(Closed) How much help is too much?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think the bride you should ask is your friend!  Check in with her and see what she needs.  When we are in the idea-gather stage of planning, I think most ideas, opinions and suggestions are welcome.  But as decisions are made and vendors are booked, it may mean more to have a friend that is unconditionally supportive and reassuring.  Ask your friend what she needs and how you can help.  I’m sure she would be happy to know how muh you care!

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

 I definitely think you should just ask your friend. Tell her that you love talking to her about her wedding, and that you’re excited to help her as much as she wants or needs. But also let her know that you don’t want to overstep your bounds as a bridesmaid, and give her an out: tell her you don’t want to be pushy, and to feel free to tell you to mind your own business if she feels the need!

Post # 5
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am one of those with the opposite kind of BMs and I always want to talk about the wedding, but I know they don’t. I would love more help and input, but I do know that it can get annoying, especially if someone keeps insisting on something I have already said I don’t care for. One of my friends is very helpful, but can get a little pushy at times and I feel bad telling her I don’t always like her ideas.

Post # 6
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

One tell when you are giving her all those wonderful ideas ask her if she needs help with anything in particular?  E.g. looking for a cute pair of shoes, cake designs, flower designs, etc.  Maybe she’ll tell you what she’s looking for and you can help her in that way.  She’s lucky to have you with your super helpfullness!

Post # 8
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would have loved if one of my BMs was willing to talk all weddings all the time.  As long as she didn’t get annoyed if I didn’t follow all of her suggestions I would have relished having someone to talk to about all of it.

I actually tried to hold me tongue and not be that chick who could talk about nothing but herself and her wedding.

Post # 9
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Personally, I love talking about my wedding so I wouldn’t mind the input.  I realize not everyone is as focused on my wedding as I am, so I try to minimize the amount of time I spend talking about it with family/friends.  I wouldn’t mind if my bridesmaids were a bit more involved though!  I have one who has given her opinion on a few things, and while I don’t always like her ideas, I appreciate the thought and effort on her part.  She usually prefaces the comment with things like, "I’m not sure if this works with what you are planning, but I saw/heard…." or "I saw/heard this and thought it may be interesting to you, even if it’s not exactly something you want…"  This way her ideas/opinions come across more as being offered rather than forced on me.  

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