Post # 1
I’ve been hearing a lot of discussion lately about what is and is not appropriate to keep after you get married. I just heard about a couple where the man has a box in his office for each of his exes and keeps every lovenote, photo, even old wedding albums and videos, in a prime location in their new home. Is this okay, not okay, what is and what isn’t?
Post # 3
URM that’s a little overboard imo. A pic or two maybe, or facebook tagged ones, but boxes of videos and lovenotes and wedding albums? No.
Post # 4
I have a few photos, but no way did I keep lovenotes, gifts, or any of that stuff.
Post # 5
I have a shoe box of mementos for each year of high school at my moms. It does include notes and other random stuff from bfs as well as just friends. Whenever I end up with those again I dont intend to get rid of them. I have kept whatever printed photos I have of my past years. I dont have a real ton, but I keep them all in a box.
I dont see the point in getting rid of old exes stuff (well all of it). But I also dont plan on highlighting and displaying those items either. A few bits is perfectly good.
In fact I would be really worried if DH asked me to get rid of it. He should have enough confidence in himself and us that a few items in a box in a closet shouldnt bother him. I would wonder if its projection that maybe he feels guilty for some reason and still holds old feelings for someone.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
None. I cut him out of the printed ones that I liked and cropped him out of the online ones. We don’t have any kids so I just pretend that he died the day we signed our divorce papers.
Post # 7
@paulabrochu: Of all my exes, I’ve kept a few pictures from one guy. While cleaning the other day, I found a letter he wrote, but I threw it away. And actually, the pictures are on my computer and I never got around to deleting them.
Post # 8
I only have a few things laying around from ex’s.
I have a necklace [it’s sapphires & wihite gold], and a vermont teddy bear my ex got me. Everything else from him was trashed.
And he’s the only one i kept anything from. I keep everything that fi gives me though, every birthday card, love note, or any note, really he gives me, gets tucked into a box.
Once we are married I plan to make a scrapbook of every year of our lives together.
Post # 9
I only kept family photos of my ex for my children to keep not for me.
Post # 10
i have some old pictures probably saved somewhere like on photobucket or something but I don’t use that anymore so I can’t be bothered to go on and delete them.
Post # 11
I used to think it was fine, but after meeting my FI I think its unhealthy to keep TOO much stuff, maybe a couple of things.. but definitely not a whole box for each ex. Sheesh! I delete pretty much all the pictures of just me and my ex’s, and give away/donate anything they gave to me. Once my fiance found out I had stuff from ex’s and he wasnt too happy, he let me make my own decisions to throw them out, but I dont think it makes anyone feel good to know their SO has stuff from their ex laying around (especially if they’re fighting to keep it.)
Post # 12
I have diamond earrings and pearls from a relationship a long time ago…and they are just jewelry to me now, nothing else, no sentimental value
More of the recent ex’s, I don’t even want to remember their names or hear their voices.
Post # 14
@paulabrochu: That’s weird! There were a few stuffed animals I had for a while from different exes. But it wasn’t because I was holding onto the memory…it was because I either didn’t give much thought to where they came from, or they were hidden in the abyss that is my closet! Lol, sometime last year I finally gave it some thought and decided to throw out any stuffed animals that I got in a past relationship. There was no reason to keep them. I also threw out some cards that an old douche had given me years ago. I see no point in consciously holding onto that stuff.
Post # 15
I don’t have any interest in keeping anything. I have no intent to think about people who I have dated anymore. I do have one earring that an ex gave me (I lost the other diamond OOPS) Mainly i just kept it because it’s a diamond, maybe I’ll turn it into a necklace at some point. I don’t connect the two anymore though, it’s just a piece of jewelry.
I don’t understand why anyone would want to keep things from an ex for memory purposes.
Post # 16
my husband has pictures of a couple of girls he used to date on his computer. they’re not pics of just her or pics of them on a date or kissing or anything. they’re mostly group pics that his ex happened to be in.
i have a few pictures of an ex-boyfriend and i think i still have a necklace that he gave me. i don’t wear it it tho and i think it stayed at my parents’ house.
neither of us is bothered by any of it.
i have kept everything that my husband has given me (cards and such) and i also keep stuff from our dates/vacations- ticket stubs, programs from shows, etc. i keep it all of it in 2 boxes. i started the first box when we started dating and then when we got married, i started new one. i’m sentimental like that.