- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
You give what you can afford, and if you are spending money in the wedding, then you do not have to give as big a gift then if you were not.
If being in the wedding is too much, you can politely decline due to the cost.
@lefeymw: Agreed. I'd politely decline if it's too much (as it sounds like it may be, or it could quickly get there). And you don't need to give the full gift amount if you're paying for all of these other expenses yourself.
Oh my god, I could have a field day in this thread!
I don't know what site you were looking at but that couldn't be farther from the truth (unless you're a Kardashian or something). I'd say the average per person gift would be somewhere between $50-$200 depending on where you're from and the crowd you roll with.
As for your sister in law, she's the perfect example of a bridezilla. Requiring so much of your bridesmaids is wrong any way you look at it. It is absolutely not your obligation to buy your own flowers. If a bride ever asked me to do that I would laugh in her face. Unfortunately some people feel that requiring their 'maids to pay for their own hair and makeup and get spa treatments is fine but I couldn't possibly disagree more. I even feel that $300 for a dress is too much to ask on top of buying shoes but I guess I'd just rather my girls not spend a ton of money on my day.
Where the hell does she get off refusing to buy your bridesmaid dress for $180 but forcing her girls to spend hundreds of dollars on hers? She's clearly delusional.
And finally, "cash gifts only"! Are you serious?! She would be getting a toaster from me with a book on etiquette.
Ok, I'm done. :)
@UpstateCait: I literally laughed out loud while reading your post! You said exactly what I was thinking, I wasn't sure if it was just me! I am all for the bride doing whatever she wants with her wedding day, but then she should be prepared to pay for the majority of things as well! Guess what her excuse was when she refused to buy my bridesmaid dress? She couldn't afford it, since she wanted to save for their wedding! When she gave me the price tag for her dresses, I mentioned that that was quite a bit more than I had planned to spend, considering I had a wedding to help pay for as well.
At this point, I am considering backing out, because of the price tags on everything, as well as everything else seems to be her trying to one up me and I refuse to play that game. I feel guilty after having said yes, but I'd rather back out than end up with bad feelings towards her.
Wow she is unbelievable! I would call her up and say that the price of being her bridesmaid is far more than you expected and at this point you wouldn't even be able to afford to get her that cash gift she wants so much, so you are going to have to step down. Maybe if she doesn't want to lose you she will offer to help with some of the expenses. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it simply because she is being ridiculous! Especially the flowers-clearly she knows nothing about etiquette.
@BrendatobeTownson: She seems like the type who wouldn't take a bridesmaid breakup well but if you don't do it, she'll suck you dry. Participating in a wedding so close to your own would be a challenge for anyone but she has majorly unrealistic expectations and she's taking advantage of her bridesmaids. You don't need that kind of stress when you have your own wedding to worry about.
@UpstateCait: I second this.
Sweet Merciful Crap! That's insane.
I'll say this for her; she's got balls.
Just WAIT for the comments about the "cash only" bit; geez...RUDE.
The only items you should pay for is the bridesmaid dress and your shoes. Find a pair that is similar and just tell her that you have your own wedding to plan and this is just not in your budget right now. She should understand as she will be your "inlaw". Family would usually understand if you don't give them a money gift. A bride should never expect such a large amount like this from immediate family. The wedding day should be celebrated with love and excitement. This is not realistic and the "cash gift only" is very tacky
Thanks everyone, it helps to know I'm not alone in my thinking that this is crazy!
Oh woww. I would stage a mutiny with the other BM's and then back out of the wedding. She is crazy.
..pay for your bouquet that I will pick out. hahaha
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 26 |
| beargoose | 21 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| Ms. Salamander | 18 |
| LammChop | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| kat2014 | 15 |
| mypinkshoes | 15 |
| s.renea9 | 15 |
| aussiebee | 15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 3 |
| rebwana | 3 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| sara_tiara | 1 |
| vlbee | 1 |
| Ellegee | 1 |
| messymonkey | 1 |
| dlujan | 1 |
| RayKay | 1 |
| fishbone | 1 |
Hi ladies!
My brother and his girlfriend got engaged a couple weeks ago. I have a great relationship with both of them, I'm a bridesmaid for her and she is one for me. The bridesmaid dress she is looking at is over $300, she picked out some pricey shoes for us to buy, found a high end salon where we are to get our hair and makeup done at our own expense, we're all expected to get manicures and pedicures a couple days before the wedding, and also take a day or two before the wedding and a few days after the wedding off work to 'help her'. Then she asked if we would mind buying our own bouquets of her choice. Now, I've been a bridesmaid before and we were asked to pay for our dressse, but then she just specified that we were to wear white open toe shoes, have our hair up, and that was it. For my bridesmaids, I asked them to buy their dresses ($180, which my FSIL objected to because it was to expensive to her) and ivory open toe shoes, and have thier hair down. It hadn't even occured to me to ask them to pay for everything! Is this normal? What have you bought for weddings you were in??
On a different note, when they went to look at invitations, she specified for them to write on their invitations 'cash gifts only'. Now, we would prefer cash gifts as well, but I would never dream of writing on the invitation! But anyways, our wedding is less than a month after theirs (not my fault, we booked our date and venue a couple months before they even got engaged) and so money is tight, nevermind after paying for all my stuff in their wedding. I don't really know how much we should be giving them for a cash gift, I know we won't be able to give a large amount. On one site I saw that for family it should be $800-$1000 per person. We definitely can't afford that after everything else! Any advice?