Post # 1
I’m hoping all of you can help guide me. I’m not sure what to give to an old high school friend for his wedding. I’ve only been to relatives’ weddings before, and the rules are a bit strange within my family. FI and I have no idea how much we should give to a friend. We’ve purchased a nice card to go with our gift.
So here’s the situtation (and sorry for the essay in advance):
My FI and I have an old high school friend who is getting married in about two weeks. We are all in our mid-20s (at least I think the bride is).
The two of us were invited by text message two or three weeks ago, so the only thing we really know is that the venue is about hour and a half to two hours away (in a small town). From looking on the venue’s website, it seems like one of those all-inclusive places (a gazebo for the ceremony and a building or tent for the reception). Everything is supposed to start at 7 or so, so I’m guessing there will be dinner.
We were good friends, but we have not seen this friend for about 2 to 3 years, and we’ve never met the bride. We’re happy to go celebrate their marriage with them, but are unsure of what amount to give as a gift. We had a look at their Amazon wedding registry, and there’s nothing we can afford but the Amazon gift cards (the other gifts are $1500 to $3000).
If you and your SO were attending this wedding, how much would you plan to give them from the two of you?
Thank you for making it through the essay!
Post # 3
I would probably give $100 because in my family and culture we usually try to give $50 for each person who attends. If the couple is VERY close to us then we would generously give more.
I do find it odd that you got invited through text and that they have expensive stuff on their registry that are $1500 to $3000. That’s pretty unheard of to me. Maybe it’s just me.
Post # 4
If I was invited via text message? A nice card and that’s it. This seems very gift grabby. Why would they invite someone they hadn’t seen in a few years via text?
Post # 5
Very odd situation, being invited via text and all.
For a friend that I wasn’t close with I would spend $25-$50.
Post # 6
If we were just high school friends and got a TEXT INVITATION to the wedding… not more than $100. Maybe less, but most people know we make good money so we’d look real cheap at $50.
This is tainted by my 32 years of friends coming and going from my life, however. Take with a grain of salt. 🙂
Post # 7
I agree. You have not seen him in 2 or 3 years and you get an invitation via text. Sounds like you were on the “B” or “C” list.. I am not sure i would even go, but $25 or $50 if I did.
Post # 8
So normally we go for about $100 at weddings, more for a close friend (we’re in our early-mid 20’s). But since you haven’t seen him in years, and got invited short notice via text…I would say $50-$75 is totally fine
Post # 9
Usually my fiancé and I give $50 worth of a gift or cash. We’ve never received an invite by text before. Had that been the case, probably just a card.
Post # 10
I generally give $100+ each (so in this case would be $200), but you were clearly invited last minute. I’ve been invited last minute before- over facebook the week before, and I just said that I’m not going.
If I had went, I’d probably give $75 each, but I’d seriously consider saying yes to that type of invitation.
Post # 11
Since the invitation was via text and it was clearly a last minute invitation, I would either not attend (and send a small $50 max gift) or attend and spend at most $100, if I anticipate that it will be a standard wedding with cocktail hour + meal (vs just cake and punch).
Ordinarily, DH and I spend up to $200 but that’s when we get a normal invitation.
Post # 12
I know this isn’t quite what you asked but I would never attend a wedding if I were invited via text and didn’t know any of the details.
My standard gift for SO + me is $100. It was $50 when we were both in college although I’ve come to learn (thanks Bee!) that that was probably too little.
Post # 13
Thank you for all of the comments and answers so far ladies! I thought getting an invitation via text was strange.
Post # 14
@yumiyumi: Whatever you can reasonably afford without going into debt or sacrificing any of your own goals. If that is $50, then it’s $50. It doesn’t sound like you are very close with this couple anyway or that you were on their original invitee list. Personally, I wouldn’t even go.
Post # 15
@yumiyumi: I typically give $200 or more for the both of us, but in your case, I don’t think I’d go at all. Or if I did, maybe give $100 total. It sounds like they didn’t get enough RSVPs and they needed to meet a minimum at their venue so they decided to dig around and see who else they could invite. Text msg imo is very rude. At least follow up the text msg by sending an official invite.
Post # 16
I should have read the whole thing prior to voting. A text invite drops the gift amount. If its a BBQ or informal 75 with a small gift. If its semi formal 100 with a small gift.