- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
We seem to see a LOT of my future in laws. When I first met my fiance, I knew he came from a close family and figured I would see them a lot, but didn’t know exactly how much. So at first, we saw them 1-2 times a week, which was quite overwhelming for me b/c my parents are divorced, do not live closer than an hour and a half away from me (mom is 1.5 hrs away; dad & stepmom plus their kids are 4 hours away)… then it died down to seeing the future in-laws to about once every other week, somtimes more, but never less.
Sometimes this would cause me stress b/c I feel like every free moment we got to relax, his parents would be calling my fi to ask what we were up to that weekend…whether it be to go out to their house for dinner (they live about 25-30 min away from us).. go up north to visit extended family for the weekend, etc.
So it turned into my fi and I arguing over it.. b/c I would get worked up and just want some ‘us’ time, or perhaps, even ‘me’ time. I felt like we didn’t need to see them once a week, or more often than that.. so it slowed down from time to time, but then would pick back up again.
I told him a few weeks ago, that I don’t mind when he goes out to his parents by himself, whether it be to just hang out, or if our vehicle needed an oil change, etc. I think it might have hurt his feelings a bit but he said he was fine with it and understands we don’t always need to go together. It’s not like I NEVER see his parents, I just feel like I don’t need to see them once a week.
Well, last Tuesday night we met them for dinner. While eating, they mentioned us coming out to their house on Friday (3 days later) to eat dinner with them at their church. I didn’t say anything b/c I don’t want to make decisions for me and fi, or fi alone. So we left dinner w/ that option out on the table. My fi didn’t say anything to me about it all week so I asked him last night if we were planning on going out there. He replied with “I figured we weren’t b/c you don’t like to see them more than once a week”. Ouch… he is right, but I still feel bad he KNOWS that. But honestly, once a week is A LOT, let alone TWICE a week…
Basically, I just want to know if I’m being way rude? I never EVER say anything to their faces about not wanting to see them all the time… its not like I don’t like them.. b/c I do.. they are nice people, but I just don’t feel the need to see them ALL. the. time.
Sorry for the long post 🙂