- 8 years ago
Lately I’ve been seeing a ton of posts from brides disappointed with someone’s lack of involvement or interest in the wedding. I feel like I always have the same response to this dilemma – does anyone agree?
1) Every bride is super-excited about her wedding and wishes that families and bridesmaids were also excited and involved. Some want positive feedback on their decisions, others would like more involvement in planning, yet others just want family members to ask about the wedding more.
2) Often, loved ones aren’t as interested or involved as the bride would like. Maybe they’ve gone through other kids’ weddings, are busy with other life events, or just plain not interested in weddings.
3)This is not fun. It can make you feel really really upset and unloved.
4)However, no one, not your mom, not his mom, not your MOH or BMs, has an obligation to be interested in the wedding. I’m not saying it’s ok to make rude comments about it, but not wanting to talk about it, not helping plan, etc, are not horrible behaviors. Some brides are lucky enough to have families and friends who support them, listen to them, and plan with them. But many don’t, and that’s just another annoying fact of life, like having a tiny budget or a too-big guest list.
5) You can talk to the family member or friend about their uninvolvement and tell them how much it would mean to you if they were more involved, but you can’t force them into it. If they don’t change, you could keep being upset…OR, you could realize that you and FI are getting married and you are both excited and involved, and that’s really all you need to be blissfully happy.
I personally chose the latter mindset. I expect nothing of anyone, and occasionally am pleasantly surprised by family members’ and friends’ offers of help and questions about the wedding. Because I am not exactly surrounded by doting BMs and relatives, I can definitely relate to how much it sucks to not be treated like “the bride.” But I just feel like it’s not something you can change, so having certain expectations from families and friends is not the best approach to planning. If you don’t expect much, you won’t be disappointed! What do you guys think?
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