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So just curious to see how often you check the phone, Facebook, Twitter, Text, E-Mail account of your SO ( I probably forgot a few options... sorry!)
Feel free to add your comment/thoughts/opinions on the matter!
I will go ahead and say my situation... I do not make a habit of checking into anything nor do I feel the need to. My FI has a FB but barely uses it, and he asks me to answer his phone, check who is calling/write a text back to whoever just called or sent a text and his email is almost always pulled up and full of spam mail.
I feel like if your SO is going to sneak around, they're going to do it whether you check their phone or not. THAT said-- I once dated a guy for three years who did put a password on his phone and would keep girls numbers in his phone under guys' names... so I definitely think some shady things can go on with or without you every finding out! ( I didn't find out until much, much later).
Just curious to see if it is something that goes on a lot or just every so often ( or never!)
If i have forgotten an option... please feel free to add one in the comment section!
I am a combination of the above. I could go through it at free will. I have access to everything and he often leaves stuff open on the computer. But other than a cursory glace at whose account is logged in, I dont. Never had a reason to check anything.
And similar to the OP if someone is driving we will answer/respond to people on the others phone etc.
I dont! Unless he asks me to for him. And even then I feel weird about it. He's never given me cause/reason to do it; so why dig?
We have exchanged passwords in case of an emergency but thats it!
You forgot the "Never" option which is what I would fall under. I have no reason to check his accounts. I never look at his phone, email, facebook messages, etc. Sometimes he asks me to check his email if he's expecting something, but I don't go snooping around. I know his passwords and he's fine with that because there's nothing to hide.
I never have logged into his accounts :) Now that is not to say I did not find a way to internet stalk him a few years ago when he went through a period we fondly know as his "idiot from h*ll time" which proved my suspicios nature was spot on lol but now I have no reason and have no passwords :)
We have access to each others stuff, but never use it to snoop. There is no need, for us at least. But, we could each easily access anything for the other person if there was a need. There is no mystery, so to me that equals very little to no risk.
It also helps that we were both cheated on in prior relationships, so we have been very up front on how we would stop it from happening if it were to ever come up, and there is no need to look at the other persons stuff unless asked to
I voted for the first option because it's as close to "never" as the options get.
The only acct I've ever logged into of his is his amazon account to see what a package is that is waiting at our concierge service (i.e. is it really heavy/big? or can I carry it home).
I have no need to check his e-mail or anything else.
I voted Do not do it on a regular basis but I really don't do it at all. If he's driving he may ask me to text a reply to somebody but thats really the only time I ever touch his phone. He uses the same password for everything but I just see 0 reason to check in on what he's doing.
Never.
I mean, I guess if he asked me to I would, but there's nothing on his accounts that I'm particularly interested in so why would I?
Never. Though we do ask who called/texted/emailed if we hear each others phone's going off and if we care to know.
We don't feel the need to go through each other's belongings. I can't stand it when people do it either. REGARDLESS, everyone is their own person. Everyone has a right to their own privacy. If you have issues, then you need to get them resolved before you committ to someone in ANY WAY. Just plain stupid and childish.
Only if he asks me to. I'm not one for snooping. It's a terrible habit, imo.
I go on DH's email account if there is something that I need to take care of (like bill related) and that I know he won't. Other than that, I have no reason to check his email.
We are always leaving our facebooks and emails open around the house all the time. I really have no issues with him looking at my email account and he doesn't mind me looking at his, but neither of us spend a lot of time looking at each other's accounts. Usually we only see them just as we're logging out or flipping to another website lol.
That said, I think having it all out in the open makes it obvious to both of us that neither of has anything to hide!
I have all of his login names and passwords and he has mine. I use them occasionally, but only when he asks me to. For example, he was once out golfing, got a text that he got a Facebook message, so called me and asked me to go on his Facebook and answer it.
But I don't ever go on them just to look around or check up on him. I don't have any reason to suspect anything and I would feel like I was invading his privacy. If there was something there I needed to know, he'd tell me.
FI doesn't have a FB account and I never even think to touch his phone and read his text messages. Occasionally his phone will be closer to me when he gets a text, and he asks me to read it to him, but that's the only time his phone is ever in my hand.
I do see his email often because he's always logged in...and I have to log out to check my own email...but there's nothing in there of any interest to me so it's never even crossed my mind to snoop.
I usually leave my FB open on the computer and he gets on it sometimes, just to see what a few friends have been up to since he doesn't have an account of his own.
Never (anymore). I do not have his email/fb/etc login information, nor does he have mine. And we (almost) never use each others computer.
I check it if he asks me to but I wouldn't go snooping through his accounts. He leaves his logged in/open all the time though so it really wouldn't be a big deal to him if I did go through his emails/facebook.
I voted the first option in place of Never. I answer his phone if he isn't right there, most of his calls are nextel chirps anyway. He does have an email account, but doesn't know how to get into it, and I just set him up with facebook yesterday. He doesn't care about all that stuff, he will be marrying me, and I will share him with his fishing pole.
My ex on the other hand, he was dumb. Had me set up his email for him, but didn't know how to change his password. So he started acting strange, I got the vibes, checked his email and found the messages where he was planning dates and discussing them with the other woman!!!
YEP, that would be why he is the EX!!!
I have access to everything but have never taken advantage of it. Occasionally I may see a text if i'm handing him his phone, or an email subject line if he leaves his browser open to Gmail and I am printing something out on his computer, but I never intentionally snoop.
I go through it sometimes and I'm not ashamed! :-) Lots of bees will be condescending about this subject, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I've seen too many men be shady and read too many stories of blind trust to say that I would never go through anything of his. I don't do it every day...I've only done it about 3 times since we've been together, but I feel no qualms about it.
I'll reply to texts/calls if he's driving. I will sometimes glance at emails/texts mostly because he's bad at telling me things are going on. Like forgetting to tell me that a family member is pregnant, or so-and-so RSVP'd.
I don't actually have his email password, but if he leaves it open I might glance. He pretty much has all my passwords and doesn't go through anything regularly that I know of besides Facebook. and that's because he never uses his own, so he uses mine instead.
It's definitely not a trust thing. We trust each other, sometimes I'm just nosy and want to know what's going on :)
Never. Checking something for him because he asked me to is different (as in, he asks me to answer his phone while he's driving, and I do the same).
If I felt had to check up on him, I wouldn't be marrying him.
I/we don't unless asked to. For instance, if my phone was ringing or I got a text and was in the other room I'd ask him who was calling or what the text said and vice versa. We're pretty open but don't go through each others stuff.
I'm in the never catagory too. The only account of FI's that I even know the password to is Ebay/Paypal. We have passwords in our phones too. FI's stuff is private mostly for work reasons, in case someone gets ahold of his phone they can't get sensitive info. Mine to protect the people in my address book in case I lose my phone. FI reads me texts and shows me stuff on him FB all the time, but I don't have one to share. We trust each other completely. so it's not an issue for us.
I don't have access and I'm fine with that. We may be getting married, but we're still individual people and entitled to a little privacy in our lives. I don't use my email or other accounts to do anything that would hurt him or embarrass me, but that doesn't mean I would welcome him opening up my email and reading stuff that I've sent my friends, etc.
I went with 'other' because was no 'never' option. I second what one of the previous posters said, if I felt like I had to check up on him I wouldn't be marrying him. I'm pretty sure his feelings are mutual.
@Mrs.Oat:Very well said! Perfect! I don't understand how anyone can think it's ok to snoop.
I don't check his stuff as much as I used to, but in the beginning it was because of some trust issues we were having. We would both read each other's texts a lot when we were having issues, but we worked through all of it and don't feel the need to now. Now if I do, its usually to check his bank balance or something like that that he doesn't really stay on top of. He never overdraws his account, but he never knows how much he has in there either. So he always asks me how much he has before he makes a big purchase lol. Or I'll say, "Hey hon, you need to check your FB because your cousin sent you..." because he never does otherwise. Its just not a big deal for us when we trust each other. He logs on to my FB sometimes for some of the games he plays on there. We almost never open each other's mail though.
Never, I do have access to them but don't unless he asks me to look something up for him
I never do. FI doesn't have a facebook, he does have a myspace but he hasn't logged in to it in over a year. I have his email password because I set it up for him but I never check it. And his phone he has a blackberry so if its in his pocket he keeps it locked so that he doesn't pocket dial. But I have responded to texts for him, etc & I'm not worried about him doing anything behind my back.
@BackyardLoveBird: I'm with you on this. No, I really don't have a reason to... but I say what's the harm if he doesn't have anything to hide anyways? Hell, I caught him looking at my phone last night while I was washing my face and he certainly doesn't have any reason to...
I voted "Other" as in NEVER. I respect his privacy and expect the same respect from him. I had an ex who didn't believe that couples should have ANY secrets, and I felt smothered by that. I was offended he would snoop through my email and "private" journals. Everybody needs to have SOMETHING that is theirs alone. I trust my husband and so I've never had cause to check any of those things.
I can at free will if I wanted to. But, I have no need to do so.
I have all of his log in info for everything, but don't use it unless he asks me to.
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