(Closed) How much is too much?????

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

If you do not want to put too much pressure on your girls for shower, bach party & DW, maybe your mom & your mother in law can host a shower for family? Even a nice backyard one?

Post # 4
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I like MsTargaryen’s advice! Another option would be to have your girls arrive at the DW a few days prior to the wedding (say, Wednesday for a Saturday affair) and have a GNO at the destination. That could save them a few bucks/extra airfare without interfering with the actual wedding day. 

Or, you could go through with having separate parties for each, and just be understanding if a BM can’t make the trip to some of the events. 

Post # 5
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

So, technically even an at home wedding bride shouldn’t “expect” a shower or bachelorette party, but everyone knows that given tradition it’s likely. Given that your wedding is a destination wedding I think it will really depend on the financial situation of your ladies. Being your bridesmaid will be likely be more expensive than is typical: plane, hotel, dress, accessories, time off work, etc, for everyone just not just one or a few. Therefore, I would imagine that they may take you out for drinks and fun the night before your wedding, when you’re all at your destination anyway, but I don’t know if they would be able to afford to throw anything else. And of course it’s not required. 🙂

 

HTH!

Post # 6
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I can only speak from experience here. I was a BM in a destination wedding and after the cost of attending the wedding, hair, makeup, dress etc I was so broke. The bride wanted a large shower/bachelorette party and it just was not possible, I had to tell her that and it was so awkward. I threw her a small family party/dinner party, her family was NOT happy about this and did not attend. Of course no one else wanted to throw anything because they said it was “my job” I still feel like crap about the whole thing and it makes me awkward and not want a shower for myself because I feel like I will be judged for not throwing her the one she wanted. If they chose to and can afford to have a shower for you that’s great but don’t put too much pressure on them, destination weddings can be so costly for people.

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