Post # 1
Lets say you and your spouse were invited to a casual wedding get together of a couple that you’re not particularly close to (i.e. see them 2-3 times a year, talk via FB every few months). They are not actually hosting a reception of any kind, just friends getting together for drinks late in the evening (after dinner). All of the guests would be responsible for their own bill. What do you think an appropriate gift would be? Also note, the couple requested “contributions” instead of actual gifts on the invite. I’ve never been to anything like this so any input is helpful, thanks ladies 🙂
Post # 2
I’d probably give them a picture frame esque gift
Post # 3
I would not give more than $50.
Post # 4
Personally, I’d just get them a card. It’s just a get together and they are not paying for anything.
Post # 5
housebee: Hmm, I would probably give somewhere in the $50-75 range, given that I’m not that close to the couple. Edit to say : that would also include my contribution.
However, I’m surprised they didn’t suggest a number. I’m quite familiar with contributions because in Québec, many couples request guests for one that covers either their meal, either part of their meal. So what guests usually do is if they planned on offering $100, but the contribution asked for is $50, the other $50 will be given as a separate gift (card, envelope the day of), or they’ll just send a $100 cheque with the RSVP. If your situation is more like an informal get together, then maybe 30$ each is enough of a gift if you’re responsible for your own meal. It depends how much it costs. Or, the couple only expects you to pay for the meal and nothing else. It’s not clear. That’s why although the practice I’ve described to you isn’t ”okay” etiquette-wise (but is widely practiced here), it still allows more precision about gifts and expectations than not talking about money at all. 😛
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
Man, requesting contributions makes me want to give less. Does that make me mean? I don’t feel anyone should actually request a gift or expect it. Plus paying your own bill. 50$ and I feel generous with that. If you werent paying your own dinner or being asked for a contribution then I’d give more.
I’ve never heard of contributions in my area. Just the standard registry gifts or giving enough cash to cover your plate at a wedding. ( 200$ if it’s 100$ a head and there’s 2 of you).
Post # 7
Oof polling 101, don’t make the best choices where two poll options intersect (I’d vote $50)
Post # 8
$0 but I have little patience or forgiveness for rude people.
Post # 9
housebee: Hmm…do you really WANT to go? I probably wouldn’t bother and just send a card if the relationship was that casual.
Post # 10
housebee: Yes, do you really want to go? It sounds like you are not hot to trot on this. Since it’s just a friendly get together after dinner, I think a card with nothing is fine or a card and a bottle of champagne or their favorite wine is plenty.
Post # 11
Requesting contributions is very gauche to me, as is not hosting any portion of the event, so I’d probably decline to go. I’d send a card with my best wishes.
Post # 12
It honestly wouldn’t occur to me to give anything in this situation. It’s a pay-your-own-way after-dinner drinks get-together (so many hyphens, ha)? It seems like a chance for people to say congrats and raise a glass with the couple, but not an occasion for giving money.
But if I REALLY felt pressured to give something, I would at most slip a $50, or 2 $20s, into a card.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant
They want everyone to foot their own bill yet they want “contributions”? Contributions towards what exactly?
I would give friends $50, even if they didnt have a regular reception. If we are invited to a wedding and decline, we still give $50 or so. Getting married is an exciting time and I want them to know we care about them.
Post # 14
I’d give a card and a bottle of wine or champagne.
Post # 15
I’d bring a gift anyway with a gift reciept. Hopefully they would appreciate the gift, but if they’re having a cash-grab moment, they can drive to sears and wait in line for it.