Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
Not to insult anyone because I know talking or asking about money when it comes to weddings is a no-no. But here’s the thing, my FI and I were planning on paying for everything ourselves. We’ve got most of it taken care of, and then I had car trouble, it cost to fix it of course, we also have kids and some of the wedding fund went to their school stuff. So I swallowed my pride (a VERY hard thing for me to do especially when it comes to my parents and money), and asked my dad if he was willing to help. He very generously agreed and asked me to send him a number and he’d write me a check. He didn’t say exactly how much he was willing to help. Which is fine. My problem is the portion we have left to pay is the most expensive and I’m scared to ask him for that much.
Both my FI and I come from big families and our catering bill is going to be big, we knew this and were trying to cut costs as much as we can while still having a nice dinner. Granted the amount we will be billed is reasonable for a large reception…$4,000 but again I am nervous to tell my dad that amount.
Is $4,000 a reasonable amount to ask my parents to help with? Again I don’t want to insult anyone, so if you don’t want to post numbers you could always just say “they helped with less or more than that” I won’t judge, and it was completely mine and my FI’s idea to pay for the wedding ourselves, or as much of it ourselves as possible (since now we are asking for help). I guess I’m just looking for some comfort that I’m not a “greedy brat”, even though I know I’m not.
Post # 2
He did offer to help, and he asked you for a number, so I would just tell him that you have $4000 left to pay off, and tell him that anything would help.
My parents bought some alcohol [about $300 worth] for our $14,000 wedding. FMIL & FFIL purchased their daughters [my bm] bridesmaid dress [$160]. Otherwise, we’ve paid for everything ourserlves.
Post # 3
He offered to help, thats the number you need help with, so send it to him! Don’t be scared. You are NOT being a greedy brat. AT ALL.
My parents paid for my wedding 100%.
Post # 4
If he offered to help, I think he would like to know the amount you actually need.
Post # 5
I would tell him how much you have left over ($4000) and see what he would like to contribute.
My parents paid for the whole wedding. Their original budget was $6k but I think it ended up being more like $9k.
Post # 6
Since he offered to help and asked you for a number, I would let him know that, currently, you need $4000 and would be very grateful if he could help with some or all of this amount. Then see what he says.
Post # 7
Since he offers to help tell him the number if he can pay the remaining balance he will write the check for it or whatever he can give he will give it to just talk to him he is your after all dimt be scared.
Post # 8
Our parents helped out more than that but there isn’t one ‘right’ number for everything. I think you should let him know that you’re struggling to come up with the $4000 and tell him that any amount will be extremely helpful.
Post # 9
My dad put in about 4500$ and my mom 1500$ so roughly 6k of the 20k wedding. I didn’t ask, they just gave me checks after I got engaged. i would tell your dad what you owe and say anything he can contribute would be greatly appreciated 🙂
Post # 10
We are in the same boat my parents are paying about 5k for the wedding, my In laws around 3K and we are paying 3K
Post # 11
My in laws gave us $1,000 towards the wedding and paid for a pretty lavish rehearsal dinner. My parents contributed $7,500. It was a surprise for my birthday about 3 weeks before the wedding. I was shocked and so, so appreciative. $4,000 is a resonable number if that’s what you actually need and they offered to help.
Post # 12
If you combined everything my parents gave, i’d say it was about $8k. Plus my sister was my MOH, and she and my mom threw us a couples bbq instead of a shower, and I know my parents paid for all the food and liquor for 60 people.
I think it depends on their financial situation…for some people 4k is a lot. For others, not really. If you’re worried, why don’t you offer to pay a portion back?
Post # 13
NurseMandie: My parents gave us $2,000 towards the wedding and also $500 towards my dress. The in laws are hosting the rehearsal dinner for 40 of our friends (and their SO) and some of the immediate family. Other then that we have paid for everything else of our $11,000 wedding! I would just be honest with your dad and say that you appreciate that he is willing to help and that the last bit costs $4,000 and that he can help with what he feels comfortable with. I did that with my parents when they asked how muchI was going to need. I told them the budget for the wedding, told them that they choose what they were comfortable paying with. They then surprised me with the dress part when I went to buy it! Good luck!
Post # 14
NurseMandie: neither of our parents are helping us at all. Why not ask your parents for whatever they’d like to contribute, and see if you can trim back anywhere else?
The other alternative is to hope that you get enough envelopes at your wedding to cover the gap.
Post # 15
I would never take money from my family for my wedding.