(Closed) How much to involve Groom's Mum?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
12831 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Perhaps when you’ve narrowed down choices on vendors (photographers, caterers, etc) you could ask her opinion.  I found that my FMIL was helpful with the menu when I showed her the two options I had designed, rather than letting her having free reign from the start.  Let her do as much or as little as you’re comfortable with.  Even just asking if she’d like to be involved would be a good starting point!  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
12831 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sazzle:  I went through the same thing — I had a 17 month engagement, and I got a lot of eyerolls for doing advanced planning.  All I can say is, it gets better.  Really.  As it gets closer, people get more and more excited.  My FMIL kept complaining about how long the engagement was in the beginning, and now I’m about 50 days away, and it seems like there isn’t enough time to get everythign done.  What does your FI think about this? 

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@sazzle:  Take her dress shopping with you when you do go.

Bring her to the tasting if you can.

Ask for guestlist.

Let her know things that are bought/done (eg, when guest favors come in, show them to her!)

If she has a different culture than you maybe you can ask what traditions she has that she might want included?

 

I think those things would help her feel involved without giving her too much to do or think about. I run things by my parents and my FI before I do them, but then when its decided (or almost 100% so) I throw it out ot my inlaws and they’re happy about it. They also like that when they come to visit our house, I show them what’s arrived in the mail. 🙂 His mother can’t even get her son’s names right — she will always go “Marc, Woody, Richi” no matter who she talks to, since she can’t remember which one they are.

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