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SO and I travel a lot because he really enjoys it (and I do too). It's nice to have that private time for ourselves. However, I don't think traveling means a whole lot in terms of how special a relationship is. If you guys have a nice time staying local, that's great!
I completely understand your reasons for not having taken a day trip alone with your SO, but I would definitely encourage trying to plan something if possible.
I figured out that I loved my SO on one such trip...or well if we want to get super technical it was in an O'Charlie's parking lot during that trip LOL. We were walking inside and they have music over the speakers in the parking lot, and he just grabbed me and started dancing. Silly, I know...but it never would have happened if we just went to the one in town.
It is also nice to just spend alone time not at eachother's house/apt/condo/domocile :)
@happyb: Well, we have nice times, for sure, but it's definitely not our choice. We would love to travel. I would be happy to go literally anywhere on this planet (given appropriate time to prepare!), and he wants to see a lot of things too. Going out in the same places over and over again has gotten a bit tired. I wish we had the means to travel, but atm we just don't.
@SouthernTulip: That's a really cute story! Ironically, I realized that I loved FI when he was traveling...and I was five hundred miles away (he was drunk with his male friends on some pier somewhere and was thoughtful enough to call me up and say "I love you" to his relatively new girlfriend in front of all of them. It was sweet).
renew your license and sign up for zipcar! it's so cheap, and you can probably sign up for free since you're a student.
We've traveled a lot together, but mostly in groups. Which is fun, but we are ready to start really doing that alone. We've done a few extended road trips alone, which is fun. We also, last year for a Christmas gift, took public transportation out of NYC, ent up state, and stayed at a B&B. It was a small town, but there was still a car service, and the owner of the B&B picked us up and dropped us off at the commuter rail. It can be done! And it was cheap too, cause we were both students at the time!
We also traveled to Philly once solely by public transportation (out to Trenton, then down to Philly) and it was only $15! Megabus is a great option too! You guys can definitley do things cheap, even just for a weekend! It's a great way to escape!
@kitzy: zipcar is a good suggestion. But in order to renew my license at this point, I have to go retake the test. Boo! I guess I could always do it, and FI has been talking for a while about getting his own license. I hate driving so I'd definitely prefer that! It is definitely something to think about.
@jenandchris: I actually HATE Megabus for a million reasons I won't get into here, but I do take BoltBus at least 2x a week! We were going to take on to DC or Boston over the summer and stay for a weekend or something, but then we had to furnish our apartment, which left us with no money. Hopefully we can work something out in the next year. Boltbus really is a great service (obviously Megabus has the same premise but I refuse to say they offer a great service based on the fact that the dozen plus times I've used them has left me with nothing but a multitude of stories about how extremely poorly run they are and how rude their staff is).
It's funny, up until we started planning our honeymoon we never realized that we had never taken an extended vacation alone.
We took plenty of extended vacations together to go see family, on vacation with family.
But as far as vacation alone it was only weekend trips.
So our honeymoon was actually our first extended alone vacation!
And it was awesome!!!
There's nothing better than waking up next to, spending the whole day and going to sleep next to every night your love and favorite person in the world!
I wish we had a better intercity train system here besides Amtrak! It would be so much easier to travel w/o a car!
Last December (we left christmas day!) Teddy and I did a 3 week trip to Brazil...we went to the Amazon...Rio de Janeiro and a little beach town. I think it definately brought us closer together because we really had to depend on each other. We had a BLAST and we still talk about it all the time!!
We also do various little weekend trips...prob once every 3 months or so...just the two of us...even if its just an hour away! we just like to get away from it all and just hang out with each other! We are actually doing one this weekend and we are super excited about it!
WITH THAT SAID....we both have good stable jobs...and work regular 9-5s. your situation is totally different...but once you are both out of school I DEFINATELY recommend it!
we LOVE to travel, so we do it quite a bit. our biggest trip was a 2 week trip to costa rica this year..rented a car, travelled around the country, and got engaged!
since we both love to travel, it's enhanced our relationship a lot. we've both travelled extensively before we met, and we talk a lot about things we've seen and places we've been to. now that we're together, we love making those memories together.
i'd say we take a day trip every 6-8 weeks..we took one last friday! we went down to a town called new braunfels and went to a festival called "wurstfest". before the festival, we went to another town and went shopping and had lunch. next month, we're hitting up the wineries that are 90 minutes away for a christmas wine tour.
You'll have plenty of time to travel but I do think traveling made us closer. I'd taken trips with other friends before but traveling with my husband (or I guess he used to be my boyfriend on some of our trips) really made me realize how right he was for me. I always have fun on trips but we just really match what we enjoy doing and have great adventures. Sometimes when I'd traveled with friends I'd feel antsy or wonder why they wanted to do certain things and be a bit frustrated and it was good to know me and him had the same travel style.
My husband and I have never done the all-inclusive thing but instead do more the choose your own adventure. We've traveled to several different countries sometimes where we know the language and sometimes not so much. We also play a lot of our trip by ear so there's definately been some interesting ummmm.....where do we go now, luckily it's always worked out. But all those little adventures I think do make you closer.
@blondeeebuckeye: Where in Costa Rica did you get engaged? I got engaged there in March!!
@jenandchris: that's when we got engaged too!! we stayed mostly in/around jaco, and we got engaged at a waterfall in the middle of nowhere, about 2 hours north of jaco :)
how random!
@Gerbera: So glad to hear you enjoyed your honeymoon! I bet it really was special since it was your first long, all-alone-time sort of trip. A plus side to the situation I'm in, I guess! And I totally agree about rail systems. It's a shame more people don't use them--the fare cost, which can so often be ridiculously high, would go down and they would build more routes, instead of gasping for breath in the state they are now (losing money! :( ).
@Ms.Teddy: That sounds so nice. I am sure that once FI and I both have stable jobs (ten years from now...thank you grad school), we will be much the same! Lots of travel. Like I said, it's definitely not that we don't want to. And I was thisclose to going to the Amazon with a student group before I transferred schools a few years back...I was really psyched for it, but it fell through. I bet you had a blast.
@blondeeebuckeye: It's funny, I traveled a lot before I met FI too! My mom had a job that took her everywhere and I always tagged along. FI's family, meanwhile, traveled a handful of times, so perhaps he doesn't miss it as much as me (howver, he has been to Europe three times, and I never have been). Plus he never took vacations with previous girlfriends, so maybe he doesn't get just how valuable it can be, thus less turmoil and no posting in distress on internet boards about our current situation. :P I love the idea of picking random, cute little places to go for daytrips. That sounds like so much fun!!
@troubled: I agree, we aren't all-inclusive sorts of people either. that's why I said I'd like to have proper time to prepare for a trip, haha. I don't think I could wing it like you do, so kudos for being that brave. I'm really glad to hear how well it's worked out for you. We both really like the idea of going to Japan for our honeymoon, but neither of us speak Japanese, and I know I'd want to have like every last day planned out so as not to worry about wasting time/vast quantities of money/dying/etc. Heh.
I traveled to Europe w/ my husband (then BF) after we graduated college. My mom was skeptical because we had been together for a little under 2 years at this point, and she said such an extended trip would make our break our relationship & she was right.
I really fell in love with him during our trip. My feelings truely developed during that trip & the same was for him.
We were gone for 6 straight weeks/ 24 hours a day, and it was tough. It is def hard relying on the other person and having 0 time apart. But even though it was VERY stressful and we got upset with each other at times, we grew so close.
It was an amazing opprotunity to have that experience with him and we still look back on the trip and talk about it all the time. It was amazing! And so amazing to experience it with the person you love!!
We have taken trips together, but not alone. The only time we've travelled is on his family vacation since they are out of state. We will be travelling alone for 4 weeks in about a month! EKKKKK! I've been thinking bout if we will want to slap each other or if it goes wonderfully. Hopefully the latter... =)
We have traveled together, extensively, over the 5 years we have been together. We also have lived together the entire 5 years we have been together, so I wasn't really that hung up about travelling together to "enhance" anything about our relationship. I will say that being a bad traveller is a deal breaker for me, since I love love love to travel. But since we both lived abroad and had backpacked around for extended periods before we got together, I was pretty confident he'd be fine.
I had to explain to my guy that it did not count as a "date" or romantic if he invites five other people along. He just didn't get why I didn't consider our trip to Savannah a date. Maybe because we had another couple and a single friends along with us? True, we had our own hotel room, but all we did there was sleep, shower, and change. He didn't even get that going to a (sci-fi/action/horror) movie with two to seven other people doesn't count as a date or remotely romantic, and it STILL doesn't count if the hordes of people he invited didn't show.
We did go to a wedding, but I don't think it counts, as we were with his extended family for all but the first night (which he had planned on spending with his family, because he somehow thought a rehearsal dinner was for out-of-town guests. I tried to explain what a rehearsal dinner was, but he didn't get it. He put the father of the bride in an awkward spot with that,)
@AnnieAAA: That sounds like quite a leap! So your relationship was pretty casual throughout college and then you decided to travel for weeks together and test it? Brave! So happy it worked out and you made lots of amazing memories. :) I honestly don't know if I could image traveling for more than three weeks, period. I feel like I'd fall out of reality and lose my mind or something, haha! I'm so impressed with people who make looooong vacations work so well.
@pinkshoes: Yay! Good luck! Fingers crossed for the latter to happen. :D
@Miss Peach Tree: We have pretty much lived together, except during the winter, since we got together, and I love it and feel very close to my FI...but I think there is something special about seeing new things and experiencing situations outside of the daily take-out-the-trash, do-the-laundry life of sharing a residence, I guess! I'm glad I'm not dating an experienced traveler with an idea of what makes a "good" traveler, though...I'm so anal, I'd probably fail the test, haha.
@cyneswith: Are you "Never traveled alone" #3? Gosh this poll makes me happy to see I'm not totally unique in this. MY FI is kind of the same. When I complain that we haven't gone on a date lately, he'll be like, "Well hey, we went to Chipotle with (insert names of my best friend and her boyfriend AND her roommate) last week! " And I'll just be like, doh!
Oh it wasn't that it was completely unplanned. I make print outs of of tons of phone numbers and hotels/places to visit/things to do and call or email ahead to make sure that hotels/hostels in the area aren't busy at the time we're traveling. I also have printouts of bus schedules and other types of transport if we miss the bus. The only this is like you we were both in grad school when we met so were just paid these piddly stipends and so we wanted to make sure we made the most of our trip. A lot of times traveling when we get to places we find much better deals then we could have online. And also like to be flexible about where all our stops are.
But you see a $250 plane ticket to Puerto Rico, where no passports are required and your cell phone still works, you've got to take it. We packed camping gear so we had to pay like $10/night to stay at campgrounds. Plus, we take any bump we can get when we fly so we ended up getting free plane tickets to Costa Rica. And again once you're in Costa Rica you can take $3 busses and stay in like $10-20 pp little hostels. They're not fancy but they're right on the beach so who cares.
Traveling alone with a partner for more than a weekend away is one of my necessary “test it before you buy it” tests before getting real serious with someone. Like living together – I think being in close quarters, dealing with things/situations outside of your normal comfort zones and normal comfort activities is a nice test of how you work together under stress.
If you don't already, you should check out JetBlue’s travel deals. Right now, on their website are deals from JFK – under $60/pp (each way) to Burlington, VT. That could be a fun weekend trip away. They also usually have good deals between JFK and Boston, and DC and other locations. You can also take the DownEaster train from Penn Station to Boston for about $160/pp, round trip. Not totally cheap, but pretty cheap and something different since its a train! :)
We traveled together to serve in Africa twice before we got married. The first time, we had been dating for 6 months, and it was on that trip that we realized we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other. It really helped our relationship to see each other in extremely challenging conditions and to see how we would travel together. It taught us a lot about the other person.
We travel alone a lot. Travelling is something we both like to do and are trying to do as much as possible before we have children, after which we'll change the type of travel but we'll still be on the move!
I can definitely say it has enhanced our relationship from the start. We traveled abroad together two months into dating, and I got really sick at the end of the trip. Seeing how he took care of me in my less dignified moments, only two months in the relationship, showed me much about his character and how I was lucky to be with him.
I voted for the most popular 4 options as well :) We've been to New York, San Francisco, Hawaii, Jamaica, Paris, Turkey and Ireland together. He proposed to me while we were in Turkey. Vacations definitely brought us closer, made us experience difference things together and grow as a couple, and have given us some of our fondest memories. I wouldn't say your relationship is lacking because you haven't had a chance to do this yet, it just gives you more things to look forward to. It seems you're both very young and have your whole lives ahead of you. One of our favorite songs with my husband is Best Is Yet To Come by Sinatra, and I would say it's definitely true for you and your SO.
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I feel so sad when I think about the fact that FI and I have never even so much as gone on a daytrip alone with one another. We're students and super-busy as well as broke, plus neither of us currently drive--my license is long expired because I always take public transit now, plus a car cost too much for me to maintain, and he never even learned to drive (he grew up in NYC)--so we just have never been able to make it. We've been on great vacations with one another's families, but the most we've ever done alone together is gone on dates together to the cities we spend all our time in (Philly, where our school is, and New York, where he lives and I go every week for various reasons). It's kind of weird, because I went on so many day trips with previous boyfriends who I wasn't nearly so serious with, just because they had access to a car and I wasn't at this kill-your-soul-with-homework college that I have been since I transferred a few years ago (I am spending six, count 'em, SIX years in undergrad!). I am sad that I haven't been able to experience new places and make those sorts of memories with FI, at least not to the same extent.
I guess I just want to know if I'm totally alone in never having been able to go on a trip alone with FI. Do you feel like your relationship evolved after taking trips with your SO? Do you feel like it wouldn't be the same had you not taken these trips? Do you love to travel with SO? Do you do it a lot? Or is there someone out there who is currently engaged to a man they've never traveled with alone (deceased persons who lived in times when it was unacceptable for a woman to travel with a man without a chaperone do not count). Just tell me anything you want about your experiences and how you feel about traveling with your beloved, basically.