how much crap are you willing to take with a 'new friend?'

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d trust my hubby.

Post # 3
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yes, I would be done with the friendship. Although I do agree that “everyone is different” I think a part of being an adult is being considerate and respectful of other people’s time and money. If someone thinks they can just leave me sitting some place waiting for them to grace me with their presence or think they can try to rip me off then fuck them.

Post # 4
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I am a total advocate of cutting people out of your life who arent beneficial to your well being.

That said, is she regularly late to things or was it just that first occurance? And its hard to have an opinion on the price difference thing without knowing what the service is and more of the situation. Where I work, it doesnt matter how close I am with you, things cost what they cost. I’m not willing to lose my job to get someone good deal. I, also, am aware that there are places that do the same work for much cheaper, but its not the same quality. 

Post # 5
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would demote her to aquaintance status, but wouldn’t cut her out of my life.  Aquaintance status for me means I would hang out with her when it was convenient for me (most likely as part of a group – for example if I was planning a girls night with a group of ladies) and wouldn’t go out of my way for her.

Post # 6
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d let “Anne” make up her own mind. People can only take advantage of you to the extent that you let them.

Post # 8
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think Anne should decide who she wants to be friends with, & and should tell her husband that she doesn’t need him to tell her who she should hang out with like she’s 17 years old. Furthermore I think Anne should go meet her friends without her husband acting as chaperone as if she iIS17 years old!!!

Post # 10
Member
7218 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

What’s with the helicoptering husband? That’s just weird. 

A husband giving his 2 cents is one thing, but accompanying his wife to wait for her new friend and then issuing his opinion like she’s two? Nope. 

Post # 14
Member
10493 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

chica95110:  Do you know if things worked out between them in the end?

If I were Anne, I probably would have just been more cautious about looking after me, meeting in a place where I’m comfortable hanging out on my own and bringing a book or something just to feel it out for a while.

Post # 17
Member
7218 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

chica95110:  im sorry you’re offended, but before you get so insulted, recall that you never said in your original post that I responded to that this was you or your husband.

You said it was a friend’s husband, and it sounded a little weird. I probably wouldn’t have used the the term helicoptering had I known you were writing about your own husband, but I can’t apologize for being misled since you chose to disguise the players.

 You wrote that he strongly urged her ( you, apparently) to have nothing to do with this friend after he had been rude to the friend. That feels too overbearing to me. I’m sorry you didn’t like my opinion, but then why are you asking for feedback on the internet if you don’t want opinions thst might be different from yours?

It is also my opinion that I would not allow my spouse to dictate friends to me ( and it sounded lmore dictatorial than offering an opinion the way you write it) and the only time I would take his opinion into account when determining whether or not to be friends with someone is if he had a very bad interaction instigated by my friend or felt offended by said friend. I don’t run my friends by SO. 

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