How much would you give?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would give the same as if they were having the wedding locally. Maybe I’m stingy but my jaw dropped reading $500. I think I agree with $200

Post # 3
2151 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My SO and I usually gift $150-200 together if we are guests at a wedding. I agree with your SO – if he or I were in the wedding party (and/or the couple is good friends of ours) we would be gifting at least $300-500, probably closer to 500 without traveling, and closer to 300 (at least) with traveling/taking off work. Btw I think that their parents paying has nothing to do with it. It’s a gift, not reimbursement. 

Post # 4
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Just spend what you can afford. 500 seems a pretty steep to me as well

Post # 5
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The fact that his parents are paying has nothing to do with the amount of money the couple should receive. On that note anywhere between $150-$300 is a very nice gift.

Post # 6
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

What does his parents pay have to do with what you give as a gift? I would give $250-300 but definitely not $500

Post # 7
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

500$$ seems steep. Id say 200$ is fair and very generous:)

Post # 8
12884 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was in a bridal party of a good friend who’s wedding was also 4 hours away and had to take a day off for rehearsal dinner, and had her bachelorette party 4 hours away a few weeks earlier.  We gifted 300.

Post # 9
602 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been in several weddings. We always give $250 if either of us are in the BP. Never in a million years would I gift $500. 

Post # 10
6450 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, reading gift amounts on the bee always leaves me a bit shocked. We only received two gifts over $200 and a typical amount in my area ranges from $50-$100. We would give about $100 to a couple we are close with, however, that is the norm in our area.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 12
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MrsBeck:  I’m with you.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a wedding gift (in the form of cash/check) over $50 in my area.  Unless it’s something directly off the registry.  My jaw dropped at the $200….let alone suggesting $500 LOL

Post # 13
2878 posts
Sugar bee

MissPoutine:  Here guests offer money gift, and generally, if they can afford to give 200$ per couple (or more, if they’re close to us) that’s what they’ll give. So I’ll definitely be looking to offer anywhere within the 100-200$ range as well. 500$ feels like a lot, I would expect more like a godmother to offer this amount of money, it is not usual to see this amount, yet it does happen. 😉 

Everything else you’ve said (taking off time at a job, paying for a hotel) is, IMO, irrelevant to the question. It is your SO’s choice to take days off to attend. It shouldn’t influence the amount you’re giving. It’s not relevant that it’s the couple’s parents paying either ; you’re celebrating the couple, it doesn’t matter who paid what. 

Post # 14
6685 posts
Bee Keeper

  A gift is supposed to be  based on the closeness of the relationship and your budget, nothing else.  That said, more often than not there is  going rate which  can be very a very regional thing, and also depend on your social circles.  I will assume you are young and just starting out yourselves. Unless you are trust fund babies, or have incomes and savings that would make a $500 gift meaningless, there’s no way that kind of gift is either necessary or expected.   

The time and money spent on getting to the affair are not considered to be related. It’s similar to a destination wedding in the sense that one should not agree to any obligations they can’t swing or afford in the first place. 

Post # 15
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d say that $200 sounds very fair. 

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors