(Closed) How much does your FI help with wedding planning?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How much does your FI help with the wedding planning?
    He helps with everything, even the flowers and the decorations : (4 votes)
    9 %
    He helps with most, gives his input at least about the decor dress etc : (7 votes)
    16 %
    He helps with some, things like catering music and location : (14 votes)
    31 %
    He helps with a little, place time the big decisions : (10 votes)
    22 %
    He helps with very little, maybe the venue and the date : (4 votes)
    9 %
    He doesn't help at all, not even his opinion : (1 votes)
    2 %
    He gives his opnion but not often : (5 votes)
    11 %
    other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    My FI definitely doesn’t help the “average” amount. He has a say in every aspect of the wedding and we both want it that way. It is the beginning of our life together and we want to plan it together.

    For example, he searched for florists yesterday on his day off because I couldn’t find any I liked.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Right now, FH doesn’t help a lot, but we still have a little while to go. He did go with me to look at a venue, and he told me how awesome it was so we needed to put down a deposit. I also found out he’s been working on a playlist for the wedding and reception. 

    I think he’s helped a good bit more than I expected him too considering how far out we are. I don’t expect him to help with everything, because there are some things he doesn’t care or know anything about, like flowers and hair styles, so I’m trying to involve him in things he does like. The closer we get, the more he’ll help out. FH is definitely the most organized one, so I’m going to depend on him. He’s also the best budgeter I know. When it comes down to it, the only thing I imagine FH not helping with is picking flowers and decorations, but I have friends for that stuff.  And he will help out any time I ask him too. So I do consider myself lucky to have him to help out.  

    He is really excited about planning the honeymoon though. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    FI is planning the honeymoon, that’s about it.  Even just getting addresses from him is like pulling teeth!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    FI helped pick the venue, the food, the cake, and the honeymoon!

    Post # 7
    Member
    11753 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My FI doesn’t do much as far as planning goes.  He’s been there for all the important things and gives his input. But mostly, he just supports me and the decisions I make and stands up for me against my mom who tries to control everything and take all the decisions away from me.  As long as I am happy and getting what I want, he is happy and on board!

    He did find the honeymoon location though on his own! 🙂

    He doesn’t do much research on things, he does like to have veto power though! (go figure!)  

    Post # 8
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We’re 50/50 on making decisions, but I do more of the research because I like doing it and he really doesn’t

    Post # 9
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    He helps with 90% of the tasks (I had full control of my dress and a few other things, he has full control of music and a few other things [based on our interests]).

    Usually I do the initial research and he does the final research for each vendor/decision. I narrow down the options and he makes the final call, or he doesn’t like any of my options and does the beginning research again and then I make the final call. We chose the venues, DJ, and photographer together. I picked my dress but he did have input on my veil. I will have input on his tux. He picked the number of attendants and then I picked my half and he picked his. He picked the first color (red) and I picked the second one (teal). Its a back and forth process but it works well for us since we’re both happy in the end (probably because we have similar taste).

    Post # 10
    Member
    1153 posts
    Bumble bee

    FI has stronger opinions than I do. :3

    Honestly, all I care about is getting married and having pictures of it. I found the photographer of my dreams, am helping my bridesmaids find nice dresses, found the perfect bouquet, etc. but I do not give a rat’s behind about the reception – seriously! But FI has some pretty serious opinions about the reception. He wants it to look really nice, doesn’t want it to look like we’re poor (but we are, so I’m not sure how that’ll turn out). Anyway, I’m basically just harvesting ideas and leaving all the decision making to him and my mom, since they’re the two who really care about it all.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1382 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I actually gave my FI hell about this 2 days ago haha!  I want him to be more proactive in the planning process.  I voted “A little”.. I looked up all the vendors and he accompanied me to the appointments and did the negotiating (which I’m weak with).  However, if I wanted an opinion with something.. he has an opinion on everything!

    Post # 12
    Member
    9400 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    He doesn’t help much at all and I like it that way.  It’s easier to make decisions with one opinion versus multiple peoples! Smile

    I need him to do some things…like collect his addresses and he will have to help with the ceremony itself.  And probably the honeymoon and I’ll want him to help me pick some of the songs out.  Otherwise I make most of the decisions as far as vendors.  Colors, flowers and decor, the cake, DJ, photographer, schedule, invitations…I’ve done all that myself pretty much.  I did take him to my top 2 venue choices and used his input for that.  He doesn’t have any time to research like I do, he hates shopping (for anything), and he just doesn’t care as much about the things I care about.  I’m also the more organized one, so it just works out better.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m married now, but my husband cared very little about what I did during wedding planning. lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    3417 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    He says he isn’t creative and won’t know how things look until he sees them finalized. So basically it will all fall on me except for things like catering, cake, venue etc. But when it comes to colors, flowers and decor its all on me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    If he can eat it or drink it he’s all over it and has opinions. Otherwise… Eyes glaze over… I’ve never expected him to care since he is a guy and that’s so not his thing, so I don’t mind. Free reign for me! But he has offered to help assemble invitations if want. So he’s like free labor. 

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