Post # 1
I got an email last night from my uncle with sort of an odd request. He said that of course he in no way wanted to take the attention away from me and my Fiance on our big day, but he was wondering if he could somehow separately arrange with our photographer to take some formal pictures of just his family (him, his wife, and their two daughters) during our wedding day. He told me they haven’t had any professional photos taken as a family in years and he was hoping I could help him arrange it using our wedding photographer on our wedding day.
I was thinking I could say that I could mention it to our second shooter after we finish our formal photos, but only if time permits (that I can’t guarantee it). Obviously he wouldn’t have to pay for it as he offered, as all our photos are included as digital files.
I’d love some feedback from other bees on how to respond.. How far would you go to accomodate this kind of request?
Post # 3
I think this is an odd request, but if you have a second shooter that can do it AFTER you and Fiance get all the pictures that you need and want then let him I guess. But make it clear that if there is no time there is no time and you will not go without pictures that you want on your wedding day so he can take pictures. I think if they want pro pics done then they should go get them done, but not invade on your wedding day and your photographer that already has enough on their plate!
Post # 4
Wow! I think that’s kind of ballsy to ask you. If he wants it that bad why don’t they hire someone to do it???
That being said if I was asked I would probably reply with something similar like you did. And only with the second shooter! Are you taking family portraits? If you are maybe at that point when you’re taking pictures with his family you and husband can step out of frame for 5 seconds.
But then I fear that if you tell him that he would automatically assume it WILL happen. When in reality the shooters -both of them- will be very busy the entire day!
Post # 5
I get that your uncle offered to pay for it, but I can’t help think it’s kinda ballsy to want to take advantage of your wedding photographer. I guess it is completely up to you and how you feel about it. If you don’t mind putting his family on the “must take” list then go for it.
My niece’s wedding photographer offered this at her reception. He had a backdrop put up at the reception and then anyone who wanted their pics taken could do so and then order them from her wedding pics. I’m persoanally not a fan of that as we brides tend to want our photographer to concentrate on getting the wedding, not people’s family shots,etc.
As I said, if youre comfortable with it, go for it. I personally would be a bit taken a back by it all. You’re right in saying you wouldn’t be able to guarantee it
Post # 6
Not knowing anything about your uncle or your relationship with him, I don’t feel right judging him, but my initial reaction was that that is a pretty inappropriate request.
I think your response is the right way to go. You certainly shouldn’t promise him that it’ll happen. This is your wedding, and you can’t go back later to take more pictures. He can always get pictures taken with his family.
Post # 7
My Fiance is a photographer and has shot some weddings. After a wedding he has to sort through thousands of pictures, choose the best ones, and then touch them up. That’s part of why photographers cost so much. So if your photographers work the same way my Fiance does, you’ll have to tell them how important that particular photo is to ensure that you get it, or you’ll have to make special arrangements to have them e-mail it to your uncle. And make sure it doesn’t get put into a photobook. That could be awkward!
Post # 8
Wow! Kudos to you for being so accepting and not immediately turning Bridezilla on this one.. I’m not so sure I’d be able to do the same! I think it’s just plain rude to ask such a request.. what are you supposed to do while his family takes these photos?
As PP said, I would just make it very clear that they can do it IF and only if time permits. You should definitely not have to make any changes to how your day was planned to accomodate them. It’s your day! If they want professional pics they should hire someone..
Post # 9
I’m glad to see other people saying it’s a kind of ballsy request. I was a bit taken aback by this and he didn’t really give me an easy “out” to say no in the email so I feel like I look kind of like a brat if I say we can’t. He just said that they haven’t been all dressed up together in awhile (his daughters are 18 and 22) so it seems like the perfect opportunity.
I’m still not sure exactly what to say to respond that wouldn’t sound rude but also shows that this request is pretty out there and we can’t make any promises it will happen. With 29 days until the wedding, I have a lot of other things to worry about besides if their family can take their own portrait! What would you write back?
Post # 10
Are you doing portraits with extended family?
Post # 11
This happened at a family wedding. The bride didn’t seem to mind and it did not interefere with anything else going on.
The bride actually had the family photos framed and blown up. They were then given to the families as Christmas presents.
It was very sweet and to this day they are hanging in everyone’s homes.
Post # 12
@Gerbera: We will have some formal family photos. To be honest, I want to minimize large group formal photos so my Fiance and I can get as many as possible with just the two of us.
Like I said, we are having a second shooter so it might work but time will be super limited as it is because we’re starting very late. I don’t know if we have time during formal photos to pose them on their own when we have more shots to do, but maybe after we finish or in a different location.
Post # 13
I’m going to go against the grain and say that honestly I don’t really see this as a big deal.
I had 2 photogs at my wedding and we ended up with over 800 photos. And there are some “family portraits” in there with neither my parents, DH’s parents, Darling Husband or I in them.
As long as they don’t expect to have a 20 min photo session but rather a few photos taken quickly, I’d just give the photog a heads up and ask your uncle to be flexible about whether it was taken right after the ceremony or sometime during the reception.
It may be a bit ballsy to ask, but asking now is much better than pulling the photog aside during the reception and asking for the photo then.
Post # 14
I personally am very close to my uncles, if I had a second shooter I would just ask them to please take a moment to take a few shots of my uncle and his family. I dont see it as a huge deal.
Post # 15
@MM423: Depending on your timeline for the day, contract with photographer, etc., you could maybe say something like “We are pretty pressed for time for pictures as it is / Our contract with our photographer doesn’t really allow it / our photographer will only be editing or giving us a certain number of pictures as is / I just don’t see how we can fit that in to the schedule for the day” and then offer to give him the photographer’s contact information so he can set up his own photo session on a completely different day.
Honestly, in my area, getting professional family pictures isn’t that common anyway- especially when your kids are adults. If you know someone who will be at your reception who is a decent amateur photographer you could tell your uncle “X might be able to take pictures of you” and then set that up.
Post # 16
@MM423: It is a little odd, but I don’t think it was completely unreasonable. If I were you, I would check with the photographer and see if the second shooter can take a few shots of your Uncle’s family, maybe during the reception.
As far as a response to your Uncle, I’d just be honest. I’ve found that works best.