much as they may have liked.
Post # 7
I’m involving FMIL as much as humanly possible on the day of (and the days before)! She’s just the sweetest, kindest woman. Plus, FI is an only child, as am I, so this is her one shot at a wedding. My own mother adores her as well, so there won’t be any tension between them. I look forward to it!
Post # 8
I have a good relationship with my FMIL, but I would have a tough time with my FI expecting/strongly suggesting that she be that involved in the day – though I think the idea of her walking him down the aisle is nice if he would like that (and it doesn’t really affect you).
As far as wedding planning goes, we’re similar to @lilbluebird – we’re not involving them or delegating to them beyond talking about things. Given, none of his family live in our city so it’s easier for us to just take care of things. I’m going dress shopping with her though, as she would like to be more involved.
Post # 9
Oh let me clarify. Fiance’s dad passed away when he was young so it’s just his mom. I love that he’s walking down with her, in fact that was my idea. I don’t love that it’s just seconds before me. 🙂
Post # 10
Interesting. Typically the MOG is a “guest” and is seated with her husband directly before YOUR mom, but whatever works for you guys!
I didn’t see my MIL at all the day of the wedding. She’s not really a girly girl so she didn’t need any hair/makeup done (she pretty much has a buzz cut and doesn’t wear makeup) and she preferred to hang out with DH and her out of town family the morning of the wedding. If she’d wanted to join the girls I guess she would have been more than welcome but it honestly didn’t even occur to me that she might.
Post # 11
Mine came with for the hair and makeup, and it was okay. I would have felt a little rude telling her she couldn’t get ready with the rest of the girls, although I did ask if she would like to spend some time with DH before the ceremony – which she declined.
And technically speaking I believe your mother should be the last seated. 😛
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
SIL was one of my BMs and MIL doesn’t go anywhere without her (anxiety and other issues) so they both came to my hotel room and got ready with me and the rest of the females in my family. I am the only one who had pro/hair and makeup.
Post # 13
She would be invited to the RD and wedding, that’s about it. Maybe take a few extra pics with her in it, definitely would not have her walk down the aisle or get hair/makeup done with me.
In fact, I will go out of my way to keep as much planning as possible from her, so she doesn’t end up being critical within earshot!
Post # 14
@Burtongirl: I see your point! At a lot of the weddings I’ve been to, the groom and groomsmen have either started up at the front or walked down first (before BM, flower girl, and ring bearer). Could you suggest that it goes – groomsmen (+ bridesmaids?), groom + mom, bridesmaids?, flowergirl + ring bearer, then you? I have to say that I’ve never seen the groom come in after the bridesmaids.
Post # 15
@medbride: Yes! Weird right? That the groom comes in after the bridesmaids? The lineup you suggested is exactly what I think would be ideal so that’s what I’m trying to change it to. 🙂
Post # 16
@Burtongirl: I think it is very sweet that your FI is walking his mom down the aisle.
My FMIL is very involved in the wedding, and will be on the day as well. We are very close. I am glad to see that there are other brides on here that are close with their FMIL’s too. I hate hearing about horrible in laws!