Post # 1
My DD’s birthday is only a couple weeks from Christmas. I never know how much is too much and what’s not enough. We don’t have alot of money to splurge on both. When I was growing up, we got about 3-4 gifts for Christmas and 1 nice gift for our birthdays.
What did your parents do? What will you do with your kids?
I’m totally not going to judge anyone who had alot of presents. I know all families are different. (:
Post # 3
I usually got “one big gift” and an assortment of “smaller gifts” for my birthday….. which was the day before Christmas. So, I got “gypped” compared to children who had birthdays vastly different than Christmas.
In the past, I had gotten a SLR Camera and maybe a couple gift cards (20 bucks or less I’d say), another year I got a playstation and a few gift cards/games, stuff like that. My parents always did their best to make me feel special on my birthday and christmas because having your birthday that close to a major gift giving holiday is actually really shitty.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@figgnewton: I was an only child and my dad loves holidays and birthdays so I was spoiled; it was even worse after my parents divorced. It doesn’t help that my birthday is 9 days before Christmas either!
For my birthday I would get about a dozen things which usually included a new outfit, nice shoes or boots, a purse, perfume, and tons of books and games. Christmas was always bigger; I usually got some sort of electronic like a video game system or camcorder and tons of books and games. I always got more for my birthday than Christmas because your birthday is your one special day that is all your own.
My stepdad is very different with my baby sister. You get one big present from Santa and a couple of smaller ones from mom and dad on Christmas. For your birthday, you get one big present and usually some sort of fun outing like going to a hockey game.
As an adult I value quality time and memories over gifts so for birthdays my FI and I always do something fun together like a mini-vacation or dinner at a fancy restaurant. As a parent I plan to continue the tradition by gifting our child one or two gifts for their birthday and then going on an outing according to their age (zoo for two!). For Christmas, it will be one big present and a few small ones.
Post # 5
Our family went through a lot of ups and downs but we always believed in presents. 🙂 Some years they were probably $200 worth, some years $30 or $50. There are only two of us on my Dad’s side and only still two cousins on the other side, so we were pretty spoiled growing up. My Grandma wrote us all (4 grandkids) checks, ranging from $30 to $100 depending how her stocks were doing, until she thought we didn’t need it anymore.
Post # 6
I didn’t know it at the time but I received an irrational, insane amount of presents growing. I was always spoilted but my parent’s divorced when I was 7 and after that our holidays exploded. We didn’t spend Christmas with my dad so we’d give our lists to “Santa” (who we pretty much always knew was my dad) it would literally have like tons of shit on it (bikes, dollhouses, trampolines, roller blades, games, systems, clothes, puppies etc) you name it. My dad would get every single item because he would feel so guilty that he and my mom couldn’t be civil enough to spend holidays together and that was his way of making it up to us. Birthdays were even better because they couldn’t plan a party together so we’d have two, one for each family.
My love language is gifts and it can be quite crippling. Go figure. lol
I think your formula sounds great. A few presents for Christmas and a really special one for her birthday. More than that and the toys won’t get used as much and she’ll probably lose interest.
Post # 7
We’d have a party with cake, and I’d usually get a few books. Nothing huge. My husband’s family does HUGE family dinners for EVERYONE’s birthday, and I think it’s ridiculous. Um…you’re adults. It’s time to have dinner with just your partner/family, not your parents.
If we did not live so close to my in-laws, when our children exist and have birthdays…we’d have cake and ice cream, a few presents, and like…their choice of movie or activity. Because we live smotheringly close to my in-laws, however, it’ll be HUGE family dinners each time. UGH.
Post # 8
For birthdays? Generally $20 from my parents, or an equivalent gift. The exception was one year that they bought me a SNES game – for the uninitiated, SNES games were more expensive than just about any other game system before or since. A single game could retail for $80. That was a very occasional birthday thing, though – usually only if my parents had big parties where other people were invited.
Christmas? Three from “Santa,” since that’s what Baby Jesus was given – hahaha. Other than that, another 3 – 5 gifts from “Mom and Dad.” I’d say most years they spent $200 – $300 per kid for Christmas.
From other relatives? $20 for birthday, $25 for Christmas.
Post # 9
I usually got a lot of gifts for both of them unless I asked for a bigger ticket item. Then everyone would go in for that. If it was for Christmas and I asked for a bigger item, my mom always felt guilty if I would only have one gift under the tree so she would make it a point to buy some dvds and other little things.
Post # 10
We were fairly spoiled at Christmas becuase we received very little during the rest of the year. Christmas was one of the only times of year we got clothes, shoes, new sheets/comforters, toys, and books. All together it was probably about 400-500 per kid after the age of 8. Before age 8 we just got a few presents, but mostly clothes and books and my parents probably spent 200-300. We also got a family present every year which was usually a gaming system, or some other new electronic that was out.
For birthdays we had/have pizza, cake, and ice cream at our house. We always had big sleepovers, but we never had parties at a facility. Usually we got a book, movie, or some other small thing because the party was considered our actual present.
Post # 11
@figgnewton: my sons birthday is Christmas Eve so we give him his presents in November when he has a party. I usually spend $200 if they have a party or $350 if they don’t.
For Christmas I spend $500 on each of my boys aged 13&11. Growing up I never received much so I think that’s why I love to go crazy and spoil my boys. I love buying for them:)))
Post # 12
We usually buy one gift for each occasion for about $100-150 for DD. It might go higher or lower than that. We usually look more at what she wants/needs than the $ amount.
Post # 13
I grew up with a lot of gift giving, especially at Christmas, and therefore always put a lot of pressure on myself to give a lot of gifts in return. I think it sort of desensitized me to gift giving, to the point that I really couldn’t care less for recieving gifts and I kind of hate giving them.
DH and I never made a big deal of giving gifts to each other. If we do give gifts they are rarely a surprise and we’ve sort of slipped into not giving them at all, which I’m fairly happy with. (Besides the pressure of, “so, what did he get you?” that I get from gift-happy my family!)
Post # 14
@figgnewton: My birthday is in November. Generally, I got one big gift from my parents for my birthday and usually got taken out to dinner. For Christmas I got a couple presents from Santa and one big one from mom & dad.
If you want to give multiple presents for Christmas you could always do the “Want/Need/Read” thing. You give them presents with those tags- one thing they want, one they need & one book. My godmother always gave her kids one nice Christmas present and Santa filled a stocking with stuff they needed but would like (cute socks, nice pens for school, bath products) and some candy & stickers. I plan to do that. Why should Santa get all the credit for the big gifts? 😛
Post # 15
@MexiPino: I’ve put thought into that plan as well, but adding the “wear” one – so, something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. And probably some fun little things in their stockings on top of that. I haven’t worked it all out, but I think “want, need, wear, read” and a special gift from Santa makes sense.
DH and I haven’t talked about this, but it’s important to me that we not go overboard with gifts for Christmas. I’d rather our kids grow up with special family traditions and appreciating Christmas as a time for family and faith, not as a time to get a boatload of stuff. And it’s not because of amount spent – we could do the same thing and spend a lot or a little – it’s about establishing traditions and values that don’t revolve around commercial and material stuff.
For birthdays, we usually got one bigger gift we’d been wanting, and several smaller things. I think that’s reasonable.
Post # 16
@figgnewton: When they were young it was a little over $100-$150 or so, same for birthday and Christmas. That’s usually enough for one big gift or a few smallish ones. And it’s gradually gone up a little as they’ve got older 🙂
But if it’s your DD’s first birthday, she won’t remember so it doesn’t matter if what you do isn’t what you do in future.