Post # 1
So this is sort of a random casual question.
My SO and I have been talking a bit about marriage/engagement lately, and he agreed to look at rings I like online (but I definitely get the feeling that he’s not ready to be engaged for a little while yet). I showed him one, which cost about $2700. He said, “YIKES! That’s expensive!”
We have pretty modest means (he’s a part-time editor and a builder, and I’m in school part-time), so $2700 is a fair chunk to us. More for me than for him though, because he makes pretty good money by the standards of where we live.
I know I should just ask HIM what he thinks is a reasonable amount to spend on a gold ring with a single moissanite or colored gemstone (non-diamond). And I intend to when I’m ready to talk about it with him (although I’m sure I want to be with him forever, I’m still figuring out what I think/want with engagment, timescale, what exactly that step means to me). BUT out of curiosity, what do you bees think, when someone has that reaction to that particular sum of money? I think he might have expected under $1000 because we both feel that spending TOO much is a little silly when we could invest it in finishing the house or something.
Post # 3
I really think it is a personal decision for each couple. It would make more sense to me to spend that money on something else. I too am a student so I understand the dilemma. Go with what you can afford, it is the feelings that count, not the ring!
Post # 4
I didn’t vote because I think it should be whatever the couple agrees on, but I *personally* think that’s a lot of money to spend on a ring. We agreed on something considerably less (around the $100 mark) because that was what we wanted to spend since it wasn’t important to us, but I don’t think it should be that low an amount for other couples who a) have more money they want to spend on it and b) for whom the ring is a very important symbol.
While asking him what he thinks is reasonable to spend is a great step forward, keep in mind that if he’d never looked at the prices of jewellery, stones, etc than he might not have realistic expectations. I had no idea that any non-celebrity might spend more than $1000-$2000 on an engagement ring before coming on the Bee, to be honest. You might want to ask him to look around online/in store on his own to get some ideas and then come back to you with ideas about what he wants the ring to look like, what he thinks is reasonable to spend, etc. Otherwise, your SO might be like me and give you a really low-ball amount :p
Post # 5
Like it’s been said, it’s a person-by-person thing. I do think that’s a lot of money to spend on a ring. Adding on top of that a wedding band for you and him…and that’s a lot of money. I don’t believe in the three-months of salary price of an engagement ring. Mine was not quite $600.00 and I was aghast that my Fi spent that! I just wouldn’t want a lot of money put into it.
Post # 6
@Creiddylad: it depends on the couple and the ring
if he thinks 2700 is too much for an engagement ring then you should be looking at other options besides diamond–there are plenty
If you’re spending 2k or less on a diamond ring you may not find anything you’re happy with
Post # 7
I don’t feel that I could vote on this because I think it’s a personal decision for each couple. I wouldn’t recommend going into tons of debt for the ring, but if you like it and you can swing it, then go for it!
Post # 8
Only you and Fi can answer that for yourselves. Everyone has different financial situations, priorities, preferences and values. Good luck.
Post # 9
It really is up to whatever he/both of you deem appropriate.
Here is a thread about how much a bunch of different bees rings cost:
Taboo Question? How much did your ring cost?
Post # 10
Pretty much agree with what PP have said – it’s entirely dependent upon the couple. For me and my FH, $2700 is a small amount to spend on a ring. But for others, that could be a huge amount. It just depends on your financial situation, your disposable income, etc.
Post # 11
Totally subjective. He might just be having sticker shock right now and might not be aware of what rings usually cost (I know a lot of guys who think originally that they should only be around $1000 and then realize that the rings they envisioned would bring them above that price tag).
Give him some time to look around, he might get used to that price and realize it’s not too much for him. Then again, he might stick with his initial price in mind. Just give him some time, talk it out, and come to your own agreement about what is “too much” for you.
Post # 12
I think whatever he can pay cash for is enough. Don’t use credit to buy an ering!
Post # 13
My Fiance makes ALOT. And according to that pay scale crap thing 3 months bull… says I shoulda got 10-15K ring. Guess what he did spend? 3K it’s what he was comfrotable with, what he wanted to get me, what he felt was a goot price point regardless of his income.
Did I think he could have spent more? yes, I know he could but he didn’t want to, and since it’s his gift to me- the choice was 100% his, and we left it at that.
Post # 14
I agree with the other bees…my husband thought all my rings were too much but he is a cheap skate but he bought them anyways even tho he had the same reaction that your bf had. In the end if he proposes he will be making the choice.
Post # 15
I think it completely depends on your financial situation and personal taste. For me, I knew I didn’t want a big sparkly ring, because I am not a girly-girl and I know for a fact I would probably damage it (which I did…….). I did have some comments from friends on the (small) size of the ring, but when I asked them if they thought a big stone suited me, they all replied no!
Do whatever you (and FI!!!) are comfortable with.
Post # 16
My Fi had a bit of sticker shock and the ring I showed him was $950. It wasn’t that he didn’t think it was worth it, I think it just makes things REAL when they see the prices the first time on a ring you love. In the end he understood that was a very reasonable price for the ring since it was worth $2500 or so if we had it made new (it is a vintage piece from the 30’s) and he was like “what’s $950 when our relationship is worth so much more?” All in all it worked out, but I think it is just initial shock.
Remember we have been thinking about this and the price and such but most of the time they haven’t as much until you show them and start the discussions. We are prepared for ring prices, but often they may not be.