Post # 1
One of my co-workers is getting married on Sunday and she has both a wishing well and a registry. She has invited both SO and I which is really lovely of her since she doesn’t really know him that well. The reception is probably costing around $120 per head. We’re in Australia so everything is expensive here!
A bunch of the people from work want to put in for a big ticket item on her registry which would mean we would need to put in $100 per person. I don’t expect SO to put anything towards the gift because he doesn’t know the couple at all. So that would mean I would be putting in $200 on my own, which is a bit of a struggle this month.
Now, I don’t mean to come across as a tight ass lol, but I usually put in $200 for a wedding gift or for a wishing well for my really close friends. While my co-worker and I are good friends at work, I wouldn’t say we are especially close. I did attend her hens night a couple of weeks ago which was $135 but we don’t really hang outside of work that much.
Would you put in $200 for a gift for a co-worker? If not, how much cash do you think would be appropriate on behalf of SO and I?
Thanks for your advice!
Post # 2
Yeesh, that’s a lot of cash! In your sitch I would decline the group gift and just give a gift or a check for $100 in a card.
Post # 3
$200 is a lot for a gift for a co-worker, but since your SO is attending the gift would be viewed as from both of you, rather than just yourself.
Could you ask him to put a small amount towards the gift, say $50 and then cover the remainder yourself? He doesn’t know the couple, however they have extended the invitation to him and therefore he should offer some small gift to reciprocate their hospitality?
Post # 4
I agree that just because your SO doesn’t know them, if he has agreed to come then he should contribute some to the gift. I think $200 between the two of you is right on the mark.
Oh, and I’m Australian if that helps since I understand our economy 😛
Post # 5
nessdawwg: MsPups: I’m Australian too, YAY!
I think you have to consider that they’ve been kind enough to extend the invitation to your SO, despite not knowing him. We’ve invited a few partners that we don’t know at all, and even one that I’ve never met. I’d be a little miffed if after inviting them to join in one of the most special days of our lives, plus paying for them to enjoy a full three course meal and free-flow drinks they decided not to contribute at all just because they didn’t know us very well!
Post # 6
I would do 150, a nice compromise.
Post # 7
MsPups: I think you should spend what you usually would on the gift, and consider it from both you and your SO. She was kind enough to include him as well, so I think the gift needs to reflect that. Also, I don’t think you can consider the fact that you aren’t particularly close to lessen the gift – she thought you were close enough to invite! If you didn’t feel close enough, then you could decline the invitation. And the same for the hen’s night – you could have declined and it shouldnt be a reason to deduct from the gift.
I think $100 is a bit “cheap” (sorry!) for a couple, and would think $150 seems fair… but if you’re up to that, maybe just go in on the gift from all co-workers! Could be something the couple could really use and would be grateful for!
Post # 8
MsPups: Youngive what you can afford and want to give. The cost of the reception is completely irrelevant to what you spend on a gift.
Post # 9
I agree with skipping the group gift and giving $150 – $200 from you and your SO. You could ask SO to contribute as a favor to you and just let him know things are tight, but I wouldn’t expect or demand it. The way my SO and I do wedding gifts is he buys for his friends (gift, hotels, etc.) and I do it for mine. Obviously we’re giving bigger gifts than we would if we went solo. Also, we usually give less if we’re traveling as that’s a huge expense.
Post # 10
Skip the group gift. Give what you’re comfortable with.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your input!
I just found out the reception is more like $160 per head (wowza). I think I will go in with the group gift because either way, I’m looking at a $200 contribution. I’ll definitely ask SO to pitch in though even if it’s $50 or less. Just had a wedding last weekend which ended up costing me over $500 (hotel, gift, make up) so that’s why I am a bit weary about the cash for this wedding!
It’s always a bit tricky with work colleagues, but I appreciate all your advice 🙂
Post # 12
MsPups: I really don’t think the cost of the reception matters for gifts – our reception would have been up around $140 per head and I certainly would never have expected guests to give me that much each or anywhere near that! I think $100 is fine as a gift for a co-worker (and I’m in Australia too. Or get something off the registry that is on sale so it looks like you did spend more than $100, haha.)
Post # 13
How did you find out how much it costs per guests? Like other bees have said, it doesnt matter anyway.
Post # 14
MsPups: I guess it depends on what you can afford but I wouldn’t be able to afford $200 on someone who wasn’t a really close friend! (especially as you’ve already spent money on this wedding!) <br />I think its the thought that counts and whatever you give will be very much appreciated. I would hate to think that anyone coming to our wedding was spending more than they could afford! (ours is approx $150 per head and I wouldn’t expect people to be giving us that much cash in return!)
If I was you i’d be thinking $100 (i’m also an aussie bee! seriously how expensive is it here lol)
Post # 15
I consider it inappropriate to ask for money from your SO. He is attending as your guest. The gift should be based on your budget and relationship with the couple, although I’m hypocrite enough to acknowledge that I’d give more from two than from one.