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How much time is really needed?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
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    mogi139       Michigan

    My SO has not officially proposed yet but he has the ring and we've been discussing bits and pieces.  When talking dates, I say spring.  However, hearing everyone on here talk, they keep saying they need a year.  That just seems way too long to me.  How long does it really take to plan everything?  Why a year?

     
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    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    I had 1.5 years, but I could have done it all in 6 months. As it is, I didn't really start planning anything until eight months out, other than securing the venue. The only reason you would need a long engagement is needing a specific date and wanting a specific venue. Otherwise I think 6 months is plenty of time... most other vendors don't book up that fast.

     
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    MjBroksan    November 6 2010   Arkansas Wedding in Florida

    I think it all depends on what you want for your wedding. I think if your more flexible with where you would like to have it and such then you should take less time. You can take whatever amount of time that you want to take you just might have to be flexible with certain things.

     
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    chirico8684    August 21, 2010   Philadelphia,PA

    If you get married during the prime months probably June-Aug(guess) in Michigan then you need a year. Remember there are some brides that plan 2+ years in advance, and you will be competing with them for your date. Those Saturdays at most venues get snapped up like no tomorrow. Or if you consider a Friday or Sunday wedding you may be able to have a shorter engaement. Also consider an off season wedding since more dates will be available last minute and they are cheaper.

     
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    Charm bracelet    July 24, 2010   Placentia, CA

    How funny.  I had this same issue.  My FI and I sat down one day before we were engaged and talked about wedding stuff.  I told him I wanted a short engagement of 8-9 months.  He said that would not be possible if we wanted a 30K wedding.  It takes time to save up 30K and we didn't plan on asking our families for the money.  I agreed that I did want a nice wedding and agreed to wait a 14 months instead to have the wedding of my dreams.  I am still on a budget 30k isn't a great sum but it's more than what 8-9 months would have given us. 

    The perk of planning with so much time.  We got the reception place we wanted, we got the ceremony site we wanted, and we got the photographer wanted.

     
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    Miss Velveteen    20 March 2010   New Zealand

    I think it depends on where and when you decide to get married, and how 'set' you are on certain elements. 

    But, more or less, I think 6 months is fine. We were only going to do a short engagement (like 6 months), but he's keen on spring (Sept/Oct) now so it will be more like 10 months (if his proposal ideas keep to schedule). I think I'd get pretty over it if it was long!

     
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I've been wondering the same thing! I think my bf is going to propose in late Oct (my birthday)... but I really want to get married in May! I don't have a particular attachment to the month, but due to family weddings it is basically May 2010 or wait until 2011, and omg I can't wait 1.5 years! But, if he does it at the end of Oct as I expect May is only 7 months and everyone on here seems to have stuff planned out so early!

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    it also depends on the region that you are located in as well. there are always early planners.  you must also consider the length of time it will take for your wedding dress to arrive.  you limit your dress choices if you want to plan in say 4 months when most designers promise delivery in 4 months.  that cuts everything (fittings, etc) ultra close.

     
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    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    Like the other PP have said, I think if you're willing to be flexible, you can plan in less than a year.  You will possibly have fewer options in venue, time of the day and day of the week if you're booking less than a year in advance.  However, if you're willing to be flexible, I think you can definitely do it. I had friends who put together a lovely wedding in 6 months, but they also had to get married on a Friday evening, instead of Saturday, because that was the only time the church was available.

    I know when we were planning, we knew our venue and the month we wanted to be married, so we kind of had to book it quickly, because it's a popular place/time.  We booked almost exactly a year in advance and I'm glad we did!  It also took about 6 months for my dress to come in (after about 3 months of looking for one), so that took some time, too.

    If you don't have your heart set on a specific place or particular date, I think you can definitely plan an amazing wedding in a shorter period of time.

     
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    Mandyrosy    September 19, 2009   Montana

    I'm all for a shorter engagement. We had nine months, and it was plenty for us. The longer you have to plan, the more time you have to stress about making it perfect and change your mind 20 times about what you/the groom/the bridesmaids should wear. It's all simpler if you keep it short and sweet!

     
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    kayakgirl73    October 31, 2009   Virginia, (wedding in WV)

    I got engaged in November 2008 and my wedding is OCtober 31st.  I did not want Halloween, but that was the only Saturday available at my venue that was after August 1st. We needed at least six months for Catholic Church issues and due to the busy Holiday season the Priest doing Pre-CAna at FI's church wouldn't meet with us to at least January. Luckily my parents priest put our date on the calendar. I did do a bunch of vendor booking early on like Photog, Video, and Dj and then I didn't do much except dresses for a while. It took me a long time to find my dress.

     
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    mogi139       Michigan

    Thanks for all the input.  Like you CorgiTales, I suspect he will propose in October.  Because of his business schedule, we would have to get married either March or the next October and I don't want to wait that long.  However, it feels weird to plan while I'm not yet even engaged.  What to do, what to do.

     
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    haha mogi139-- i know! I'm walking the line here between sorta-planning (really just reading a bunch of stuff to get ideas) and trying to not get myself too hyped up. 

     
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    MaybeeBecca    August 22, 2009   Kansas City, MO

    We did it in just over 5 months. Some people said we were crazy, but we haven't had any trouble getting things done in time. I guess it depends on the kind of wedding you want, though. Ours is a bit simpler so if we had a fancier, more expensive one it probably would have taken longer (not to mention the time taken to save up for it)

     
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    tea       norcal

    you don't need a year. two friends of mine pulled off beautiful weddings in 6 months or less. it just depends on how what kind of wedding you want, whether you want something extrememly detailed [which i think you'd need more than 6 months to get things done with a minimum amount of stress] or something a bit simpler.

    seeing how we don't want to wait a year to get married [seeing how we've been waiting to just get engaged for going on 4 years now] the boy and i are already looking at a tight timeline so i'm taking advantage of the time now and plotting things out. there's no harm in looking and organizing your ideas early! 

     
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    Miss Librarian    9/6/09   Upstate NY

    I have managed to plan a wedding in 3 months. I am super organized and have probably been *quite* irratating but it is doable (and very stressful mind you). I knew exactly what I wanted which is the only way we are going to be able to pull off a 100 person, sit down dinner. I literally had the invites out 1 1/2 weeks after we got engaged haha. We lucked out and were able to have our first choice venue, nothing was booked for Labor Day weekend! Everyone thought FI and I were either a.) crazy or b.) pregnant. I can't tell you how many people assume there is a bun in the oven b/c of the time crunch. The reality is, he is deploying and we could either do it in September or when he gets back from Iraq. So we chose September! And to be honest, I don't think I'd do it any other way. I love that I don't have to wait, I'm not the most patient of people...

     
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    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    As others have mentioned, it depends on a lot of things.  If you want your wedding during "wedding season" then you need at least a year.  We went to book our reception venue 1.5 years in advance and our original date was already taken. 

    It also all depends how fast you actually have the desire to plan it in.  I wanted to take my time and therefore had a 2+ year engagement. 

     
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    sweetkate    August 29, 2009   San Jose, CA

    I had a year to plan my wedding but I did the majority of the planning in the last 6 months. I was still in school when we got engaged and since I was getting ready to graduate I didn't even want to think about a wedding. Like everyone else has said before me, you really don't need a whole year. Just make sure you are organized!

     
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    ribbons    June 12, 2010  

    I think I've had too much time. We've been engaged for a year and the wedding isn't until next June. Of course, I didn't start planning until this past May just because I've had an extremely busy year and it seemed.. early.

    But, the one benefit is getting your first choice of vendors and venues. I've gotten some primo ones that I'm sure would've been booked had I waited till the 6 month mark (like serious wedding blog porn, oh yes).

    It's a mixed bag, I guess. A lot of time to get what you want, too much time to figure out what you want. I can't nail down a color palette because I simply haven't had to. It can be a little paralyzing.

     
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    minneapolitan    11/7/2009   Minneapolis, MN

    We did ours in less than a year.  No problems or complaints at all.  If we had had more time, I think I would have been too indecisive and changed things about a billion times. 

    I think the only problem you'd run into with less than a year is if you're hoping to get married during a popular season in your area.  We managed to plan in like 8 months or so partially because November is not at all a popular wedding month around here.  Makes it a lot easier to book things.

     
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    nomerstoo    May 9, 2009   Chicago, IL

    We planned ours in 5 months. We had talked about a date and some details before he proposed, but from proposal to wedding date it was 5 months and a week.

    Depending on what city you live in, the size of your weddin, and how much help you will have, it is possible.

    We just didn't want to wait longer and worked hard to get it done in the time we set.

     
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    jingle96    May 28, 2010   DW in ARUBA/livin' in VA

    I'm getting married in Aruba in May 2010 and eveything is already planned, so now I'm just sitting waiting til the day!  So I think that if you have a destination wedding you could plan in less than 6 months, otherwise I think you would need time for the vendors if you do it in your hometown.

     

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