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We didn't spend any time apart either. It didn't even occur to me that we could lol
Hardly any. Everything we did, we did together. Isn't that kinda the purpose of a HM?
How do you guys differ? It is your honeymoon, the point is really to spend time together. Not saying you have to hold hands while you pee. But a honeymoon is meant to spend time enjoying your partner's company.
I totally just assumed we would spend all the time together and FI had other plans. He is more of a planner and organizer and had like 30 things on the agenda for the week. To me, that was way too much, so he said he would go do the other things without me. I still don't quite know how I feel about it, but just wanted to see if that was the norm and if I was just being overly sensitive. From the results here, it pretty clear that it is not the norm to spend a lot of time away from you husband on your honeymoon. He is thinking of going out a few hours on a few different days without me, so not a ton, but way more than I would like. I am more of a mellow, read a book, chill by the pool kind of vacation person where as my FI is more of the go out and see the sites. So, I guess a good compromise would be to spend about 10 hours during the week doing seperate things so we can both enjoy the honeymoon and still spend a bunch of time together.
We went to Jamacia for 2 weeks. He liked to go into our air conditioned room to cool down but I would usually stay out by the pool or sit on the balcony reading a book. I also went to a few early morning yoga classes, and went on one quick gym session by myself while it was cloudy. Also he could stay by the pool while I would go wander or get some fresh coconut juice from the coconut man - but that was literally for 5 minutes!
We do have different interests and personalities. And being on an island for 2 weeks where you only know one other person, I think 5 minutes away from them is needed from time to time!
We did everything together. That said, our HM was one week. I know that sometimes people have month-long honeymoons, and if that were the case, I probably would have wanted a little "me" time.
The only time we spent time apart was when I went to get a massage one morning while he stayed in the room and slept in. We had a free couples massage with our stay at Couples resort, but my husband doesn't like massages so I got both of our massages. I purposely scheduled it for 10 AM so that I would be back at a reasonable time for my husband to wake up and for us to start our day. So I would say btwn the walk across the resort and my massage we spent a total of maybe 1.5 hrs apart. If that. Other than that we were together the whole time.
The only time we spend apart was if he wanted to run out to the corner store for something after I had gotten ready for bed. We were in NYC so I think he just loved being able to walk to the corner and get whatever he wanted.
I think it depends on the situation. If this is a once in a lifetime trip to somewhere he has always wanted to go, I can understand why he has a list of thirty things, but that sounds like a lot to me, and I'm not the kind of person who sits around on vacation. Thirty things over a week is more than four things per day. Unless a number of those are things you would do anyway - say eat dinner at a particular place, so it's really just specifying where to eat - this sounds less like a vacation and more like a checklist.
Don't worry too much about what is normal. Whatever you work out that seems fair to both of you is fine. Maybe he can drop some of his list for this trip to spend more time with you, and you can accept that he'll do a few things on his own (which it sounds like you are willing to do).
@Jinxstar: Yes, this is a trip he has dreamed about for a LONG time! He spends hours on end researching, talking in forums, and mapping out EVERYTHING! The list of 30 things is a mixture of cigar factory tours, museums, cigar shops, tobacco fields, and places to eat and drink. I am fine with some of that, but since I only ocassionally smoke cigars I'm not that into them. However my FI is OBSESSED! I am big on compromise and feel that it makes everyone a little happy and a little miserable. =o)
I did not have my honeymoon as I am not married yet. But we will not be spending time apart. Its a HM. We love hiking, bike riding, site seeing, going to the beach, etc so we will do it all together.
I am not a sit at the beach kind of person and even though we went to Bali we did none of that (touring, scube diving, shopping, eating etc), we did do some pool sitting and reading. I could only handle a little bit of that so I sat at the bar across the pool. So we weren't technically together, but near. I think once I went for a long walk and shop by myself too.
Also I had trouble adjusting to the time change so I was up at 3 AM every morning and read until about 6 when he got up. If that counts.
We'll be on a cruise so I imagine we'll be joined at the hip at all times... I don't like to be alone with strangers and I get lost easily. On the islands I'll be holding his hand the entire time just because I'm terrified of the ship leaving without us lol.
On our honeymoon we went to Antgigua for a week and spent majority of our time together. I would get up earlier and would leave our hotel room without hubby to book our restaurants for the evening and Dh would meet me there 15 minutes later. During the day we would relax by the beach . One of us would leave to get drinks or going back upto our room for 20 minutes. Sometimes i would leave him for 20 minutes to go to the gift shop. We were together but not joint at the hip. I like to do some things by myself! However we were always together during meals and If we left the resort we did everything together. Anyway of compromising? Do some sight seeing when the weather isn't as nice? Or get up early and check some sights out and hit the beach after?
Well, we're on our honeymoon now and we have different sleeping patterns so i wake up early and either lay by the pool for a few hours, walk to the store to get things we need or steal his ipad and spend some time on that while hes snoring next to me. But when were both awake we are together. DH has been sick most of the honeymoon so we havent been together as much as i would like but i need and like the 'me' time in the mornings before he wakes up. We like different things too but i can do that while hes sleeping and getting better and i just tag along for stuff he likes
We spent most of our time together. There were a couple hours in total that we spent apart. We went to Cancun.
Like I like laying out on the beach but my DH wanted to go take a kayak out. So he did. He was out there by himself for about an hour and then came back to lay out with me when he was done. Also, my husband likes to sleep in. I would leave to get breakfast. Also, there was a morning yoga that was offered. I know my husband wouldn't go to a yoga class, so I went on my own. I was only gone for about 45 minutes. Oh, lastly, I like to get up at 8am to go save a spot on the beach chairs. I wanted to make sure I got a good tan. So I would leave at 8am and my husband to come to the beach when he got up. Like 9 or 10am. I don't think there was anything wrong with that. I spend about 80% of our HM together. We went on excursions together and had dinner every night.
When we go away, we spend most of our time together; we pick places and resorts we both want to go to, and plan trips in advance, together. We do have slightly different tastes, so we have to compromise a bit eg I like to spend more time sunbathing, so sometimes in the afternoon, he'll head up to the room and sit on the balcony and I'll stay at the pool on my own for an hour. Which is fine, because we usually just read/listen to music anyway.
I'd be a bit upset though if he wanted to go off and do a load of trips without me, and even more so on honeymoon. The whole point is to spend most of your time together, so while I don't expect him to be glued to my hip 24/7, I think there should be room for compromise. In your case, maybe you could do a few more trips than you'd originally planned, and he could do a few less. I'd definitely talk to him though.
We spent a few hours apart on at least three or four days of our week-long honeymoon. DH wanted to golf, so while he golfed I went to the spa. There were also some days he would nap and I would go sit down by the pool and read. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending time doing your own thing even if it is your honeymoon - it's supposed to be relaxing, and DH & I don't always consider the same things "relaxing."
We are taking a delayed honeymoon, but we plan to spend all of it together except for one compromise - the resort we chose has a KILLER golf course, and FI is a huge golf nerd. He's never gotten the opportunity to play at a golf course like this so I gave him the nudge to go ahead and play 9 holes one morning.
I agree with you @Alexis22... I don't want to be super busy during our honeymoon and come back exhausted!
We went to Maui and originally wanted to plan a morning where he went golfing and I went shopping, but we ended up nixing that idea. We were together the whole time minus a few hours in the early AM when I went down to get good seats at the pool before he woke up.
The only time we were really apart- aside from times I stayed up late in the living room working on typing up my research for applications (yes, I took homework on the honeymoon) - was when DH would run to the store for cold/sinus stuff for me, or got up to get another drink at the luau (or of course, bathroom breaks). We spent most of the previous two months apart- why spend all that money to spend part of our honeymoon not with each other? Yes, this meant I had to ride at his level but its okay for me to have a nice walk through an old sugar can plantation.
DH would go out for a run every morning on our honeymoon, so usually an hour or so a day. I would get up, take a shower and make breakfast while he was out (we had a cabin up in the Adirondacks). Other than that we didn't really spend any time apart.
I don't think you should worry about what the norm is. It only really matters what you and your fiance think is best.
That said, it seems like you are bothered by the fact that he wants to spend so much time away from you. Is this something you've talked to him about? If not, you should, and then maybe you could reach some kind of compromise. Since there are things he really wants to do and you love him, you should give him the ability to do those things, even if it means spending some of your honeymoon time apart. Likewise, since you want to spend most of your time together and he loves you, he should be willing to curtail his list.
I had to think about this for a little while, because hubs and I are independent people who often do our own thing. But I honestly can't think of any time we spent apart on our honeymoon! We did mostly everything together.
I will say that your husband may not actually want to DO all the things he has planned. We picked one of our hotels for the fact that it had free kayaks, jet skis, etc. and we were too burnt out on the wedding and in relax mode to even bother with anything. We went on snorkeling trips, explored the island, etc. but did a LOT of relaxing.
I talked to FI about it, and agreed to no more than 10 hours of individual time away from each other in our 13 day honeymoon. This way we will still have plenty of time together but he also has the time to go see the 15 different cigar shops he wants to see and go to a couple cigar factories as well. We are both pretty independent people, so who knows by the middle of the trip I may be begging him to go do something on his own. =o)
We will be taking a 7 night cruise and in one port he will be going diving (i'm not and can't get certified) and I will be doing something else. But the other days we will be doing stuff together.
But I fully expect us to spend some other time apart. We are two different ppl with two different interests. And while we will be together, there will also be some time when he wants to do something I don't- so we will split.
Do whatever makes you feel comfy.
We were gone for 5 weeks in Greece and I can think of only a handful of times we were not together and most of those times were for practical reasons, like I went to the market and he went to rent our scooter when we first got there. We didn't really want to spend any time apart since we don't get to see each other that much in everyday life!
My DH and I want 'little' of time for ourselves everytime we are on our vacation. He gets his 'alone' time when he exercise which is less than one hour a day. While he exercise, I am usually at the pool side or in the room catching on my own thing.
there was never a single moment we weren't together, expcept for the moments we had to use the bathroom. it was the best two weeks of my life.
EDIT: we went to an all-inclusive the caribbean.
A handful of times - we were in Vanuatu and he wanted to check out the casino, which I wasn't interested in, so I had a massage while he did that. The rest of the time was us together.. chilling by the pool, reading in our bungalow, just hanging out.
Since my Fi and I have similar interests we don't plan on spending time apart on our honeymoon. We are both active and not the sit around the pool or beach kind of people. For us that's nice for a while here and there but to spend so much money on a vacation just to sit around seems nuts to us.
Not to say that you should wear yourself thin with activities and never relax but perhaps you can go with him to at least half of his activities?
Thanks for all the replies! Unfortunately, my FI and I do not always enjoy the same things. Although it sucks sometimes, it was also one of the many things that made me fall for him in the first place. I liked experiencing new things and would probably be game to check everything out with him, even if just to make him happy...but I suffer from chronic pain in my back and doing too much walking always aggrivates my back and causes horrible pain for me. FI on the other hand is the opitome of health and doesn't tire easily. I think the main reason I was upset that he wanted to go do things alone is that I felt he didn't care that I was in pain. I realize now that was just me being overly sensitive, as I tend to be sometimes. This is a trip of a lifetime for us, and FI has been soooo excited for 9 months now about our honeymoon. It's actually kind of cute.
There was one day where we spent about 6 hours apart? We were in Ireland and as a surprise wedding/birthday gift I booked him 18 at one of Ireland's oldest golf courses. That was the only time we spent apart.
I tend to over schedule things on trips, and my FI likes to sit at the beach and relax. We plan on going to a tropical resort, where we relax most of the time and do a few activities. We're looking at a 2 week HM. With that being said, we will spend some time apart because of our different sleeping patterns. FI goes to bed late and wakes up late. I tend to wake up pretty early. I'm looking forward to getting a cup of coffee in the morning (FI hates coffee) and wandering around a bit on my own before he gets up. We love being with each other's company, but I also enjoy some alone time.
We were attached at the hip. The only time we werent together is if one of us ran to the restroom while the other was relaxing in the pool or on the beach. Otherwise, inseperable.
2 hours while I got a massage in the spa of our hotel--that was it!
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I was wondering what is normal in terms of spending time away from your husband during your honeymoon. My FI and I differ on how we feel about this and I was wondering what the norm is.