Post # 1
So I grew up in a very open house but I want to see what other people think of this subject and will probably live the same way but I want to hear different oppions on this. My parents are super open with everything! They share an email account and have their own but they both use all three frequently. I think I see my mom on my dad’s phone more than he is. My mom knows his social security number and any other information about him, they have one banking account and my dad knows nothing about their fiancés because my mom takes care of it all. They literally share everything. FI and I as of right now don’t live together but because of how we were rasied share a lot of information with each other. We both have access to each other’s email, which is mainly used to check something if the other isn’t near a computer. Same with bank account info. we have separate accounts but FI has had me check is account for him when he doesn’t have access to it and has asked me to remember the information in case I needed to check it again and he has my info. When we get married we will keep both accounts but both our names will be on each. I’m sure my FI will be much more involved with paperwork and finances then my dad but we have decided to share everything with each other, we want everything in our relationship to be an open book.
I have noticed some bees are not as open as my family or I am with certain information. I guess what I want to know is why or why aren’t open with some information? I want to learn about different lifestyles as I am about to begin a new life my FI. Why does this work for your or why wouldn’t sharing everything work for you?
Post # 3
We close the door when using the toilet… that’s about all we keep private.
Post # 4
Very, very open. Pretty much the only thing we won’t talk about are private conversations with our friends in which they have confided/vented to us. And even sometimes then we tell.
Post # 5
Everything! Maybe its how we were raised, but if we’re going to commit our lives to each other, we’ll have nothing to hide Of course we respect each other, and would never take advantage of it. (we even have access to each others facebook pages, haha)
Post # 6
@joya_aspera: +1 lol. There are some things that should stay private. 🙂
But otherwise we’re extremely open. We know each other’s ssn and all of the passwords the other uses for stuff (not because we exchanged or anything but we have just happened to need to log into various stuff for the other). We do have separate email and facebook and all that but we share an ipad (well, kinda. I don’t really like it so I use it maybe 5% of the time to my husband’s 95%) and it funnels both our email and facebook on there so we both have full access to anything the other is doing. And we use each other’s phones freely if they are more convenient to where we happen to be than our own phones. This includes frequently checking each other’s text messages to report back to that person of they happen to not be near the phone and we hear it ding.
So I guess the answer is….. we share just about everything except what happens in the bathroom! lol
Post # 7
Both of us need our own space, even though we love each other very much. I could not imagine giving him my email pw! It’s not that I have stuff to hide, but I have a lot of personal correspondence with my friends, and I know they’d feel uncomfortable knowing that he read their emails. I have emails from past relationships in my inbox as well, and I consider those private. If he asked me anything about my past relationships I would respond honestly, but that doesn’t mean I’d let him read those emails. And of course it goes both ways. He knows the pw to my phone (he doesn’t have a pw on his) but he would never just open my Facebook and browse. Sometimes he talks on the phone to his mum privately and sometimes I do the same (although it’s easier for me since he can’t understand Korean, haha).
This extends to the rest of our life as well. Sometimes he goes off with his motorcycle “gang” for a day; sometimes I go visit my parents without him.
We know each other’s bank PINs and SSNs and other practical stuff, but we still respect each other’s personal space, and that works very well for us.
Post # 8
We share a lot. We have seperate bank accounts but frequantly do transactions for eachother, email passwords, facebook ect… Phones are open to eachother, laptops, ipads. He looks at my history everyonce in awhile and laughs at all the Bee stuff I look at 😛
The only thing that isnt completly shared is his peice of the family buisness, trust fund attatched to that (he doesnt touch it) board meeting notes. All that. Sometimes he goes over it with me but its all suposed to be confidential, not that I’m going to do anything with it. It’s something I respect and I have seen the tax paperwork on it and its mind boggling and something I never want to have to deal with personally lol.
Oh and the bathroom stays shut for #2 although it is frequantly announced ::eyeroll::
Post # 9
@joya_aspera: +1. hahah
we share ALMOST everything. what goes on in the bathroom is our own business though.
Post # 10
We share a bank account, but each also have our own. We don’t share email, or facebook or anything of that like. We know the passwords to each other’s computers etc. But don’t really use them.
The one thing we have that is “PRIVATE” is the nighstand. Its not that I want to hide things from him or he wants to hide things from me, but if I buy something as a suprise thats where I can put it without him snooping, and vice versa.
My fiance is getting used to the idea that we share everything and its “ours” not “mine” or “his” I’m getting used to that as well but wont have that fully until we’re married, as an example I own the house and did before he moved in, its still a challenge for me to say OUR house. Its our HOME, but my HOUSE if anything went in the shitter 😉
Post # 11
Except FI sometimes doesn’t even close the door!
Nothing is private to any of us.. although, we don’t go snooping through each others phones/email/mail/computer and whatnot, but we certainly can and neither of us would feel offended. We have nothing to hide, at all.
I can’t imagine NOT sharing everything with your partner.
Post # 12
We’re open (and were both raised that way) however we still have our own privacy. We could probably guess at each others’s facebook/email passwords but neither of us have ever asked the other for them or needed them for any reason. We constantly have access to e-mail/facebook/etc. via our phones so I don’t see a time when we’d ever need the other to check something for us. If we did though, neither would have an issue giving each other passwords since we trust each other not to abuse the information.
It’s not that we have anything to hide, but I have personal correspondance with friends that even though I may tell him about it, it just isn’t really his business to go through my e-mails and read things. My e-mail account has been through 4 boyfriends too and I never delete anything, so that also is not his business to be goign through. Not that he would necessarily, but just another reason why I won’t freely just give him my pw for no reason.
We do not open each others mail either unless the other asks us to.
We currently bank separately but our accounts are linked so no need to know passwords there.
I trust that the information he tells me is the truth, so no need to see the proof on paper for myself.
It works for us and that’s really all that matters.
Post # 13
We have separate email accounts, and the only way we would access each other’s email account would be if one of us specifically asked the other to do check it. We know each other’s phone passwords, but would never read each other’s messages. Likewise Facebook. I think it is good to have some things private, and I know that if a friend of mine shared everything with their partner, I would be extremely hesitant about sharing anything with them, so this is the main reason why I like to keep certain things separate and private; that and the fact that yes, we are a couple, yes, we are getting married, but we are still our own individuals with our own lives.
When we get married, we will each have separate accounts, that our wages our paid into. We will then have a joint account which we will each pay a proportion of our wages into each month to cover bills, food, etc. The rest of our money will be ours to do with as we wish.
More broadly, we don’t do everything as a couple, and this won’t change when we live together. We have our own friends, and socialise and holiday with them individually (I can’t stand it when someone HAS to bring their partner everywhere/isn’t ‘allowed’ a girl’s night out). As far as using the bathroom goes, we usually leave the door open for a pee, but we close it for a ‘number 2’. I have zero desire to see, hear, or smell him taking a dump at close quarters, and he feels likewise.
Post # 14
Haha we definitely close the door when we are using the bathroom. We have been together over three years, married for almost one & we havent reached that level of comfort…not sure if we ever will. We also have separate email accounts, he has told me his passwords for email, fb, etc but honestly, i dont remember…i would never snoop in there!! He ALWAYS uses my towel over his for some reason after a shower, dont quite understand that haha. We share my hairbrush & styling products, also my cleansing facial wipes. We also share a bank account.
in the other spectrum of things, there are not many things i dont tell him….like stuff about my family or friends & vice versa…of course if it would embarass a friend or they asked me not to mention it to him, i wouldnt.
pregnancy has really turned into an all new level of things i share with him…good & bad lol