Post # 1
I started addressing wedding invitations this past weekend.
I am not sure why (I don’t remember discussing this with the person who custom made our invitations) but I DON’T have inner envelopes. Just one envelope that the entire suite goes inside.
We don’t have a ton of single guests. In fact, we probably have 5-6 out of 50. For them I think I did it fine: Mr. John Doe or Ms. Betty Doe
The rest are married/live with their significant other therefor will receive one invitation to their address.
I addressed all married couples as:
Mr. and Mrs. John and Betty Doe INSTEAD OF Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.
WHYYYYYY didn’t I look to see what the correct way to do it is.. I just assumed.
Is this going to make me look like an idiot? Ha
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
People tend to really overthink envelopes. Unless you’re writing,
“Mr. John Doe and that skank Natalie I guess”
“Dr. Jenna Doe, M.D. and all her kids”
then no one is going to care that much.
The envelope is going in the trash within 30 seconds of being received anyway.
Post # 3
Please don’t worry about them. I would be happy enough just to get one!
Post # 4
I personally would appreciate the way you labeled them. I HATE it when people write Mr. and Mrs. hisfirstname Last Name. I have a different last name than my husband, but even if I had taken his name, I still have my OWN first name!
Post # 5
I really don’t think that it will matter too much.
Post # 6
thehappiestbridetobe: I think you’re fine. I would assume that you are being progressive, not an idiot.
Post # 7
Including the woman’s name is totally fine. I actually prefer it that way.
Post # 8
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
When I get married I am keeping my name, and my ‘Ms’, but even if I weren’t… I would assume anything addressed to Mrs Fiancé’s Full Name was from either a marketing company or someone over 80. It’s not done in my circle, you get to retain your identity as an individual after marriage. I wouldn’t lose sleep unless you’re sending this out to members of the aristocracy (with no sense of humour).
Post # 8
I don’t get it…what is wrong with how you addressed them? I’d be annoyed if I was simply my husband’s Mrs. I do actually have my own identity.
Post # 10
To be honest, I did it that way because it’s the way that made sense in my head and it’s what I wanted. It’s how I addressed our save the dates as well. Then for shits and giggles I looked up invitiation etiquette and saw NO examples of how I did it.. So I felt stupid.
I really don’t give a crap and it’s too late now, I think i’m just having a moment where I wish I had done it the other way lol.
Post # 11
I prefer having the woman’s name on there too. Mr and Mrs John Doe seems so antiquated. And frankly, no one who receives your wedding invitation is going to notice or care. And then they’ll throw the envelope in the trash (or recycle it, hopefully). So I woudn’t stress too much about it.
Post # 12
Audrey2_sings: Thanks for the reassurance 🙂
Post # 13
I think both ways are now considered correct etiquette wise, except when writing both names it should be “Mr and Mrs Jane and John Doe”
Basically etiquette rules are that a man is never separated from his last name, so wives names always come first.
Post # 14
thehappiestbridetobe: I get silently cranky if I receive something addressed to Mr and Mrs DH’s first name last name. So I would like your invitations! I find it very antiquated! I’m cool with Mr and Mrs DH’s lastname tho.
Post # 15
thehappiestbridetobe: I think you’ve done it the right way! Many women object to being “Mrs. John Doe”. I suggest they would easily outnumber people who are bothered by the fact that you haven’t kept to this old (in my opinion outdated) etiquette rule.
EDIT: And I’ve never heard of the rule that you don’t separate a man’s name from his surname, so I think you’re ok on that score too.