Weddingbee boards

My FI and I go about once a month.

I'm a once a year kind of girl.  I really should go more often because I feel sooo much better afterwards, but I always feel awkward and so I procrastinate and only go usually during Lent or Advent.

PS - Anyone else always go to a random parish?  I NEVER have gone to my own church.  My husband and I both know our priest pretty well and I just can't bring myself to to go him.

UGH!!! Whenever I push my backspace button twice, my browser goes back and I keep losing my post. Its starting to tick me off. So, for the third time, I will write this:

@Arancia: Sure!

Okay, first the "confessing" part. Confessing means telling someone else our sins and owning up to the fact that we aren't perfect. Most Protestant friends of mine confess in some form, usually they will tell their sins to one another. We could just "confess" our sins to God, but he already knows what we did. So we can't just say "well, I'll just tell God what I did, and then I don't have to tell anyone else, and then I can save face." The point is owning up to the fact that we fall short. Doing that aloud really, really, makes a difference.

Second, the "apologizing". We tell God that we are sorry for our sins. We can do that anywhere, anytime. No part of Catholicism says that you can only say you are sorry during confession. We do it in Mass, too. But it is part of the confession process. We say a prayer directly to God, not to the Priest, not through the Priest. We just say a prayer to God. It goes like this:

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
                  In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,
                  I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things.
                  I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more,
                  and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
                  Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.
                  In His name, my God, have mercy.
                  Amen.

Then, the "forgiving" part. God has forgiven us of our sins through Jesus Christ. The Priest isn't the one with some almighty power to decide whose sins are forgiven and whose aren't. The priest prays to God that he might forgive our sins, but it is God who forgives our sins. The Priest acts as a representative of Christ and lets us know that God forgave us of our sins. It's one of those theologically confusing who does what kinda points. But basically - confession is between you and God, the Priest is there to lend an ear and to pray for us. 

Last, the "penance." So, when you wrong someone, what do you usually say, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, what can I do to make it up to you?" Penance doesn't mean that "if you do X, your sins will be forgiven." It's an opportunity for us to show our remorse. Its one thing to be forgiven, but when we wrong someone, we like to then repair that bridge. Usually a penance is something like "say 3 Our Fathers" or "Donate 2 cans of food to the food drive." Its just a step in rebuilding the relationship that we've injured. 

@yrret107: My understanding it isn't really for confession, its basically an app version of an examination of conscience. You still can't dial in the confession!

I go usually about once a year, which I am okay with, but then I always get the "welcome back, don't stay away next time" speech, so I wonder how often people go! I thought I was doing pretty good!

It's hard to drag myself to go, but I am always glad I did.

@june42011:  The church where I go for confessio has a little cheat sheet taped up.  It helps a lot when I'm a bit nervous, especially with the Act of Contrition.

@june42011: I feel the exact same way, I wouldn't know what to do and how, besides that I'm a very shy person and wouldn't be able to talk about anything. The last time I went was when I was required to do so in school.

@CantWaittillMAY: THIS also. As well, SO and I live together and we aren't even engaged?

My home parish had a very judgmental priest, who would go on long rants during the homily about people who don't go to church (preaching to the choir?). He was generally a very authorative person and when I prepared for my first confession, he was really intimidating.  I felt HORRIBLE after confession.  Guess what, he didn't like the way my group confessed, so he made us do it a second time before he let us receive our first communion.  After that was when I was done with confession. I agree with StepinPA.

I talked about it with FH the other week, because apparently, we have a different idea of what needs to be confessed. He went to confession and couldn't understand why I wouldn't go. I asked him whether he confessed that we live together. He said no, it wasn't necessary to mention specific sins. He thinks you just have to generally say that you try to be a good person but do not always succeed. I was brought up by said scary priest who made us recite every sin we ever commited. When I went to confession, I was seriously scared about going to hell for not mentioning any that I couldn't remember anymore.

@AprilJo2011: When I made my first confession I thought I had to remember every. single. time I ever hit my sister. I think I got up to about 16 and was worried that I didn't remember it all.

We're forgiven for all sins after confession, even the ones we didn't mention (usually I just hit the big 2 or 3) even though I am remembering all of them in my heart because priests don't want to spend 6 hours in the confessional. If we purposefully omit something cause we aren't sorry for it, then that doesn't count. 

I hope you find a nicer priest if you go again!