- 4 years ago
I’m a regular poster, going anonymous because this is financially sensitive.
I posted about 4 months ago about a big life/career choice I had to make – take a much better paying job in the small town I grew up in where my family is, or stay at my current job in a city I LOVE but make much less. My fiance and I weighed the pluses and minuses of each option very carefully, and ultimately decided to move. If I stay at this new job 20 years (which would make me 51), I would make approximately $5 million more (pre-tax) than I would if I stayed at my current job for that amount of time, all things staying as they are.
Well, we closed on our new house in the smaller town Friday, and I am feeling borderline depressed. We spent the weekend at the new house sleeping on an air mattress (we don’t actually move in until the end of September, 2 days after our wedding…). All the neighbors we met are super nice, and the house is nice too (not fancy, but about 3x larger than our current house, big wooded lot, lake access). My fiance had a blast because he caught lots of fish. We rented a boat and spent yesterday on the lake, and that was beautiful. BUT, I am crying all the time. I just feel nauseous and like my throat is closing in and I keep having these panicky thoughts of “oh my god, why did we choose this???” I am going to miss the city I live in now SO much, miss my friends, miss my co-workers, miss the restaurants, bars, shopping, culture, and even just the nice city planning… This weekend made me feel so dark inside, because it is very slim pickings for all of those things in the new town…
My fiance is excited (it’s his first home he officially owns – our current home is mine from before I met him), and he keeps saying we’ll be OK and really happy there. But I just feel pannicky ad sick. I’m sure it will be better when we have furniture (we had an air mattress and 2 glasses with us this weekend, that’s it), and our pets, and my parents around, and the whole house cleaned and organzied, and once I start working I will have that to distract me and to introduce me to new people… For the record, it was primarily my decision to move.
But right now I can’t help but feel that we should’ve stayed put, we make enough money here, we could’ve stayed in our little house and been OK, we wouldn’t have had the stress of selling it and buying a new one and moving 2 days after our wedding, and having to start new jobs… We could’ve looked into that in a year or 2 maybe if we were unhappy. But we were afraid an opportunity like this wouldn’t present itself again.
I guess $5 million is a lot of money (especially in a town where everything costs way less), but right now I don’t feel like i’ts enough to pay for my heartache 🙁