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How much is too much?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Is $300 too much to ask a bridesmaid to spend on a dress.
    No, it's expensive but could be worth the cost for the right dress. : (11 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, it's way too much, I would never ask someone to pay that. : (85 votes)
    83 %
    Other, explained below. : (6 votes)
    6 %
  •  
    1.
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    Newbee
    nycbridetobe    8/28/10   NYC

    How much is too much to ask a bridesmaid to spend on a dress?  How much did your bridesmaids' dresses cost?   

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    GirlWithARing    September 5, 2010   Living in NYC, marrying in Philadelphia

    I don't think there's one right answer. Are your bridesmaids students or are they financially stable? Are they traveling far to the wedding and throwing you a weekend-long bachelorette party? It definitely depends on their all-in costs for the wedding and their financial situations. 

    For me personally, all of the girls are financially stable. Their only expenses will be dress, shoes (~$50), hair (~$50) and two nights in a hotel ($60/night). However, I don't want being in my wedding to be burden, so I chose dresses for $99. 

     

     
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    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    Mine were $140.

     
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    Newbee
    nycbridetobe    8/28/10   NYC

    Maybe this helps.  I found dresses I love for around $300.  Would you ever ask someone to pay that much?

     
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Holy smokes $300 is too much....I'm financially stable and i'ts still too much. Mine were $20 apiece, but I paid for them. I also paid their hair and makeup and told them to pick out their own shoes within some guidelines.

     
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    Bumble bee
    otb    December 31, 2009   Chicago, IL

    Mine were $180, and they needed to be rush ordered, so my mom and I paid for that.  They can wear whatever black closed-toed shoes they want.  Jewelry is whatever, as long as it's classy.  I made them hairpieces and capes as their gift.  They will have to pay $30 for make-up, but I am paying for them to stay in the hotel two nights.  I figured since the costs are a little more spread out it isn't such a burden.  The $180 was in August, whatever alterations they need and then the $30 day of the wedding.  I agree with PP that it depends on your girls, how many are in school?  Are they financially stable?  If you have a bunch of students, it might make more sense to be a little less expensive in your choices.  I tried to find a dress for less than $200 that the girls would look good in, and that could be altered easliy into a cute shorter dress.  I have even offered to alter the dress for the girls for free after the wedding if they wish.

    ETA: I would probably not ask my girls to fork over $300 just for the dress. 

     
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    Sugar bee
    hilsy85    September 2010  

    It totally depends on whether it's too much FOR THEM. For instance, one of my BMs would be totally willing to spend 300 or more on a dress if I loved it and she loved it. However, for my other BMs, they just can't afford that. Would you be willing to contribute some money toward the purchase of the dress to bring it within a price range they can afford?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Minutiae    May 2011  

    It always depends.

    For me, a student without a job, I could comfortably spend about $50 for a BM dress, but no professional hair, makeup, hotel expenses, or matching accessories. Such is life.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Jacqi    February 28, 2009  

    It depends on what kind of people your BMs are and what they usually spend on clothing. If they would normally go out and buy a new dress for a wedding they were a guest at and spend $150 or so, then I don't think $300 is too much for them. But if they are more frugal and only buy stuff on sale and at TJMaxx, then $300 is too much.

     
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    $300 is too much. I have always paid about $200 and that's what I'm capping it at for my BMs, one of whom I know can't afford to spend that much so I'm going to help her out with the dress. I really tried to find something for less than that but since they wanted to wear different styles to suit their body types and I want a specific color (tealish/peacock blue) and I've found in my searching that that color isn't that easy to come by, I had to go with Aria dresses which are around $200. I liked other dresses better, and style-wise so did my BMs, but we agreed it was too much. I hate having them spend $200 even but I can easily rationalize it by saying that that's what I've always paid.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    My girls paid $190 for their dresses (including tax and shipping). I told them to just pick any dress in any style at any price in one specific color, and they all ended up picking the same one.

    I think that as long as the girls are 100 percent okay with it, and the dress is one that they can either wear again or it's so unique that it's worth the price, it's okay with me. BUT, everyone's financial situation is different. I would take into account other expenses they might have like shoes (will you require they all get the same ones, or can they look for a bargain/wear a pair they already have?), hair/make-up (or  can they do their own), travel expenses/hotel rooms, etc.

    I usually say that for girls who are out of school and financially stable anything under $300 would be fine with me, but for girls who are still in school or just starting out, I would try to keep it to around $100 or $150.

     
    12.
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    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    I think its a lot.  I think $200 would be my limit.

     
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    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    I guess it depends on the girls but for me, $200 is the very most I would pay/ask my girls to pay.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    i think that's way too high, just having been a bridesmaid. $150 would be my max, considering they have to pay for so much other stuff to be in the wedding. my girls got lucky, my mom paid for my sil's dress which was $112, and my sister's dress was only $30.

     
    15.
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    Honey bee
    misspug      

    i agree with what some others have said--it really depends on your set of friends, their financial situation, and other circumstances (are you paying for hair/makeup, lodging, travel or anything else).  personally that price seems high to me, but i don't typically buy dresses for myself in that price range (i would love to, though!).  if your bridesmaids regularly spend that amount on their own wardrobe, then maybe it's not as big of an issue.  good luck!

     
    16.
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    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    I does depend on where you BM's are in their lives.  If they're all financially stable it might be alright.  If not, that would be a difficult amount to come up with for a dress, especially one they'll most likely wear only once.  I decided to make sure the dress I chose was under $150.  I think that's reasonable.  And the dress only ended up being $120, no one minded at all.

     
    17.
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    Busy bee
    prettyflowers    September 2010  

    $300 sounds like a lot to me and I make a good enough salary... unless your friends are making big bucks AND like to spend money on expensive clothes, I think it's a little high.

     
    18.
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    Newbee
    kristenlomond    April 26, 2010   Alberta, Canada

    It is a little much... But this depends on how financially well off your bridesmaids are. My friend asked us to pay $300 for our dresses about 3 years ago and I was just out of university and starting work so I didnt have much money. I can remember thinking to myself holy gawd. My dresses were $189 or $207... I am giving them a choice of which one they want. And I am paying for their hair and buying them $100 gifts cause I feel kind of bad.

     
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    Busy bee
    Miss Bravo    October 31, 2009   LA

    $300 is way too much.  Especially with the economy the way it is and the issues in the world.  I paid for my BM dresses and hair and makeup were both done in-house.  :) Thank goodness for stalking style mags and mastering hair and makeup!  However, my wedding was a destination wedding, so the BMs all paid to get to the location :)

     
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    I agree with others that it depends, but overall this seems WAY too expensive. 

    Mine are $100-$150.  In fact one of my BMs just got hers on sale for $80.

     
    21.
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    Helper bee
    zebracakes    May 1, 2011   VA

    It really does depend.  I'm trying to stay under $200 for the dress.  I know they will still have to buy shoes, makeup, etc.

     
    22.
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    Busy bee
    meganmp1    January 24, 2009   Seattle, WA

    I think that in general asking bridesmaids to pay for dresses that you pick out is too much.  If they pick them out, sure, but (to me! just my opinion!  Smile) it is just not right to ask them to pay for something that THEY are wearing because YOU ask them to that is almost a 100% chance that they will never, ever wear again, despite what is thought.

     
    23.
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    trailmix      

    I think 300 is a tad high...If you're super set on the dress, maybe you can stalk it a bit and see if it goes on sale or try to negotiate a price with a bridal salon, depending on how many you're ordering? For me, I think $250 would be the most I'd be willing to pay for a BM dress...But like others have said, if your girls are ok with that, then it doesn't matter!

     
    24.
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    Busy bee
    lampshade127    March 27   Houston

    Mine were around $170 (after tax) so I paid $20ish per dress. I didn't want my friends to have to pay more than $150 for a dress.

    I think $300 is WAY too much. I would say that it does depend on where you are from and who your bridesmaids are as to what is appropriate to ask.

     
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    Busy bee
    peanutlovespumpkin    9-18-10   Los Angeles

    The first time I was a bridesmaid the bride picked out dresses that were $350 after shipping, then another $50 for alterations.  I shelled out $400 for an unflattering dress I will never wear again, and even though she is a good friend I still cringe when I think of that wasted money.  Chances are your bridesmaids won't want to tell you straight up "$300 is ridiculous" because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but trust me that it is.  I completely understand if you love the dress and it totally fits your vision; in that case you should subsidize half of the dress and just factor that into your budget.

     
    26.
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    @nycbridetobe: Could you include a link to the dress that you love?  Maybe someone could suggest something similar for a more affordable price.

     
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    Newbee
    nycbridetobe    8/28/10   NYC

    @hotchildinthecity: great idea!!

    http://www.ciarla.com/

    This is a link to the website, it wont let me link to the exact page,  but if you go to the website and look under collections, bridesmaids, it's the bella collection.  I like all 3 of them (sophia, nina and pia).  My plan was to let the girls chose any of those 3 dresses in either sunset or fountain.

    Anyone have any ideas where I can get less expensive versions of similar dresses? I like the idea of different dresses in the same color.

     
    28.
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    Sugar bee
    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    my girls picked out their own dresses, so they stayed within their own comfort zone financially.  I would guess that most of the dresses were between 30 - 100 dollars.  Mostly in the $50, on sale at Macy's type of range.

     
    29.
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I think somebody could make those for FAR cheaper! they look pretty simple to me!

     
    30.
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    Someone just posted one similar to that one shoulder one from Etsy.  Hopefully someone will remember what I'm talking about and re-post.

     
    31.
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    Buzzing bee
    cinemaparadiso    July 16, 2015  

    No way on earth would I spend $300 on those dresses, sorry! They are cute, but not THAT cute. I suggest you do a screen capture of the dresses or find them in a store and take pics, and then get someone on etsy or a talented seamstress you know to make them for you. Good luck!

     
    32.
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    Busy bee
    Miss Sparklespaniel    November 13, 2010   VIC, Australia

    Another thing that you have to consider is that the cost doesn't always stop with just the dress. I recently paid $250 for a BM dress for my bestie's wedding - but myself and the other BM's all had to pay for alterations to the dresses (taking straps up or having them taken in) which then bumped the price up to $290 - which was A LOT for us considering that all of us were students at the time! Also, while one of us chose the dress we all had the same dress and it's very "Bridesmaidy" so it's not something I'll wear again! Add to that the cost of shoes, jewellery, make up, hair, wedding/shower presents, possible travel or accomodation expenses etc and being a bridesmaid can be a costly affair!!!

    In my opinion if you're asking you're girls to spend that much they should at the very least have a good say in what they're spending it on!

     
    33.
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    Blushing bee
    CourtneyCrocker    January 16, 2010   orange county,ca

    Well, mine were $240 plux tax so basically $272.00 plus alterations. My girls could afford it but I still felt bad. I wanted to stay under 200 but one of them said "Court, pick out the dresses you love and don't worry about it...it's really okay!" So I went for it and I am SO happy I did! They are BEAUTIFUL! I wish I had one! :) So I say go for it if they can afford it too!

     
    34.
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    Bumble bee
    rainbow    January 1, 2011   Tampa

    $300 is way too much, in my opinion, and we're financially stable. I wouldn't never ask my BMs to buy a dress over $200. And if I fell in love with a dress over $200, I would pay the balance.

    edit: The dresses are beautiful, but there's no way I'd spend $300 on them. I've seen styles similar to those elsewhere for less $. I'd say either keep looking or pay the balance.

     
    35.
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    Honey bee
    ccranetobe    August 14, 2010  

    300 Bucks?? I CURRUMBAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! way to much, sorry!

    I felt bad even askng them to pay for their bridesmaid dresses! I had a friend who had to pay 270 dollars for her bridesmaid dress, pay 90 dollars for shoes, went on a hens weekend, had to contribute for fuel, accomodation. Organised things for the bridal shower.  all in all being a bridesmaid set her back about 800 dollars.

    She said never again.. I kept that in mind when i went shopping with the girls.

    I had asked the girls to budget a maximum of 200 dollars for dress and shoes and the girls were happy with that. We went shopping and found all the girls bridesmaid dresses 50 dollars each (on sale!!), really good quality red silk and then they all found shoes for 50 dollars.

    In the end, because it ended being quite cheap, i paid for the girls dresses and shoes. whatever works, sometimes you dont have to pay the exorbant price for quality.

     

     
    36.
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    msbuttons    May 30, 2010   Palm Harbor, FL

    Hmmm it depends...on how much more you're asking them to spend on other things (hair, makeup, shoes, accessories). If you plan to pay for a lot of these things for them, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but personally I would be kind of upset as a BM if I had to pay for a dress, plus hair, accessories, travel/accommodations, etc. etc.. I am not made of money, and it would be a pretty big financial hardship to invest $500+ on attending a wedding when all is said and done!

     
    37.
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    Buzzing bee
    veganglam    January 5, 2013   Philadelphia; Wedding in NYC

    meh. i've thought about this and here's what i plan to do. as a luxe addict, i don't want someone to be wearing a cheapo dress if they're one of the focal points of my wedding. sorry. i want all of my BM's to be in the EXACT same color but am willing to allow them to go nuts with the style, so i'm hoping to find a designer who does high-quality dresses in lots of shapes and fabrics.  i'll tell my BM's to let me know what they can pay and we'll pick up the rest.  if i stick with the BM's i think i'll have, this won't be a big deal, i know them all well enough that it won't make them uncomfortable.  i mean, we don't have an unlimited budget, but if it's the difference between an ill-fitting polyester dress in some god-awful clashing shade of my color and a beautiful dress in all of the pictures with my bridesmaids, we'll shell out an extra few hundred.  as for getting the dress made, well, i just don't know any talented seamstresses and there's enough time-consuming work in planning a wedding.  just my priorities.

     
    38.
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    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    I do think it depends on your group of friends and their financial situation.  Personally, I"d be upset if I were asked to spend that much and I would never expect my friends to pay that much for dresses.  If you really have your heart set on those dresses, then maybe you could pay for a portion of the dress to help them out?

     
    39.
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    Honey bee
    krissycake    November 21, 2009   orlando,fl

    One of my BMs said the $125 dress I originally picked was too high (we switched to a $60 one, and we paid for them), so it depends on your situation, of course, but $300 is a bit unreasonable IMHO.

     
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    Blushing bee
    wagamama    9/19/2009   Seattle

    Oh..I think $300 is a lot to ask for someone to pay for a dress that they'll only wear once. Would it be possible if you were able to subsidize the cost a bit. I think anything over $200 is a lot to ask and my friends and I are all in our 30's and quite financially stable.  Could you find a similar dress at a lower cost?

     

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