Post # 1
I’m going to a wedding of a couple that Hubby and I are close friends with. Its out of town so we are staying at a hotel and driving a long distance. Hubby is unemployed and I am currently working but spending a lot on loans. I sent gifts for the shower I couldn’t attend and spent about $85 dollars. Now for the wedding we would like to give money but I’m not sure how much to give. They know we aren’t financially in a good spot yet they are our favorite couple. Any suggestions?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
If you can afford $100, that’s what I would try to give. If not, whatever below that you can afford whether it’s $10 or $99. We had some friends who are struggling give us very small cash gifts and we appreciated what for them was quite generous even though it was a fraction of what some others were able to give. Your friends will not judge you.
Post # 4
Typically the rule is to give enough to cover the cost of your plate, but really you should gift what you can afford. Also, it can depend how close you are.
For example, my friend got married this summer and we gifted $200. If it were my best friend getting married I’d give more because she’s practically my sister. Hope that makes sense.
Post # 5
I should also add, do you Bees think cash is better than an actual gift? It looks like most of the registry is full and I know they are taking a honeymoon so I was hoping they could use it there.
Post # 6
@Pupperoni: I think cash or a gift card to a store is perfect. We received a lot of cash but also a lot from our registry and our entire dining room was FULL and took forever to put away lol
Post # 7
@Pupperoni: I think cash is always welcome!
I honestly would not give one cent more than you can comfortably afford. In your situation, I’d say $40 – 50, if you can swing it.
Post # 8
@Pupperoni: I would never ever complain about getting money as a gift. I’m sure they would love to have that for the honeymoon. Give what you can. You already gave at the showers as well so I’m sure they will understand.
Everyone is traveling to my wedding and I know some of my guests have recently had some financial struggles. To be honest…I’m just honored they are still making plans and spending money to travel to my wedding now, when I would totally understand if they couldn’t be there. I’ve made it clear to anyone that their presence there is gift enough to me.
Post # 9
I usually spend 50 on a shower and 150 on a gift for my closest friends/cousins. 40 on shower and 100 for good friends. In your case, your shower gift was more than generous, so I’d probably spend maybe 60 on a wedding gift if you can afford it?
Post # 10
Give what you can afford. You’ve given a very generous shower gift. I’m sure they feel so blessed that you’re going to be there and more touched that you that you want to give a gift as well.
Post # 11
I usually do $150 per person attending; so if I was going alone; I gift $150 and if DH and I were going together I’d do $300. For close friends and family, it jumps up to $250+ per person attending. Nowadays, around 100 is avg for what they’re spending per person on the reception around my area.
Post # 12
We got cash from one person and were *so* happy to get it because we opened our cards driving to the airport (2hr drive). We were able to use the $100 on our honeymoon and it actually provided for all of our transportation for the week, it was one of the best presents because of how useful it was!
Post # 13
Cash is definitely an awesome gift, many, many (most?) people prefer it. I would give what you can.
Is there a non-cash gift that you would be able to give? For example, would you be able to help design programs or escort cards or similar? Will there be a gap between the ceremony and the reception? If so, you could try to do this: http://uniquegifter.com/the-first-photograph/
Post # 14
Give what you can afford; don’t feel pressured to go past that. If you guys are really close, they will appreciate the gift no matter the amount.
Post # 15
@Pupperoni: I think it really depends, ultimately, on what you can afford. In different parts of the country, different amounts are the norm. Here in NYC, FI and generally give $200 each. For his cousins wedding last year (3 weeks after a wedding FI was the best man in) we had to travel and it was a tight time – so we ended up giving his cousin $350, from the both of us.
Give money, and give what you can afford. You can always take this couple to dinner in teh future, and they will always understand.
Post # 16
There are several “rules of thumb” regarding how much money should be gifted for a wedding, however you should decide how much to give based on two considerations:
a) What you can afford
b) What you want to give the couple
You can always give a gift (off of their registry if they have one), which is a thoughtful idea as well. Many registries have items that vary in price (so youre likely to find something within your price range).
However cash or monetary gifts are always lovely (especially if the couple could use it on their honeymoon). You could also find out where they are honeymooning and arrange for a special gift for them at their resort or hotel (I’ve arranged for anything from a couples massage, to champagne and strawberries upon arrival, to a special wine to be served at their first dinner) Many hotels or resorts are more than happy to help you set this up, and it is a lovely surprise for the couple!