Post # 1
My husband and I are attending our friends’ local wedding. I’m a bridesmaid. There’s a “full dinner” provided at the fancy restaurant for the reception. How big a check should we write as a wedding gift? So far we have spent:
$120 in gifts for two engagement parties
$80 for a bridesmaid dress
$190 for alterations
$20 for shoes
$60 for hair
$30 for bouquets
$100 for the bridal shower
$75 in shower gifts
$20 for a bachelor gift
$30 for the bachelor party
$60 for transporting shower food to/from venue
I’ll be getting a rehearsal dinner and sandwiches for lunch the day of. The bride paid for beach weekend lodging last year when the bridesmaids shared a suite and helped with her planning. We gave $200 to our other friends for their wedding, but only spent $250 total on other things. Thoughts?
Post # 3
@oldmatron: I’d give what you usually give. She’s buying your lodging so why not just give your usual amount? Looks like you’ve already spent a bunch but you knew you would going into it, right?
Post # 4
@LilRhodyGem: I should clarify. The beach lodging was part of a bridesmaid weekend last year where we shared a suite and helped with her planning.
Post # 5
I was a bridesmaid for a fairly reasonable wedding this summer and spent nearly $1500 before the whole thing was over. FI and I ended up giving about $350 as a wedding gift. She is a good friend of mine if that helps you decide any.
I second PP and say just give what you normally give/can afford. You’ve spent a fair amount already but it looks like she tried to keep costs fairly reasonable for you ($80 dress and $20 shoes + hair) and is paying for your lodging.
Post # 6
@oldmatron: wow, you’ve spent a lot already. I’d give what you’re comfortable giving, considering you already gave three gifts for the showers.
ETA: I didn’t realize BMs covered the cost of their own bouquets?
Post # 7
None of the things you’ve mentioned has much, if anything, to do with the others. Give according to the closeness of your relationship and what you can afford.
Post # 8
@letigre: +1, never heard of a bridesmaid paying for their own bouquet.
I second all the PP’s that say give what you can comfortably give, regardless of how much you’ve already spent.
Post # 9
In my opinion (and Ive told all of my bms this I DO NOT want a wedding gift or cash from them. I am happy with them buying there own dress and paying the 35 bucks for hair and make up as long as they show up to my wedding and hold my dress while I pee that is gift enough for me.
Post # 10
@letigre: +1. Give what you can afford and take into account what you have already spent. If a friend of mine was expecting me to spend a lot to be in the wedding AND give a huge gift then I wouldn’t want to be friends with that person.