Post # 1
Please help even if you are against pre-nups or not drafting a pre-nup!!
I’ve been looking into this whole pre-nup thing for a while, and I just wanted to make sure that I shouldn’t bother with it if my assets/savings are considered too ‘small’ or ‘insignificant’ enough to warrant one.
Picture yourself in the following situation (otherwise, if you are drafting up a pre-nup, just vote on the poll as your real self):
Your partner: Let’s imagine that your partner has nothing – no savings, no inheritance. Has a job earning the average rate, and a student loan debt of about $15-20k
You: You earn 3 times the salary as your partner, and although you don’t have inheritance or trust funds, you have a decent amount of cash savings. No debt.
How much minimum $ worth of savings would make you consider a pre-nup for your partner to sign?
Post # 3
Yikes! I suspect that this will not be a popular post. Prenups in general speak to much of pessimism in a time which should be romantic. They also practically guarantee a huge row with your other half, who will accuse you of not trusting them. Finally, it will also be a reminder to the poorer half that they earn less.
That said, with so many marriages ending in divorce nowadays, I can imagine that friends and family would encourage you to protect your assets. So, with that in mind, what would I have to have which would encourage me to run the emotional gauntlet in order to protect it?
Now, if I earned three times the average wage (I wish), I wouldn’t be terribly fussy because I would reason that I could always make more money to cover any financial losses resulting from divorce, so I should just hope for the best. In that case, I would say that savings of around five times my pre-tax yearly salary, depending on the security of my job, would make friends and family encourage me to reach for the prenup papers. As I don’t know how much that is, I did not vote on your poll.
Post # 4
@Rachel631: Depending on the state, if she’s making enough to be the bread-winner, he could turn around a sue for alimony and she would have to pay a certain amount of money to him until he remarries. I think a pre-nup could prevent that. I know if I had been forced to pay my ex money forever, I would have been distraught; not just on a financial level, but to still be tied to him in some way.
I don’t like prenups, but I’m new-old-fashioned like that. I won’t vote in the poll for that reason because I’d skew the results with the highest option and that’s no good. If you feel that a prenup will make you feel more comfortable, and your FI is okay with it, does it matter how much your savings are or what your salary is? as long as you have something worth protecting and a pre-nup will make you feel better, that’s all you need to know, I think. But maybe I’m way off.
Post # 5
i have no problem with prenups but then again i married a man who to be honest should have asked for one and if i had his assets i would have demanded one
i guess if the couple is younger and neither have assets its not something on their radar but its not just assets to consider, pension plans are something that you need to consider to protect long term if you have already invested a number of years into them
btw, i thought (correct me if im wrong) inheritance was protected in divorce proceedings in the US
Post # 6
Since he has debt and you have savings and you are making significantly more money than him presumably for the foreseeable future, I would really seriously consider a pre-nup. I know it is not a fun thing to think about but you seem to have a significant difference in financial situation that it is justified to protect your assets. I would try bringing up the topic in a nonconfrontational way and focus on protecting yourself from his debt. If your partner is not against the pre-nup than you should talk to a lawyer to see if it would protect you appropriately.
Post # 7
Also, depending on your state, if you keep your premarital assets in a separate account, they don’t count as marital assets. In a divorce proceeding, the court looks at how to divide your marital assets, and in lieu of a prenup, typically marital assets are split but premarital assets are returned to the rightful owner. So long as you keep only your name on that savings account and don’t add to it, you could be sufficiently protected. Adding his name to the account or adding new marital funds could be construed as incorporating that savings into your marital assets.
Post # 8
I’m not against pre-nups. I think it’s good to set expectations of all sorts going into marriage. It’s a part of the communication process and encourages openness between the couple. in my state, anything you and your spouse earn during marriage is considered marital assets, and pre-nups can’t really help you do much other than split it up fairly upon divorce. The one thing the lawyer said we could do is limit the amount of time the person earning less would get alimony. Thus I didn’t even follow-through with the pre-nup in the end.
Post # 9
I know this is not the popular opinion on these boards, but i think you may want to consider one. FI had significantly more savings than I did until he put them into a down payment for our home and so we will have a prenup saying that he gets his downpayment back in addition to his half of the value of our home in the event of divorce. Although none of want to get divorced, fact is that not all marriages last. Divorces are more amicable usually when there is a prenup. I think if FI and I ever got to the point that we were hurting each other so badly as to want a divorce I wouldn’t want to prolong it with a court battle!
Post # 10
Do you have any other assets? How long will it take you to save up that much again? He’d be entitled to half of anything you make after you get married, anyway. But as long as you have a bank statement from now you could still argue that what you have now is yours.
Post # 11
No idea. I kinda thought this was only something peope in Hollywood did. I personaly would not do it because your preparing for a break up even before a marriage starts. Plus, it’s a partnership, I would not want to keep tabs on who does what or who has what. If hes just out of school circumstances might change a lot as well, you could lose your job in ten years and he could have a great one, you know?
Post # 12
@BigDay2012: I would ask for a prenup. Also, I would keep my savings as an individual account. If you ever add his name to that account he is entitled to half.
Post # 13
yes! A prenup is a good idea.
I am sure, that once the you marry, his loans will be hers. I am sure that they could quickly pay off the student loans. However, if there is a divorce, she will have to pay spousal support. I am not sure but it could be for a couple years.
p.s I am in canada, so it might not be accurate for your state. But definately speak to a lawyer.
Post # 14
I make about 3 times more than my FI and in addition have a business that collects royalties and produces a substantial amount of income.
We are in the process of getting a prenup, not because we don’t intend to stay together but because we cant control each others actions down the road. I had my business before I met FI and we are on the same page in the sense that what is mine is essentially mine but while we are together we will both benefit. If we are to split he is not entitled to half just because we got married.
I am pro prenup and he is also even when on the other side. Going through this process has spurred lots of discussions that are better put on the table now then later. By doing this when we are completely content with each other we are making sure that should a time come when we would go separate ways. The decisions surrounding it were made with cooler and clearer heads.
eta: we totally combine our personal finances and they will be split 50/50 along with our personal assets if we divorce. The business and income from the business is kept separate, he has access to this money right now but should we separate he wont get alimony or a percentage of it.
Post # 15
In your situation, I don’t think you need a prenup. A decent amount in savings, and him having student loan debt, isn’t something that warrants one IMO. I have no problems with prenups and will actually be signing one myself. FI’s family has several family owned businesses as well significant assets. It’s not been any problem for us at all. I knew from the early stages of our relationship that if we were to marry, a prenup would be involved.
Post # 16
Anything that you accumulated BEFORE the marriage should still be yours post divorce. So if you have a chunk saved, I do believe that is yours.