How much of an idiot am I..

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

People tend to really overthink envelopes. Unless you’re writing,

“Mr. John Doe and that skank Natalie I guess”


“Dr. Jenna Doe, M.D. and all her kids”


then no one is going to care that much.


The envelope is going in the trash within 30 seconds of being received anyway.


Post # 3
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Please don’t worry about them. I would be happy enough just to get one!

Post # 4
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I personally would appreciate the way you labeled them.  I HATE it when people write Mr. and Mrs. hisfirstname Last Name. I have a different last name than my husband, but even if I had taken his name, I still have my OWN first name!

Post # 5
7292 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I really don’t think that it will matter too much. 

Post # 7
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Including the woman’s name is totally fine.  I actually prefer it that way.

Post # 8
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

When I get married I am keeping my name, and my ‘Ms’, but even if I weren’t… I would assume anything addressed to Mrs Fiancé’s Full Name was from either a marketing company or someone over 80. It’s not done in my circle, you get to retain your identity as an individual after marriage. I wouldn’t lose sleep unless you’re sending this out to members of the aristocracy (with no sense of humour).

Post # 8
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t get it…what is wrong with how you addressed them? I’d be annoyed if I was simply my husband’s Mrs. I do actually have my own identity.

Post # 11
2138 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I prefer having the woman’s name on there too.  Mr and Mrs John Doe seems so antiquated.  And frankly, no one who receives your wedding invitation is going to notice or care.  And then they’ll throw the envelope in the trash (or recycle it, hopefully).  So I woudn’t stress too much about it.

Post # 13
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I think both ways are now considered correct etiquette wise, except when writing both names it should be “Mr and Mrs Jane and John Doe”

Basically etiquette rules are that a man is never separated from his last name, so wives names always come first.


Post # 14
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

thehappiestbridetobe:  I get silently cranky if I receive something addressed to Mr and Mrs DH’s first name last name. So I would like your invitations! I find it very antiquated! I’m cool with Mr and Mrs DH’s lastname tho.

Post # 15
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

thehappiestbridetobe:  I think you’ve done it the right way! Many women object to being “Mrs. John Doe”. I suggest they would easily outnumber people who are bothered by the fact that you haven’t kept to this old (in my opinion outdated) etiquette rule.

EDIT: And I’ve never heard of the rule that you don’t separate a man’s name from his surname, so I think you’re ok on that score too.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors