How often do you and your SO fight?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How often do you and your SO fight?
    Never! Rainbows, butterfiles and unicorns covered in glitter define our relationship! : (28 votes)
    11 %
    Once a year or so : (47 votes)
    18 %
    Once a month or so : (61 votes)
    23 %
    Once a week or so : (51 votes)
    20 %
    Once a day or so : (12 votes)
    5 %
    Once ever few months : (47 votes)
    18 %
    Once every few weeks : (14 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3989 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m going to be the annoying person that says, “Never!”.  But there is an explanation.  I can get angry at him and yell at him and he apologizes.  So I don’t really consider that a “fight”…haha.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2042 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @FutureMrsGG:  We disagree here and there, but an actual fight.  Maybe 1 x a month or even 1x in a 2-3 month span.  It depends. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I voted never cause we don’t!  Sometimes he’ll annoy me and I’m sure me and my kid annoy him but we just let it slide. We love each other and fighting doesnt do any good!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We disagree all the time. We bicker often, but its usually just because one of us is in a bad mood about something unrelated to our relationship. We really don’t fight that much. I wouldn’t say never, but not a lot. I’m always amused when someone tells me that a relationship isn’t healthy unless you regularly fight. That just tells me that they fight a lot and them thinking that its healthier is how they rationalize it.

    Anyway, in 13 years we have had one “major” fight and even that wasn’t major. We don’t yell at each other and we don’t cuss at one another. Ever. We’re both big on communication and I think that helps deter us from a lot of problems. As soon as one of us is unhappy or peeved we talk about it. If my DH is upset about something unrelated to our relationship, then I just give him some space to cool off and he does the same for me. But within our relationship itself we really don’t fight. Its pretty great 🙂 We just so happen to have very similar arguing styles, so I think that helps A LOT.

    FWIW I grew up with parents that fought ALL the time. It was miserable. I try my best to avoid that. I don’t avoid conflict, because I think sometimes its necessary, but I just try to prevent insignificant things from escalating to the point of blow up arguments.

    Post # 7
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee

    We are both extremley laid back therefore arguments rarely occur. We have had disagreements but it has never become what I would call an argument where apologies are required at the end. This isn’t necesserilly a good thing by the way, it can lead to built up frustration however it is what comes naturally to both of us.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6740 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would say we only have a fight about every 3 months, so like maybe 4 times a year?

    Post # 9
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee

    I guess it depends on how you define a fight?  We probably irritate each other at least once or twice a week TBH.  For example, he leaves the cabinets open and I say something or I relocate the remote and he says something.  But an actual sitdown, “we need to talk this” out issue?  Very very rarely.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1951 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We’ve gotten into 3 “fights” since we’ve been together (about 2.5 years). I say it that way because they’re more like disagreements and we’re generally over them in an hour or so. So for the most part, we’re glitter, rainbows, bunnies, ponies, sparkles, all that jazz. 

    My dad gave me the best piece of marriage advice ever when he said “you know, I never understood why people think they have to fight to make a relationship work. You don’t. You can be happy pretty much all the time.”

    The FI and I were both in relationships prior to each other that consisted mainly of fighting. Looking back now, we didn’t know any better… until we met each other, and it was like, oh, DUH, this is what it’s supposed to be like!

    Post # 11
    Member
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We don’t really ever bicker or argue. We get along amazingly well and almost always agree. However, every couple of months we will have a fight! For us a fight may be yelling and cussing but never name calling or low blows. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    It comes and goes. We’ll go months where we hardly even have a disagreement. Then we’ll hit a period of a few weeks where we’ll “fight” several times. I hesitate to say fight, because it’s not like we scream or get angry. We mostly disagree and talk about it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I said once a year – about that or less. I can clearly recall three big fights in our 5/6 year relationship, with those being the kind where we actually yelled and were both legitimately mad at one another, and had to both apologize for hurtful things that were said.

    We have a pretty firm belief in fair fighting now, and try to stick to rules about not yelling, not swearing at one another, trying to clearly state the problem without getting upset. He almost never gets upset while I have a much quicker temper, so it’s been harder for me to learn to communicate better. We’re pretty good at just saying “This thing is pissing me off” and having it resolved immediately. We do like to annoy the hell out of each other for fun all the time, though.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @FutureMrsGG:  I feel like we don’t fight very often if ever. We can disagree and have arguments but we aren’t reduced to tears, couch-sleeping, days of not talking, etc. Is that what you mean by fighting?

    In the 5+ years together, we’ve only had one big fight and even that wasn’t a terrible, name calling, dramatic fight. We thought we were going to break up over the children issue so we both had very deep and sad feelings but we worked it out. We were pretty quiet for a few days but we came together. Once every 5 years is good for me.

    @KateByDesign: +1 

    Post # 16
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @FutureMrsGG:  The only time we had a serious argument is when looking for an apartment. He was hesitant on the price and I had done a lot of research and understood the market in our city and didn’t want to compromise on location to cheap out (at the time we currently lived in a cheap 1 bedroom in a somewhat sketchy area).

    Things got a bit heated but when I gave him all the facts he understood that his price range was the cheapest you could find a 2BM and we would have to end up in another sketchy neighbourhood. We didn’t need to go to the other extreme but found a good mid-range where we were comfortable.

    We ended up choosing a place that he found and we love it!

    Then the wedding planning started LOL……..

    For me it was some learning on my part as I often let things go for too long until I’m very frustrated and upset. If I had flagged it earlier it likely wouldn’t have gotten so heated in the first place. 

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