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Anyone else hate talking about carat size or embarrassed by some of the comments regarding the size of your ring?
How about an anonymous survey concerning carat size. I have no idea what most people have or what people find to be average, let's find out.
I come from a small town. But I am marrying a Texan, my ring is bigger than most people see out here, but I think it is perfect.
Some have grabbed my hand and asked how much the ring cost.
I typically say, "I don't know", which is mostly true. However, I have said to some, it didn't cost me anything, but rather is a token of love and forever promise of his love for the rest of our lives.
Sometimes I think a simple band would be much more private concerning our finances.
Any opinions on this?
I don't think size matters at all. If he wanted to get you a big ring, then by all means.
I don't think size matters very much at all...whatever looks good on your hand. I prefered a smaller stone of higher clarity and cut quality
So you want us to tell you how big our ring is, but your post is about how you hate talking about yours? Ironic? Yes! :) Kidding!
I really don't mind the questions, because I know people are asking because it's beautiful. It's larger than most as well and I've had a couple of people ask me how much. {I know the exact amount, because I was there when he wrote the check.} But, instead of the dollar amount, I just tell them that it cost less than my husband and daughter are worth to me...way less. :)
My E ring is 2.25. My wedding band makes it 3.65. I clicked the 2 to 3 portion b/c I'm assuming we just mean engagement rings, not the set?? The number alone sounds monstrous, but honestly, it's what best looks good on me and my hand. Dainty is not a good look on me, but I've had lots of friends try on my rings and it simply overpowers them. To each their own! I think clarity and color is not something to compromise for size, though. I think all rings are gorgeous. I have a friend whos' BF probably can't afford anything larger than half a carat, and I keep telling her who cares?!?!?! All that matters is that it's on YOUR finger and you said "yes" =]
I don't mind sharing with strangers and friends alike. I'm not ashamed of what my FI and I can and cannot afford.
I was more into the quality (cut and clarity) of my stone than the carat. Mine is a little over a carat and it's perfect for me. I am a small person with tiny hands (size 4 ring!) so I wanted something around a carat.
I usually mutter something about it being an heirloom stone. Because everyone wants to know how much it cost, the 4Cs...how rude!
I think it's important to find a stone that looks good on your hand! (and that you and your fiancé can afford, of course). When we were ring shopping, the salesperson at Cartier nearly swallowed his cufflinks when I said that the 1.5ct stone looked too big for my hand and I wanted something smaller. In the end, and most definitely not at Cartier, we chose a .88ct center stone with flanking diamonds in a channel setting.
By the way, it's totally rude for people to demand the cost of your ring and you shouldn't feel embarrassed at all; they should!
Hmm good question. Personally for me, I wanted something around 1 carat (which I got) but I know that many times a smaller carat size can look bigger if it's a great stone in a great setting. I wanted to make sure it would look right on my long, skinny fingers. This just happened to be the best option for us.
To answer another question, yes I get embarrassed talking about the size/price of my ring. Just this weekend there was an incident where my FI was getting crap from some family (jokingly, though) and he blurted out "Hey, that ring cost more than my car!" I was SO embarrassed. Mind you, he has a used car. Lol, I don't have a $30,000 ring. But the fact that his sister, sister's bf, mom, dad, grandma, and cousin now know that my ring was that expensive is just a little unsettling. I don't like talking about money to begin with, so something this personal to me is a big deal. I'm sure there are smaller diamonds of better quality and bigger diamonds of lesser quality out there that cost the same as mine. But that's for me to know, and you to keep guessing about ;)
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Bigger stones didn't look very good on my hand. So mine's about a half a carat. And I love it! It is nearly colorless and nearly blemish free. It sparkles like nobodys business even when it needs cleaned.
I think you should wear a ring that suits you whether it's big or small; round or emerald cut; or diamond or a colored stone. I love to see a ring that brings out the wearer's (is that even a word?) personality.
KateMW- yes good point, but i was curious so I put a anonymous poll. mostly because I wonder what is "common" for a ring.
Clearly they are all over the board, the variety in size is the same in style variety.
I love that we have the freedom to be individuals and that places like www.weddingbee.com support that.
Oh, and I am just now reading all the other posts. I am sorry, I wasn't wanting each to say how many carats, I guessed the survey would take care of that while keeping the information private. Now I feel embarrassed for asking.
It is funny business for sure.
I am trying to find some comfort in telling people it is not of their business as I mostly just blush and tuck my hands away right now, but it is all so new to me.
I only had one requirement, it had to be as "green" as he was willing go.
Besides, I still feel like the most important jewelry I'll ever wear is going to the wedding band, and maybe that is because I want my bad to match his exactly, only smaller. Anyone else feel this way?
I also think it's weird when people ask how big it is. Someone flat out asked me how many carats it is and I was a bit taken aback!
Just to clarify: I didn't mean on this board, I meant like an acquiantance who asked me when she heard I got engaged.
My diamond is larger than all of my friends' and I find that complete strangers will grab my hand and ask to see it. I am a very modest girl who doesn't wear any jewelry at all so the attention it draws makes me uncomfortable. I find myself hiding my ring sometimes because I don't want to come accross as spoiled or flashy. My stone is a family heirloom that my fiance inherited...it didn't cost us a penny! It is beautiful and I feel so lucky and appreciative to have it I just wish women would stop comparing their stones to mine. All diamonds are gorgeous!
The only people who ever ask me to my face is how big my ring actually is are my friends. Or weddingbee, and I just don't care. In fact, a BM of mine this weekend asked how my carats i hit with my wedding bands. She wasn't doing it to be rude, though. You can tell when people are doign it with ill intentions. And anyone who does is asking because they think it's so gorgeous and has a wow factor. I always wonder how many carats somebody is wearing. One carat looks so different across so many different people, it's almost too hard nowadays to tell just by looking. I guess I don't mind showing off the pretty ring my FI gave me! Cost? THAT'S a no-no. Well, I would just say, "that's really none of your business" and people realize how incredibly rude it was of them. I dont think anyone's asked that.What we got it for and what it's worth are two different things, though!
jdelaney3, you have a gorgeous ring! i rememrber you saying you got it from your fi's late mother. YOu should be proud of it! Not every family has a family stone to pass down, and i just LOVE when people have rings and/or stones that have meanings behind them. Mine certainly doesn't!!! "yes we bought it in a store".hahah. nothing special about that! you know, heirloom-wise.
based on the polls, i have a larger-than average ring. even here in nyc where bling isn't uncommon, i have had some comments that caught me off guard. one of the best things i read was in terms of how to respond to the question 'how big is it, how many carats, what did it cost?'. when it's a stranger (i couldn't care less about friends)that i think is being unusually uncouth, now i usually answer, in a sweet non-defensive way, 'oh, why do you ask?'
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Would you believe that mine's less than one carat? People think it looks HUGE and I get all sorts of comments. The setting, the cut, and my fingers all play a part. I have really slender fingers and any bigger than this, I think would be too much for me.
I think size totally matters- every bride should get a ring that she adores- in whatever size she likes!
I have fat fingers- if I got a little stone, it probably would look teeny, tiny on my hand. However, I tried on some very substantial settings that could have totally made up for a smaller center stone.
In the end I got a white sapphire center stone that is a little over 1ct in size. It looks great on my finger, I love it.
So really- size matters in so much as the bride should love her ring- everyone else's opinion is irrelevant!
I love my diamond. It is .75 carat. I think the setting makes enhances its appearance and the cut, clarity and color also factor in. We did look at a 1 carat diamond as well, but I thought it looked to big and it was more than we wanted to spend. I don't see the importance in getting a huge diamond for your engagement though. It is something that can be upgraded through the years... and besides engagement= wedding soon after, and we all know how expensive those can be.
I don't think anyone that matters has made negative comments about my ring. My ring is a blue sapphire with 2 small diamonds and 3 smaller diamonds on each side. (It's the past, present, future ring from Zales.) I told him LONG before he proposed that I didn't want diamonds. He said his Mom would think that's weird and I said I didn't care I didn't want diamonds! LOL Well when he proposed he told me that this one had more meaning to our relationship (we've been together for almost 8 years) and that it had some small diamonds so people wouldn't say anything about him not giving me a diamond! LOL I had originally wanted a Ruby ring (ruby is my birthstone - Sapphires are blue (my favorite color) so that's why I like them too!). I'm not one for tradition! LOL
Nobody has asked what my ring cost and although I know I wouldn't tell them (lets say it's not the "standard" 2 months salary), because it's none of their business and they can make whatever financial situation assumptions they want.
Don't worry what other people say or assume, if you love your ring then to heck with them! LOL :) Engagement rings are something personal between you and your FI - people making mean comments are usually jealous! Be proud of that rock sistah! :D
Honestly, size does not mean a darn thing. My Fiance was actually more concerned with the quality of the diamond then anything. I have a 3/4 carat and I could not be pleased! I have small fingers, 5 1/2 and anything larger would be gaudy. Some people are rude about it, but those are the people I find completely shallow and materialistic. There are those people out there that need a big diamond to feel worth something or for show, but it does not mean a thing. Your ring is a symbol from your fiance of his love and commitment, is there really a price tag on that?
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I got a sapphire, and it is ginormous IMO (1.8). Anything bigger would have looked like a rich old lady's cocktail ring. I do have small hands, though, and the intense blue probably makes it look bigger.
That said, and I know I have shared this elsewhere, I get a different kind of ring-related-craziness: the assumption that I actually wanted a diamond, and will replace the stone later. To which I always react with a ?!?!?!
Now, I totally understand the modest ring, update in the future idea. I think that is entirely respectable and charming. But it is a personal thing, And, I feel like my ring is pretty ostentatious (I gave FI creative license, and he spent about twice what I expected), and reflects a clear choice. I feel like this reaction is poo-pooing my choice. And even if it were a small diamond instead, who asks about upgrading anyways?!
Any of the ladies with smaller diamonds get that crazy reaction, or is it just me with the sapphire?
Doesn't matter to me! I've always known I'd have a small diamond, not b/c my FI can't afford it, but because I really just like small things -- perfect for my small fingers (4.5!), hehe. When we went ring shopping together, I tried on a few different sizes and to be totally honest, the 1ct ones looked scary on my finger, not to mention I'd be so stressed toting around that kind of bling in real life :p. I believe mine is something like .39 or something but people frequently guess that it's much larger than it really is. No one has ever made any comments regarding the size of my ring (well minus a few joking comments by a few of my female relatives, but it was all in good fun) and I have only compared my ring size to other engaged ladies ONCE -- it's hard to avoid during premarital counseling class when everyone has a ring on! But after 30 secs it was back to love love love :).
I always wanted a 1-carat ring because my mom's is HUGE (don't know exact but over 2.5 cts) and growing up I hated how people stared at it or thought it meant we were snobby or something. I got a ring thats a tad (tad) bit bigger than a carat and if we're being honest, I was surprised by how small it looked when I got it! I do care most about quality (and mine is excellent), and a carat isn't exactly small but sometimes I get ring envy, I guess because I didn't pick mine out. Mostly I hate when people say my ring is "so cute." I hate that! A lot of people tell me that and I don't know why?
Anyway, I haven't had many ask me how big or how much it cost, actually. When asked I have said I don't know (to the cost part) even though I do. Although i was briefly discussing rings (what do they cost, what should a 1 ct ring cost, etc) with some of my best (single) friends recently and they kind of alluded to wanting to know what my ring cost, and since they are such good friends I said something like, my ring was around xx, I'm not sure exactly but in that range or something like that.. kind of vague but since I knew, I figured oh well.
Total, my e-ring is around 1.5 carats, but that's also because it's got diamonds all around it...I'm not gonna lie I do get ring envy and wish my centerstone was a bit larger...I look at Miss Perfume's and I feel the drool forming in the corner of my mouth, lol!
@monitajb: I TOTALLY hate when people say that!! I have a white sapphire, and people always ask me if a) I think I'm pulling it off as a diamond (uh, no!) or b) I plan to "upgrade" to a diamond! I'm always mad because they can't tell it's not a diamond until I tell them, and I don't want a diamond. I told FI I wanted a ruby but he thinks rubies are too "common" (he's crazy, and I'm still holding out for ruby jewelry later!). But he loved the sapphire idea, as almost everything I own has sapphires on it, and I'm a self-proclaimed sapphire nut. But what would give people the idea that they can imply your stone is somehow substandard just because you didn't buy into the WIC is beyond me!
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@Lillindy... haha mine is too, if you count the stones on my band it's 1.5 but sometimes I wish I could just smoosh them into the center stone instead! That's so bad, I really do love my ring haha. And I loved 1 ct and REQUESTED IT! Insisted, even, on no bigger! As my jeweler says though, "the funny thing about diamonds is they shrink!"
@monalisa670: Haha, you sound just like me, but like you I do love my ring and don't want to sound ungrateful. I think your jeweler hit the nail on the head...diamonds DO shrink!
Prior to buying the stone, we were getting a lot of comments like "make sure it's at least 2 carats, " or "you dont want anything too small," and they really annoyed me and probably placed a lot of undue stress on FH. Well, FH ignored the rude comments and shopped around forever for an amazing solasfera stone. Mine is a little over one carat and it's perfect for me. I've got long skinny size 4 fingers and anything larger looked gaudy on me. I love my ring so much and every time I look at it I am reminded of how much I am loved because of the care and effort FH put into researching and finding the perfect one for me.
My mom always told my boyfriend, before we became engaged, that she better not need a microscope to see it and he better get me a real ring, not a chip, haha 
She never would have said it if she'd known he couldn't honestly afford a ring though.
When people ask how many carat's your ring is, just make something up. :) I'm a very private person and I would absolutely hate it if someone was to be that nosy and ask me a question like that. So just make something up and keep them guessing...
My diamond is 0.75 carats, and I LOVE it!!! It's an unusual shape (pear) so it looks the same size as a 1 carat round. I think size only matters so much as you want to keep up with the "jones", beyond that I don't think there is any correlation between carat size and your FI's devotion or anything.
So is the poll "What carat size do you think is right?" or "what carat size do you have?" In my case it's two different answers.
My ring is a 1.5 carat round solitaire, and I love it. That was my "dream" diamond size and I honestly never expected it - I would have been perfectly happy with less. FI said he didn't want me to have to upgrade later and just got my ideal size. It works well for me because my fingers aren't small - size 7, and so it doesn't look gaudy. Although I do get lots of comments about how big it is and sometimes I feel self conscious about it like when I'm on the bus, so I just turn it around (with the stone facing my palm). I think it's different for everyone - one of my friends has tiny fingers and her 1 ct looks the same as mine does on my fingers -it's proportional.
I honestly didn't have a specific size in mind when my fiance picked out my ring. I cared more about the cut and quality of the stone than I did just making sure it was a certain size. I was really happy with what my fiance chose and wouldn't want anything different. I know my friend has a family heirloom stone (which is probably close to 3.5 carats) and she gets all kinds of rude comments from people about it. ("I didn't know you had THAT much money"...) Even though I've commented on the style of someone's ring, I try to stay away from commenting on the size. I always figure that everyone's finances are their own business--the main point is that they're engaged and happy.
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To me, size doesn't matter. The ring is a symbol of something so much bigger; it should mean something to each of you, no matter what its made of.
I knew I wanted something different (I dont really care for diamonds...I dont know why...) so we found an antique-style solitaire garnet ring with teeny diamonds along the band. I couldnt care less how much diamond is on my finger...i love it.
Let me just say that my FI is totally unaware of many traditions...his family only really celebrates New Years, and they place almost no importance on gifts of any sort. Ex: for birthdays and christmas, his mother generally gives dollar store knicknacks.
Anyways, back to the ring. I am cheap. We live together, and I told him I'd marry him, but I wanted a ring. (His response: "is that a law?"). But we can not afford to spend a lot, and I personally have delicate hands that anything over about .5 carat looks ridiculous on. (In my opinion).
So, what I ended up with is a wedding set off Craigslist that cost us $100, looks brand new, and all of the channel set diamonds and solitaire total to about 1/4 carat. I love it and our bills are paid.
However, I always get sh*t for it. "why is it so small?" "how much did he pay?" "and you said YES to THAT!?".
SO RUDE!
To me it is all up to the bride to be and the groom and their wiggle room in budget.
As for me, I gotta say, I like diamonds. Love diamonds! My former wedding ring (with my x) was a 2.25 ct radiant in a platinum band with band encircled vertically with baguettes. It was gorgeous!
I already know what's coming my way (and what he's paying off). Close to a 3 ct round with two side baguettes in platinum.
But then again we have a bit more wiggle room, and we're older, and our bills aren't that substantial other than house/car/school stuff.
If anybody grabs my hand and makes a negative comment, I fire one back. I once got somebody say to me "Wow. That is almost just TOO big" (about my former engagement/wedding ring). I said "it's gorgeous". Anybody who'd say something negative is either insecure or jealous imho.
Size doesn't matter. What matters is YOU ARE BOTH happy and in love and if it's a paper cigar band, or the Hope diamond, it matters not!!! But somebody being tactless, jealous, or insecure will NOT fly with me. I'm always encouraging and happy for my friends, as real friends should be. I'd seriously evaluate why and who the person is to me if they spouted such negative stuff about me at such a happy time in my life..
@srk6268U: I love your response to the prying questions!! Fantastic!
I tried on a bunch of different rings when we were first shopping. Just like cheerful experienced at Cartier, the larger stones just looked gigantic on my hand. My ring finger is a size 5 & the 2 carat solitaires looked like costume jewelry!
The ring my fiance eventually chose was, of course, perfect, but the stone is a much higher quality & larger size than any of my friends'. My FI had been saving to buy the ring for almost three years, so it makes it even more special to me.
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