Post # 1
I am curious about how much time you spent with your SO on your wedding day. I am really nervous about this. My FI is a social butterfly and loves a party. He comes from a big Italin and Irish family. I dont like party’s and feel awkward in social situations. I don’t like big crowds either. Although I am planning a wonderful wedding, ideally if it was just us I would be happiest.
Since we are not having the wedding I want in terms of size. I have made him promise me he will spend time with me. I am nervous about this because whenever we visit his family he always forgets about me. I don’t mean this in a pathetic way. I can socialize, talk and what not but at party’s and we around his family he always disappears and I don’t see him. People will say where is so and so and I say you know him such a social butterfly.
I feel selfish because we will have so many out of town guests but I am so nervous we won’t have much time together. Any bees go through this? How was your day?
Post # 3
We had breakfast with his family (at the hotel) and then spent a little time together. I went to pick up flowers and he went out for lunch with friends. I saw him for a second before I headed to the venue with my girls and didn’t see him again til I walked down the aisle (we did not do a first look, and are glad about that). We did a sweetheart table so we had dinner together, and all the little things (first dance, cake, toasts, etc). Otherwise we really did our own things and checked in. He knew he needed to hit the dance floor for “Suit and Tie” and otherwise I danced my face off and he hung out with his friends/family. Then we hung out together with everyone else at the afterparty.
What are you thinking in terms of spending time with him? That he will stay glued to your side? You will both need to visit with your guests – you can do this together. But once you’ve thanked everyone individually, maybe he hits the dance floor and you hang with your parents and good friends. You need to be social and gracious, of course, but no one will mind if you only dance with your best friend, or you run to the bar or to get a drink. And you’ll need a mom/best friend to help you pee 🙂
Post # 4
I saw him for the first time when I walked down the aisle. For the rest of the night, there wasn’t more than 5 minutes at any one time that we were apart. We were together all the time. We visited people together, danced together, went outside to cool down together.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
We were together most of the night on the dance floor, but not necessarily paying attention to each other during that time either. All of our friends and families were there that we hadn’t seen in ages! So I saw him for the first time at 500pm when I walked down the aisle. We did photos, dinner, first dance…the usual. Then we just would dance together here and then throughout the night, and it was all good.
Post # 6
@antisocialite: in no way do I expect for him to be glued to me but I am just nervous i won’t really see him at all. When he gets around his brother I don’t exisit and he is such a social butterfly. We have been to plenty events where once we got there i hardly saw him. I am just hoping that our wedding isn’t the same. I wanted to see what other brides experiences were like. Thank you for sharing yours.
Post # 7
@Lizabean: I (hope) if you have expressed to him that you want to at least, say, be able to make eye contact at any time if needed, or can find him easily, that he will stick to that. Our agreement was that he should stay coherent and not disappear – I would need to be able to easily get him to start cake, bouquet, etc. Our wedding had about 85 people total, so it wasn’t difficult, but I’d just suggest agreeing on scheduling and what you need from him ahead of time. The day is about you two, so hopefully he will be a bit more focused on you than at other family events where the focus may be on someone else or no one in particular.
Post # 8
@antisocialite: Exactly! Coherent and no disappearing acts. We will probably have anywhere from 130-160. It just makes me nervous. Thanks for the wonderful wishes.
Post # 9
I spent maybe 3 hours with him, but only about an hour and a half was quality time (we spent almost no time alone though).
Post # 10
@Lizabean: Are you having a honeymoon? You’ll have him to yourself then!
It sounds like he will have a HUGE number of guests to entertain, and it’s natural that he’ll be with them a lot during the reception. That’s part of being a good host.
In my case, from the start of the ceremony we were together for most of the day. After the meal at the reception we went our separate ways for a while, but that just seemed the natural thing to do.
But once we left for the hotel room at the end of the night, that was it. It was entirely just the two of us for the next 2 weeks.
Post # 11
We got ready separately but that was about it! We had a first look, which was an amazing experience, and spent the rest of the day at each other’s sides. Well, except for a few minutes here and there like when his rather large immediate family did family portraits or when one of us had to to go to the bathroom. During the reception, we had a sweetheart table and loved it. In between courses, we visited each table and took pictures. Towards the end, there was some separation as people started to leave, and we ended up saying goodbye to this or that person/couple by ourselves. However, it was never for more than 10min at a time.
I think it’s a great that you’ve talked with your FI about your desires/expectations for the wedding day. It will hopefully mean one less thing you need to worry about on such a hectic day!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Lizabean: my guy and I are both social and often find ourselves socializing separately for hours at parties. I made him promise that he would stick by my side for our wedding – I wanted to socialize TOGETHER. We did end up losing each other here and there (biggish wedding, 165 people) but were together for most of it.
Just make it clear to him that this is the one time you reallllly don’t want to be left alone, and hopefully he will understand and prioritize it.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2015 - Country Club
I could have written this myself, and totally understand how you feel. I told my SO how I feel about the situation, it’s OUR day and we should celebrate it as such. We we we, through the night. I dont care if he goes and has some time on his own, but I’d feel awakward and, I must admit, upset, kowing im spending two years planning this day, to then not see him for good portions of it. Awakward and upset are the last things i want tl feel that day. Im glad he understands how I feel, and I compromise too by not getting hammered with the drinks since he doesn’t drink. Both of us compromised
Post # 14
The whole day! We eloped. We may be having a party to celebrate and I imagine it will be most of the day if we wind up doing that.
Post # 15
We woke up together, got ready seperately, did photos, ceremony and kicked straight into the reception, so we got a lot of time together! Having said that, there were a lot of times during the reception when he wandered off (we got married in a huge garden with a maze, etc. so can’t really blame him), but it really wasn’t a big deal. If I ever felt at all uncomfortable, then I would have a chat with some of my own friends or family so I didn’t look totally anti-social, then I would go chat with some of his relatives (older ones are usually really happy/grateful to get facetime with the bride, so you can’t go wrong there!). Or I’d chat with some of the littler children – they also loved getting to see the bride.
Once the dance floor opened up, it was fine – no one really expects you to socialise when you’re dancing, so grab a few trusted friends who will look just as crazy as you dancing and go for it!
Post # 16
@Lizabean: Lots! We woke up together, had breakfast together, lounged around the hotel room together for hours before we parted for the final stages of getting ready. (We got ready partway together but he left before a lot of the serious stuff.) We were together again quite soon for the first look photoshoot. As soon as the ceremony was over we spent most of the cocktail hour & reception together except for when I was resting and he was dancing. 🙂 The only time we were *apart* all day was just before the first look photoshoot.