How much time do I give BM before having to remove from Wedding Party?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would speak to her again and say you NEED the size by ___ date. It’s that simple. Then the ball is in her court. As far as “replacing,” I never understand that. If I had someone that didn’t or couldn’t be a bm i wouldn’t replace them like an employee. I don’t know if I would want my sister paying for other people’s attire for my event either.

Post # 3
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

ahough2:  I think a final deadline of this weekend is it…… 2 months is really not that much time in the wedding world (where time is never on your side) and the stress it is causing you is really unnecessary.  You have done a lot to find very affordable dresses and now it is her turn to be an adult and do what she needs to do to get measured……

Post # 5
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

“Hey SIL, I need to have your measurements by Saturday or we cannot get the dresses.  Can you send me those by then?” Put it on her.  If she doesn’t send them or the size, follow up on the deadline day and say, “Sorry to do this, but it looks like we cannot get you a dress now.  Would you consider doing someotherdutyhere instead?”

 

Post # 6
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

ahough2:  well replace if you want and have people that may not even care or won’t have a dress either. We had an uneven bridal party bc a groomsmen dropped out 3 days before. One of the other groomsmen walked with 2 girls. It didn’t look weird. It really was not important. What was important was marrying my husband but everyone is different.

Post # 8
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Since they are your in laws and not direct friends or family, I would at this point ask my FI or MIL to step in and be more forcefull/blunt with them. Or to find out if there is any other underlaying issues that they might not want to share with you. 

Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

ahough2:  tell her she has until Saturday. This really isn’t difficult so there is no reason she can’t give a size. She obviously isn’t that interested. I don’t know if she is just extremely busy (which I NEVER EVER believe), said yes because she felt obligated, doesn’t take this seriously for some reason (are you close? Is she against a big wedding for a 2nd marriage? Is there something missing we don’t know?), or is just an idiot but after the date just tell her the deadline passed and dresses were ordered.

Post # 13
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

ahough2:  Can you just call her and say ‘I’m on the website ordering the dresses right now, do you want a 14 or 16?’ (or whatever sizes a large would likely be).  Yes, its totally putting her on the spot, but it’ll be done.  

Post # 15
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

ahough2:  Ya, then I’d just pick the size I think she’ll need or the bigger size and be done with it.  You are much nicer than I am.  

My SIL told me she needed X size (UK) and guessed at the size here.  I ordered her the size I thought she’d wear based on her UK size.  Done.  She didn’t procrastinate or give me a hard time or anything.  I just took what info she gave me and made an executive decision.  We know it will need to be altered (so are everyone else’s) but the alterations are included and I paid for the dress, so I’m alright with this.  

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