How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?
    None, they can wear whatever they want : (96 votes)
    52 %
    Not stated on the invite, but the invite should give them a clear idea : (45 votes)
    24 %
    Stated on the invite, kept it under 3 words : (14 votes)
    8 %
    Details are on an invitation insert card : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Details are on our wedding website : (29 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @CurlyCue:  There’s no attached card on your post.

    I’m not giving any attire direction, nor have I seen any for any of the weddings I’ve ever been to.  Everyone was dressed in perfectly respectible cocktail attire for all but one of the weddings (which had lots of people in jeans, but that was fitting for the bride and groom’s style, location, and guest list).  I would be annoyed as a guest to be told to wear a particular color/pattern, other than a general level of formality (ie black tie/avoid heels because it’s on the beach/etc).  I’m a guest, not a prop.

    Post # 4
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d never give my guests any direction. They are adults, they know how to dress themselves. I expect people to come to my expensive wedding in jeans but why would I care? My guests weren’t telling me what my dress should look like why should I tell them what to wear?

    Post # 5
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It never occurred to me to tell guests what to wear to my wedding.

    Now I can see some logic in adding a helpful note if you are having a black tie event or other super-formal wedding. Or even some sort of costume themed wedding and want everyone in medieval garb but even then, you have to accept that you won’t get 100% compliance.

    On the whole, people really dislike being told what to wear. Also, what do you do with the people who won’t go along with the dress code? You can’t reasonably refuse them admission.

    It just seems like a no-win situation that’s not worth the hassle to me. It will almost always cause some drama and yet you can’t ultimately enforce a dress code anyway. So why cause the drama in the first place? 

    I was just delighted that so many people were so pleased to share such an important day with us. What they wore was really not anything I concerned myself with. Or even noticed!

    Post # 6
    5935 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    None. Everyone showed up in appropriate attire.

    Post # 7
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    None. They are all adults and I trusedt them to dress appropriately. Which they did. I didnt’ feel the need to tell them how to dress

    Post # 9
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    None and they all dressed well.

    I was given a dress code for my suprise hen though….

    ….and the invite for my second hen (yup, spoilt rotten and very greatful for it) had posh frocks and pink champagne written on the front….which i think was a hint!

    Post # 11
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    @Polygon:  The ONLY time it is appropriate to dictate wardrobe choices to your guests is when it is truly a ‘black tie’ event.

    ‘Black Tie Optional’ doesn’t count.  Below is the REQUIREMENTS to make an event Black Tie

    • Event begins after 6pm

    • High end, indoor venue

    • Valet service provided by the Bride and Groom

    • Gloved service

    • Hand passed hor d’ourves

    • Top shelf open bar with full wine list and preferably with a sommelier on site to assist with wine choices.

    • Multi course gourmet level plated meal- generally 5 to 7 courses, and preferably with dual entrees or tableside ordering

    • Real china, silver ware, glassware, linens, etc

    • Multi piece live band and and a DJ or secondary performers for when the main entertainment takes breaks

    • High end decor and custom lighting

    Your venue, invitation, and time of day are what set the tone for your guests to choose their attire. 

    Post # 12
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @CurlyCue:  In this case, it’s  a shower invite not a wedding that we’re talking about.  I’ve seen lots of themed bridal showers where guests are asked to dress to a theme.  I don’t think that’s an issue.

    For the WEDDING, unless it’s a theme, or you’re doing Black Tie/White Tie etc you don’t say anything.  I have included on our info card that the ceremony will be outside so people can plan accordingly, but other than that, they can wear what they want (and I pray it’s not jeans)

    Post # 14
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @CurlyCue:  Anyone who takes etiquette tips from a Kardashian is beyond helping.

    Post # 15
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @CurlyCue:  I would count that as a ‘theme’ – Black and White. 


    Post # 16
    2364 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @CurlyCue:  I am not doing so, but I don’t think it’s a bad idea.  For instance, we went to a wedding that was a step down from black tie, and I wore an appropriate, but what i felt was too casual of a dress and was self conscious the whole time.  I defnitely had more formal things I could have worn but didn’t think to.  I wish I’d known!

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