Post # 1
This is about my friend, we will call her Anne…
This situation may seem unimportant in the big scheme of things. But, the truth is its hard to meet people when you get older. But, it makes me question how much one should deal with before deciding its not worth it.
Here’s my friends story… Anne got together with a new friend Sharon not to long ago. For their first real outting Anne met her friend Sharon at a mutual place chosen by Sharon herself. Anne is always on time and got there at the chosen time. But, Sharon came driving up last minute and told Anne she was running behind and still had to go home and change clothes. Anne was like, ‘Well, okay I guess… How far away do you live?’ Sharon stated she lived close and that it would only take a few moments. Keep in mind its nighttime. Anne did have her husband with her who was only there to drop her off and leave. But, when her husband found out Sharon was going to go and change clothes he decided to wait with her. Annes husband didn’t like Sharon from the first initial meeting and acted somewhat rude to Sharon because he got frustrated that Sharon wanted to leave Anne there. Anne had already gotten all ready to go out so she wanted to wait. Well, Sharon ended up taking about 30 minutes to get ready while Anne and her husband waited.
And later the following month Sharon quoted Anne a very high price on a service she provides. But, Annes husband later found out they could get the same service for about 80% cheaper somewhere else. Now Annes husband has strongly requested that she have nothing to do with Sharon again. He says he does not trust Sharon and he thinks she is just not a cool person based on the making Anne wait 30 minutes before and her service being 80% higher. He just said he does not trust Sharon at this point.
My question is this… Would what I just explained here turn you off about a ‘new possible friend?’ Or would you blow it off thinking everyone is different and we are all adults and you take people for what they are?
Post # 3
Yes, I would be done with the friendship. Although I do agree that “everyone is different” I think a part of being an adult is being considerate and respectful of other people’s time and money. If someone thinks they can just leave me sitting some place waiting for them to grace me with their presence or think they can try to rip me off then fuck them.
Post # 4
I am a total advocate of cutting people out of your life who arent beneficial to your well being.
That said, is she regularly late to things or was it just that first occurance? And its hard to have an opinion on the price difference thing without knowing what the service is and more of the situation. Where I work, it doesnt matter how close I am with you, things cost what they cost. I’m not willing to lose my job to get someone good deal. I, also, am aware that there are places that do the same work for much cheaper, but its not the same quality.
Post # 5
I would demote her to aquaintance status, but wouldn’t cut her out of my life. Aquaintance status for me means I would hang out with her when it was convenient for me (most likely as part of a group – for example if I was planning a girls night with a group of ladies) and wouldn’t go out of my way for her.
Post # 6
I’d let “Anne” make up her own mind. People can only take advantage of you to the extent that you let them.
Post # 8
I think Anne should decide who she wants to be friends with, & and should tell her husband that she doesn’t need him to tell her who she should hang out with like she’s 17 years old. Furthermore I think Anne should go meet her friends without her husband acting as chaperone as if she iIS17 years old!!!
Post # 10
What’s with the helicoptering husband? That’s just weird.
A husband giving his 2 cents is one thing, but accompanying his wife to wait for her new friend and then issuing his opinion like she’s two? Nope.
Post # 14
chica95110: Do you know if things worked out between them in the end?
If I were Anne, I probably would have just been more cautious about looking after me, meeting in a place where I’m comfortable hanging out on my own and bringing a book or something just to feel it out for a while.
Post # 15
Tinatiny1: I just read your comment…. Its be awhile since I’ve been on this site. My husband came with me and waited because I asked him to because it was pitch black outside. And yes, my husband is ‘allowed’ to give his opinion whenever he feels he wants to or needs to. I don’t control him as he does not control me. He is my best friend and I would never tell him I was not interested in him opinion ever. I value him and his thoughts about both small and large matters. I’d never want my husband of all people to feel as though he could not share with me rather I happen to agree with him or not.
Thanks for your comment though. Its interesting thats what you took out of it.
Post # 16
AB Bride: Sharon asked Anne out one time after about 4 months went by. Anne felt to long of a time had passed and the ‘friendship’ or whatever was not worth her time.
Post # 17
chica95110: im sorry you’re offended, but before you get so insulted, recall that you never said in your original post that I responded to that this was you or your husband.
You said it was a friend’s husband, and it sounded a little weird. I probably wouldn’t have used the the term helicoptering had I known you were writing about your own husband, but I can’t apologize for being misled since you chose to disguise the players.
You wrote that he strongly urged her ( you, apparently) to have nothing to do with this friend after he had been rude to the friend. That feels too overbearing to me. I’m sorry you didn’t like my opinion, but then why are you asking for feedback on the internet if you don’t want opinions thst might be different from yours?
It is also my opinion that I would not allow my spouse to dictate friends to me ( and it sounded lmore dictatorial than offering an opinion the way you write it) and the only time I would take his opinion into account when determining whether or not to be friends with someone is if he had a very bad interaction instigated by my friend or felt offended by said friend. I don’t run my friends by SO.
Post # 18
Tinatiny1: Whoever you are you really got it all backwards. Regardless, my contact with you ends here. Post whatever you want, don’t pm me.