How often do you or your DH/SO hang out with friends?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d definitely be annoyed too. I mean, sure, occasionally weeks are going to happen like that but when it starts to occur several times a month then it’s an issue. DH started to do that a few years ago. So I added up how much he had spent going out with his friends. I showed him that had he limited to one time a week he could have had this big ticket item he had wanted. He wasn’t happy with himself so now he rarely goes out. For my dh, I know I can get his attention through his pocketbook.

Post # 4
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@tksjewelry:  +1.  There will be occasional weeks like that but I wouldn’t deal well with one of those weeks more often than every 5 or so weeks.

@Daizy914:  Nope not PMS, not unreasonable at all!  My FI and I tiffed over this a several months ago, during the beginning of fantasy football.  Since then he has kept it in check.  But I know we’ll go through it again next fall with the start of football.  Outside of that he will have busy social weeks here & there but we keep a good balance for the most part and it’s not a source of friction.

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Daizy914:  To be honest, almost never. We socialize as a couple between 1 and 5 times per month depending on our mood and what’s going on. We also spend a ton of time with my siblings. Sometimes he will go off golfing with my brother while I hang out with my SIL but I still consider that couple stuff. 

I’m sure a bazillion people will tell me I’m controlling and this is unhealthy…except it’s a mutual decision and not something I force on him. We both prefer it this way. When we aren’t at work, we prefer to be together. 10+ hours a day apart for work is more than enough for us. 

Post # 7
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Like once or twice a week….every two weeks or so…maybe??  we often socialize as a couple, since we are still newlyweds.   He’ll occasionally go hang without me with some mutual friends or his brother, which is fine.  But its not like every night of the week, which I would find annoying tbh.

 

Post # 8
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@Daizy914:  it varies, some weeks I feel like he won’t even leave the house and others it seems like I never see him! He probably goes out with his friends exclusively a few times per month and we do couple things a few times a month. A lot of our social calendar revolves around sporting events and the season– so it always feels really “blah” right now with cold, smushy weather and no football!

Post # 9
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

FI will see his friends often once a week without me BUT I am always invited and very welcome to be there. I usually decide not to go because they’ll go out after work and I feel too exhausted. I’m also just much less social and sometimes preffer the time alone. It’s much less often that I am out with friends without FI because none of my friends live in the same city as me. So over holidays or whenever I’m back in my home town I spend a lot more time with friends. Occasionally a friend will come visit me (1-2/year) and I will spend the weekend hanging out with them. More often we socialize as a couple. Most of FI’s friends are married so we are often getting together with other couples.

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We live 8 hours away from our friends. So… Pretty much never!

When we visit Vermont I plan a girl’s night with my friends, and when we’re in New York he generally goes to the casino with his guy friends. But that’s abut it!

Post # 11
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We rarely socialise without each other. But I have a couple of evenings a week when I am out doing hobbies. Dancing one night Archery the other. Those nights DH always says he will swim….but ususally stays home. If we are out socailly its usually togther.

Post # 12
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsPanda99:  This is us too. 

I would be extremely annoyed if DH were gone 2-4 nights a week. Not only do I enjoy spending time with him, but we have a house to take care of and i have 2 kids that love him to death and want to spend time with him. 

Post # 13
mswallabyBee
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

Once a week, sometimes once every other week. Most of our friends are other couples, so we love hanging out with the group or going on double-dates. I LOVE having girls’ nights, though, and DH likes going out with the guys a couple times a month. 

Post # 14
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Daizy914:  a month. It didn’t take long to add up to that big tool thingy he wanted. I’d say the month I put up with it was well worth it in the long term. A week or two the numbers don’t really have the same impact as a month or two’s. 

Post # 15
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Once a week or so, usually.  He has a standing Wednesday night date with a buddy of his – Indian buffet and games (CCGs, board games or minis games).  I started taking a class on Thursday nights and I’m starting to become friendly with the people there.

Post # 16
Member
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Daizy914:  I see my girls, one on one maybe 1-2x a month.  Same with him and his guys.  We live far away from our friends though.  I have also stolen his guy friends wives as my friends as well so most of the time we all hang out together or the guys do something and us girls go do something.  Which reminds me, I need to write one of the wives back! Oops!

I would be a little upset if DH went out several times a week.  We had that issue in the past when I worked weekends.  He made plans every weekend with his friends.  Then I got a day off and he was like oh….  Then I got a job that I didnt work weekends, it was great for me but it took him some time to get used to it.  Good and bad, he was so used to being alone on the weekends that he just made plans without thinking.  He was glad he got to spend time with me but it was an adjustment.  I used to get so pissy when I had to spend my days off without him cause he was with his guys.  Its all different now!

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