(Closed) How much say did your bridesmaids have in their dresses?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: BM dresses - how much say did you give your girls?
    100% of the decision was theirs : (10 votes)
    8 %
    I just gave them the colour - they picked the dress : (36 votes)
    27 %
    I gave them colour & basic style/cut but they picked the dress : (31 votes)
    23 %
    I picked a few dresses and let them choose : (24 votes)
    18 %
    I decided on the dress : (32 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    A lot. I wanted them to like the dress. Then again, there were only 2 of them, which made finding something we all liked pretty easy. Our number one concern was that the dress allowed them to wear a normal bra (strapless or stapped), so the back could only go so low.

    ETA: I still voted that I decided on the dress because in the end the ultimate decision was mine but we shopped the dress out together and I wouldn’t have chosen something they didn’t like.

    Post # 4
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wanted their inupt….but all 3 of them would have put on a burlap sack for me….They are sooo awesome! 

    Post # 5
    4797 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    I’m picking color and length. I want them both in the same dress, and I do want final say (but I’m not that picky). Other than that, I’ll let the two of them decide together. 

    Post # 6
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I gave them the color and long and everything else was up to them. 

    Post # 7
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    They had a fair bit of latitude, but had to come to a consensus.  I wanted some colour of “neutral” dress (I was ok with brown, black or grey), but all the same color and fabric from the same line, but different styles if they wanted.  So I went shopping with 2/4 of them, and narrowed down to a few dresses they liked, and pretty much deciced on grey.  Then I went shopping with one more (my Maid/Matron of Honor was travlling abroad and just said she’d wear anything), and showed them the dresses they had short listed.  It came down to liking The alfred Sung line in quarry, so I let them pick any short dress they wanted in dupioni quarry.  They all ended up picking this one:

    Post # 8
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My SIL and bridesmaid was visiting when I found a dress I loved.  She totally encouraged me to pick whatever I wanted and she happened to love the dress.  My other SIL/bridesmaid like it as well.  It wasn’t my MOH’s style but she didn’t complain.  So I guess my bridesmaids didn’t really have any say, but they didn’t complain about what I chose.

    Here is the dress

    My Maid/Matron of Honor ended up tucking the straps down the day of since her torso was too long for the dress and it would have been to pricey to have altered.  It ended up looking really nice since she stood out just a little bit as the Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 9
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I chose the color and suggested that they get long ones (for the weather.) They agreed and wanted long ones. Actual style was all them. I even gave them the option to pick different ones but all three of them ended up liking the exact same style the best. So it looks like I chose it completely, when in reality? Not so much. Lol.

    Post # 10
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I told them I wanted Navy Blue and knee length, than I got the credit for my dress at DB and I gave it to the BM’s.  They picked three diff styles but the same color, which worked out well.  I let them figure out shoes, and jewelry and hair.  It was a Destination Wedding for a few of them so after asking them to pay for travel I just wanted them to show up on time and relaxed!

    Post # 12
    578 posts
    Busy bee

    My girls ultimately had no say. I started out with the best intentions, just told them I wanted the dresses to be chiffon, neutral in color, and from the same designer. After a few days of “but I like this, why can’t she do that?” and one heck of a migraine, I put my foot down and picked 2 different jcrew dresses and told which girl to buy which dress. 

    A couple of months later one of the girls dropped out of the wedding, which kinda ticked me off because now my Maid/Matron of Honor is stuck with a dress that she had no say in just because I was trying to compromise and make the drop out (who was uncomfortable with her body and weight) feel better.

    Post # 13
    1975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    i didnt vote. it was a joint pick. we went to bridal stores, we all picked dresses we liked. then the fashion parade began! we ruled any dress they BOTH didnt feel comfortable in. we opted out the colour i wanted because it made Bridesmaid or Best Man1 look ill. dress we chose was on sale, girls loved it. done πŸ™‚

    Post # 14
    14498 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    They had their choice, all I wanted was something nice, black, and they could wear it again.  I paid for the dress and they picked them out, they both made great choices and looked amazing.

    Post # 15
    2971 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i really wanted to be able to go shopping with my girls, but it was almost impossible since all of them have such full schedules (and 1 of them lives 3 hours away). i ended up choosing the dresses, but i did ask for their input.

    i asked them if there were any styles they were not comfortable with or felt did not look good on them. fortunately, none of my girls have body types that are difficult dress. maid of honor just said she didn’t want anything long, which was fine because i wanted them in shorter dresses. my 2 bridesmaids said no strapless, which was fine because i wanted to stay away from strapless anyway.

    so i took all that into consideration when i went shopping and tried on several dresses. i knew if it looked good on me, it would look good on them. i chose a strapless knee length a-line dress for my maid of honor, and she loves it. for the other 2 girls, i chose a knee length, halter dress, with an empire waistband. one girl loves it, the other doesn’t like it. that irritates me a little because i asked her what styles she liked/didn’t like and all she said was that she didn’t want strapless. she never said that she doesn’t like a-line or empire waists.

    i go back and forth between feeling bad that she doesn’t like it and feeling like, “too bad. you should have said something sooner.”

    Post # 16
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I decide on the dress but their input was very important to me. In the end my view on that is finding a dress the girls feel comfortable in and don’t one hundred percent hate, and is a comfortbale price is what a Bride should do. I consulted them and showed them multiple options. Two of my girls don’t love the dress from them selves, one of them loves it and has plans to shorten it so she wear it again, and the other ladies seem kind of indifferent/ plan on shutting up and show up wearing the dress which is really all I can ask for.

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