I have a few questions about how often the bees interact with their parents.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
-How often do you see them?
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
-How far away are they from you?
-And finally, how old are you?
Thank you bees! I'm trying to find out if my family is really as weird as I think it is. And if my parents' expectations of me are normal or not. :/ I'll answer my own questions later.
I'm closer to my mom than my dad. We're pretty close.
I see my mom once every 1-2 weeks.
We take turns visiting each other. We usually meet at a restaurant closer to one of us.
My husband usually comes unless he is out of town or we are just shopping/doing girl stuff.
I only really talk to my mom on the phone to make plans. I talk to my dad about once a month, usually over email.
My mom lives 15 minutes away. My dad lives 4 states away.
I'm 29.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, I would say so
-How often do you see them? Normally only a few times a month.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Normally with my mom we do both but with my dad I come to him or we see each other at family gatherings.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Normally my DH comes along, same with his parents. If he goes I go.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Mom- twice a week. Dad- every other maybe.
-How far away are they from you? 10-15 mins.
-And finally, how old are you? I'm 29
-No, my dad is dead and my mom is crazy. She is more focused on her drunk boyfriend then her daughters.
-I see my mother maybe 6 times a year.
-I have to go see her or we'll see each other at my sisters house. She never comes to see me.
-No, my husband can't stand her because of how she treats me.
-Maybe 20 times a year.
-She lives 10 minutes from my house.
-I'm 23.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, very close
-How often do you see them? Once a week on average but they only live 20 minutes away so it is easier
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Split evenly.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He always comes
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? My dad, hardly, but my mom has given me a good morning text every weekday morning for the last 6 years
-How far away are they from you? 20 minutes
-And finally, how old are you? 24
As for my in laws, DH talks to them maybe twice a week on the phone. They live an hour away, but we always have to go there. His dad says it is unnecessary for them to come to us until we have kids becuase that's the way it is suppose to be. DH and his dad are not close and his mom is super clingy. His mom wishes were would visit more often, but when we ask her to come to out place she never does.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, although I don't usually tell everything to my mother (for my own sanity), I feel very close to her and I can just tell her everything and the same thing goes with my dad. We have a very close relationship.
-How often do you see them? It depends. If I'm super busy with school and work, I usually don't see them for months, but talk to them often. I usually see them about once a month on average.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I usually visit them, but they come sometimes too. When I visit them, I see my in-laws as well so it's usually us traveling.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? My husband comes with me to visit my parets 99% of the time and we stay at my parent's house every time.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Every other day or at least once a week.
-How far away are they from you? It's a 2 hour drive from here.
-And finally, how old are you? I'm 25 :)
EDIT: YES! My parents love my SO
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? YES! I'm very close with my parents. My mom is my bff
-How often do you see them? 4 times a year
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? We go to each other's once a year and then we normally take our big vacations with my parents.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? DH ALWAYS comes
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? daily
-How far away are they from you? 2500 miles
-And finally, how old are you? 28
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes
-How often do you see them? Maybe 3-4 times per year.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I normally visit. My father died 7 years ago and my mother won't drive where I live. She lives in a tiny town and I live in the Baltimore-metro area.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He normally goes.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? 4-5 times/week
-How far away are they from you? 6-7 hours
-And finally, how old are you? 44
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? I don't think we're close, I don't feel close to them.
-How often do you see them? Once a year, I can't stand how they live and it makes me severely depressed.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I always have to go see them. If they were to come see me, they'd be bringing the dog, my sister and her baby. I don't have the space or the patience and they would never ever stay in a hotel.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He has to come, otherwise I wouldn't go.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? I try to talk to my mom once a week but if I didn't talk to her for months at a time it wouldn't phase me.
-How far away are they from you? 3.5-4 hours depending on who's driving.
-And finally, how old are you? 26
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes very much so.
-How often do you see them? Every other day?
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Split evenly.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Almost never goes to see them with me. He is a home body.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Almost every day or every other day.
-How far away are they from you? They are each a mile away from us. (My parents are divorced so I see my dad & step mom more then my real mom)
-And finally, how old are you? 20 almost 21. (3 more months lol)
People may think it is really weird how much I talk/see my parents. To me its normal. I was raised in a very tight knit family. My family are my friends. I don't go hang out with other people from high school or work. My siblings have always been who I hang out with and both of them live at my parents house. Plus I have the first grandchild so we go over there to visit alot.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, I get along with my parents. I enjoy spending time with them. And we don't argue or fight often.
-How often do you see them? Probably once a week, more right now as I am so close to my wedding. Sometimes more sometimes less.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Evenly. Though in the summer I work for them in a seasonaly family business for extra money and park at their house and also park there to go to the beach so that time of year I am more often going to their house. We have them over for dinner from time to time. And my mom and I run errands together.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Depends on what I/we are doing. Dinner or a family party? He is there. Work or beach? Depends on schedules. He also goes over there to work on his scooter in my dad's shed/work shop without me.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Probably a few times a week and send texts. It depends on what is happening in our lives. I also sometimes don't talk to them for a week or two.
-How far away are they from you? 5 minutes give or take in a car.
ETA: I didn't copy the age question. I am 32.
I used to live on the west coast and they were on the east coast. In that situation I would come home once or twice a year and they would visit once or twice. I would speak to them on the phone about once or twice a week. I also lived with my brother during part of this time so we both would speak with our parents. At that time I was not dating anyone so that question doesn't apply.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? YES! They are my best friends.
-How often do you see them? About once a week.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I try to go see them but sometimes it's just split. They may stop over when they are on their way to run errands or I will stop by their house for Sunday dinner.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He is almost always with me. It's rare when he isn't. They want to see him as bad as they want to see me. lol
-Do they like/love your SO/FI/marriage partner? They love him!
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? I speak with my mom everyday (I have the cell phone bill to show it!) mainly when I'm driving home from work since I have a super long commute. I talk to dad about once a week. He works a lot.
-How far away are they from you? 10 minutes.
-And finally, how old are you? 30
I'm also an only child.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
Yes, very.
-How often do you see them?
Not enough. We try to get together every month.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
I go to them more.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
He almost always comes. The only time he didn't come was last THNXGVNG because he wanted us to spend some quality time together.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
2-3 times a day.
-How far away are they from you?
6 hours by car. 45 mins by plane.
-And finally, how old are you?
24.
Both of our parents are divorced.
My mom: We live 5 minutes from her. We actually see her daily most of the time one way or another. I have one sister who is studying abroad right now and we enjoy giving my mother company so she doesn't have to be alone at night (especially since she does so much for us). I have a very close relationship with my mom (though she's damn annoying sometimes), and my husband has developed one too. We definitely do not go over to see her every night, but we work at the same school, so sometimes we see each other during the day, or my husband runs over there to pick up/drop something off and he sees her on a day I don't. All around, it's just a very close relationship and we are happy with that.
My dad: I've had an on/off close relationship with him. I see him a few times a month. He lives about 30 minutes away from us. Sometimes we get together on Sundays, sometimes we go for dinner during the week, and occasionally he comes to us on a Friday night. I would say he mostly comes to our neck of the woods, but there are some days that we drive down to him. He is potentially moving out of state sometime this year so I know now he feels a push to spend a lot more time with us before he moves and doesn't have the option of seeing us so much anymore.
All in all, we definitely have a much closer relationship with my side of the family as a couple.
His mom: Up until just last week his mom lived 4 hours away from us by car. She is originally from the same state where my husband grew up, but moved to our state after the divorce. I wouldn't say we drove up to see her very often. I think we went twice in the summer for the weekend, and winter break last year. She came a little more often before the wedding for pre-wedding events, like the shower, but she wasn't really around so much before the wedding. Although we did invite her to our home over the summer so she could see our apartment, she did not end up coming until Thanksgiving, which was really nice for my husband. We went up last week right before she moved, and now that she's living about 8 hours drive from us I can't see us getting together as regularly anymore. We will probably not see her again until July, which is when she is tentatively planning to get married.
His dad: His dad is living in the state where my husband grew up, and to be honest, we really don't regularly see him. Before my husband moved down here when we got married, he lived an hour drive frim his dad, so he actually did see him a lot. When I would go visit him, we also used to spend a lot of time with his dad. But that was more circumstantial and the last time we saw him was the weekend after our wedding. We certainly can't afford plane tickets right now, and I don't think his father would come down. He got re-married on Labor Day weekend and unfortunately with work my husband and I were not able to attend. We're hoping to get some inexpensive fares for June so we can attend my sister in law's high school graduation. After that, we have no plans set to see him.
My husband and I are TTC this summer, and I'll be interested to see which of our family members come when the baby is born. For sure my mom and dad (and sister), most likely his mom, but I wonder about his dad and any of his siblings.
ETA: We have a close relationship with my mom, a warm relationship wtih my dad (if that makes sense), a lukewarm relationship with his mom and a somewhat cold relationship with his dad. I am 22 and my husband is 25. I speak to my mom on the phone casually and often because we see each other all the time, and sometimes it's like, "Do you want to come for dinner tonight, what should I make?" kind of conversations. We usually don't spend hours on the phone because if I have something I want to discuss, I just do it in person. I speak to my dad every single Friday, without my husband, usually for 5-15 minutes. My husband speaks to both of his parents every Friday and usually without me. I have spoken with my mother in law on the phone before, but quite rarely. I usually don't speak on the phone with my father in law, but his wife texts both my husband and I every Friday before the weekend.
OK, here are my answers to my own questions (didn't want to post them right away because I'm looking for responses to the questions, not my particular situation :) )
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Somewhat-- we like each other but my mom's strong dislike of my SO and his family has caused a lot of strain over the past few years
-How often do you see them? About 1-2X per month
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I almost always visit them, unless it is when I'm in school and not at my SO's and my home; then they come to see me. They have come to my SO's and my home twice in the 2.5 years I've lived here.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He almost never comes because he is very rarely invited to by them. . ugh tension.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Once a week, usually.
-How far away are they from you? When I'm home, 1.5 hours; when I'm at school, 2.5 hours.
-And finally, how old are you? I'm 25.
My FILs, although they don't like my parents because of my parents not liking my SO (!!!), do like me a LOT. They live 5/10 minutes down the road, and my SO works for his dad, so he sees them almost every day. I, however, when it isn't the holidays, can go for a month without seeing them, especially if I'm in school. But sometimes I see them every week; it just depends on what's going on. My relationship with them is generally great, although they get on my nerves sometimes.
My parents get jealous of my living near my FILs and often assume I spend more time with them than I do my own parents. . . so tiresome to deal with. What a mess. :P
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
-- I am close with both of my parents.
-How often do you see them?
-- I live 1,200 miles away from my parents. I last saw them in December when I got married, and before that it was in August.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
-- They come to us. However, we will be going to them in June when we have our formal wedding.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
-- My husband will come.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
-- My dad, probably once or twice a month. My mother calls me every. single. day. It's actually quite infuriating because she's terrified to cut the umbilical cord. She's always been a helicopter mom, and I've put a firm stance down that if she must call, she will get one phone call a day. I am not going to humor these 20+ phone calls a day just to hear, "Whatcha doin?"
-How far away are they from you?
-- They live in California, we live in Oklahoma, 1,200 miles away.
-And finally, how old are you?
-- Just turned 26. Husband is 25.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
No, not anymore.
How often do you see them?
My dad passed away almost 5 years ago, and I see my mother a few times a year, whenever my family gets together.
Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
We typically interact at my grandma's house.
When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
Almost always, yes.
How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
Never. It used to be the only time she called was to ask for money. Then she went to texting. I stopped responding to her texts about money and she doesn't call or text anymore.
How far away are they from you?
My mother lives about 10-15 minutes from me.
And finally, how old are you?
I'm 27.
I'll answer for FI's parents, too, since we're very close to them.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
Yep!
How often do you see them?
We see his mom at least 3x a week. We see his dad/stepmom a couple of times a month (FI sees them more than that alone, since he coaches with his dad).
Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
We always go to them. We don't have room for guests.
When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
I try to always go.
How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
I don't talk to them on the phone if I can help it, but that's because I really hate talking on the phone to anyone.
How far away are they from you?
His mom lives like 5 minutes from us, and dad/stepmom live 10.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes
-How often do you see them? every 2-3 months depending what is going on (they live a plane ride away)
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I usually visit them more than they visit me.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? FI almost always comes with me, but not necessarily every time - it depends.
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Yes they do.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? 1-2x a week
-How far away are they from you? 800 miles
-And finally, how old are you? 26
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, I have a great relationship with both of them and I'm very close with my mom. I consider her one of my best friends and she's my MOH (:
-How often do you see them? Well ususally once a week. I'm away at school or it would be more often.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
Usually I visit them because it makes more sense for me to come back to my hometown and stay a weekend than for them to drive an hour to see me for part of a day.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He usually comes with me, but sometimes his schedule doesn't allow it. He stays with us sometimes and sometimes he stays with his parents. It depends.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Everyday (:
-How far away are they from you? About an hour drive
-And finally, how old are you? I'm 21 (will be 22 on Valentine's Day!)
I am pretty close to my mom and not close to my dad at all.
I see my mom maybe once a week. I see my dad maybe once a year.
I go to visit them. That could change once we buy a home though and would definitely change if we had a baby. Right now, however, I prefer to go to them. We have a small apartment and I don't like people over.
My husband sometimes comes with me.
Yes, both of them like my husband.
I talk to my mom maybe once or twice a week. I talk to my dad under 5 times a year on the phone.
My mother is about a 10-15 minute drive. My dad is about an hour or so.
I am 23.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes
-How often do you see them? Once a week on average but they only live 10 minutes away
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? We visit them
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He always comes
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? My dad, hardly, but my mum and I email each other daily and talk on the phone at least twice a week
-How far away are they from you? 10 minutes
-And finally, how old are you? 27
As for my in laws, DH talks to them maybe twice a week on the phone. They live on the opposite side of the country, about 5 hrs direct flight.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
Very close with my Mom; estranged from my father.
-How often do you see them?
We just moved a couple states away, and have seen her once in 6 mo since; before, we lived 2 hrs away in the same state and we saw her several times a year, often in the summer when we were vacationing, etc.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
Usually, we visit her.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
DH always comes with me
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?
She adores him
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
We text more often than actual phone calls, but on average 1x a week
-How far away are they from you?
500 miles/8 hrs
-And finally, how old are you?
23
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Mom yes, father no (he's out of the picture so subsequent answers pertain to my mom only)
-How often do you see them? I think it would average out to every couple weeks
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I usually come to her these days since parking is messed up at my place right now but it's fairly even
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He usually comes yes
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? yes
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? not very often but we email daily
-How far away are they from you? like a 5 minute drive
-And finally, how old are you? 27
I've learned that when it comes to people and their parents there is no "norm". That being said here are my answers:
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Er not really. I never knew my dad that well. My parents divorced when I was little and he moved across the country. He passed away over 10 years ago.
My mom and I have our ups and downs. It's gotten worse since I've been engaged. She's getting older too and sometimes I think she's slipping.
-How often do you see them? Once every few months.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Since moving about 2 hours away from my mom I know usually visit her (I use to live only 45 minutes away and it was more even then).
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? If he's not on the road working he comes.
Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Yes my mom likes him.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Every few weeks.
-How far away are they from you? About 2 hours or so.
-And finally, how old are you? 32
When I say my "parents," I am referring to my mom and my stepdad. My dad and I are not close and though he lives 30 minutes away, I only see him once-twice a year and we rarely talk. That being said...
-I am very close to my mom (and stepdad).
-I try to see them once a week but sometimes it's more, sometimes less.
-We usually go to see them. My mom's elderly parents live with them, and they have bathrooms on their main floor, and I don't (it's hard for my grandparents to go up/down stairs).
-DH comes maybe 95% of the time. Sometimes he has to work on weekends, and I go to my mom's for dinner, so that's the 5% when he isn't there.
-EDIT--forgot to answer this one before--they love my DH. He talks to my mom probably almost as often as I do.
-I talk to my mom on the phone or email a few times a week, probably on average every other day.
-We live 25 minutes from them.
-I am 25 yrs old.
DH is almost 30, and his mom lives about 2 1/2 hours away, and calls/texts him multiple times a day. We usually go up to see his family together on holidays and occasionally if we're going through the area (my in-laws live close to Atlantic City, so if we're going to AC to gamble, we stop through). She has some mental health issues and addictions so he tries to be there for her without letting her take over our lives.
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? I love my mom, neutral towards my dad. Wasn't close at all with either of them until a year and a half ago.
-How often do you see them? I saw them once last year. If I see them this year it will only be once, not sure yet.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
I visit.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He comes.
Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Mom absolutely adores him. I'm not sure that my dad likes anyone.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Generally once every 1-2 weeks I talk to my mom for around 2 hours. I never talk to my dad.
-How far away are they from you? A 5-6 hour plane ride.
-And finally, how old are you? 22.
Wow, this is great, bees! Thank you so much for making this a happening thread! Looking forward to more lovely responses. . .
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
I am very close with my mom, like BFF close. My dad and I get along fine too but it's just not the same type of relationship as me and my mom.
-How often do you see them?
Usually we go out to dinner at least once a week.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
A little of both. I'd say we go to their home more often.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
DH almost always comes.
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?
Yep they do.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
I talk to my mom every couple of days. My dad occasionally calls to ask us over or whatever.
-How far away are they from you?
10 minute drive.
-And finally, how old are you?
29
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
Very close/pleasant relationship - we can talk about pretty much anything and everything and we're always joking around and having fun.
-How often do you see them?
It varies depending on work rosters and what they're doing, but probably about once a fortnight
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
My parents live in a small town and fiance and I live in the nearest city (about an hour away), so they come here for their grocery shopping, etc. So they'll usually drop in or we'll catch up for coffee when they're doing their shopping. For overnight visits, it's usually us visiting them.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
He usually comes, depending on whether his work roster lines up with mine. He used to not come as often, but that was because he felt a little uncomfortable (probably not the right word) with how different my parents were to his. My parents are very friendly and affectionate, as well as being quite strange in a lot of their behaviours - they might suddenly start singing and dancing, or talking about sex (basically think of them as the Fockers from Meet the Fockers and you've got my parents).
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
Speak on the phone about once a week, and we'll text each other every few days if there's stuff to talk about
-How far away are they from you?
They live about an hour's drive from me and fiance.
-And finally, how old are you?
25 - If it's any help, I moved out when I was 18, moved back for 2 years when I was 20, then out for good at 22 with fiance.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Definitely.
-How often do you see them? I work with my mother so I see her daily. My father used to work here before he retired and my brother and FI do too. It's family affair. We see them outside of work a few times a month.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? In general we go to their house because I get to see my cats. I miss having those buggers around. Our apartment is tiny so people rarely come to visit us (there honestly isn't room)
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He comes 99% of the time with me. Sometimes he goes alone lol
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? They love him!
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Not too often, a few times a month. My Dad is really into FaceTime though. He'll facetime me a few times a week just to ask a few questions and to "see my face"
-How far away are they from you? About 30 minutes. Not too bad.
-And finally, how old are you? 30
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Yes, although my relationship with my dad is somewhat strained at times
-How often do you see them? Once or twice a month, though I see my mom more as we run together, grab coffee/dinner together on our own quite often.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Fairly even.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? If both my parents are there than my FI comes if he isn't out of town, but if it's just my mom and I hanging out he stays home.
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Yes
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? I talk to my mom twice a week on the phone and we email, with my dad and stepmom we talk once a week at least.
-How far away are they from you? Within 30 minutes driving distance. The next city over
-And finally, how old are you? I am 24
I will also add that I feel like my FI and I spend a lot of time with our parents, but perhaps that is because I have two sets (divorced and remarried) and his grandma has been sick for a while so we tried to visit her every weekend, and would usually see his parents at that time too. Grandma has recently passed away so I'm interested to see if we will start seeing less of his parents.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
Yes, I have great relationships with both my parents.
-How often do you see them?
I see my parents about every 2 or 3 months, but during the holidays, my mom is pretty demanding aobut both Thanksgiving and Christmas and expects an extended stay for Christmas.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
Almost exclusively, I have to visit them. When my parents have come to see me, it's usually been for a specific purpose... like my PhD graduation. When I visit, I must stay at my mom's house. Staying with my father or DH's parents is completely out of the question from my mom's perspective, which is REALLY obnoxious.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
DH comes with me about 75% of the time, but his parents live in the same area too.
-Do they like your SO/DH?
Yes, very much so, especially my mom. She thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
I don't talk to mine on a schedule, but I'd say it averages to two times a week unless something is going on. There have been stretches where I've gone many weeks without talking to one parent or the other, but that's rare. DH talks to his parents ad hoc but also every Sunday night unless he closes at work.
-How far away are they from you?
Until June, we were 4.5 hrs away. Now we are almost 6 hours away.
-And finally, how old are you?
I'm 28. DH will be 33 in a week and a half.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Um, no. But I really try. My Dad and I are closer than my mum and I but he really makes me exhausted. He is not happy and that is something that is difficult for me to deal with. He is not the best communicator. My mum and I have not seen one another in 6 years.
-How often do you see them? I see my Dad twice a month, I would say.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? We split it, but he only has a motorcycle so now I go to see him more. In warmer months we meet somewhere or he comes over more.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? We have a rule: no one is ever left alone with any of our parents!
Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Everyone loves my SO.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Now that I am expecting my mum and I talk more- maybe once every couple of weeks, we didn't talk for several years prior. I really only talk to my Dad on the phone to make plans.
-How far away are they from you? Dad is maybe 20 minutes. Mum is 24 hours.
-And finally, how old are you? 29!
@Creiddylad: Your parents and my in laws sounds scarily similar. My in laws are jelous of how close we are to my parents (which is why they keep bothering us about buying a house where we are at). Although everyone likes everyone else, it is hard to get both of the families together because our parents are very different. His are kind of a "wallow in self pity" people and my parents, well my mom, is very uppity and doesn't want to listen to people complain all the time.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Definitely! My mom is amazing, and my dad is always there when I need him
-How often do you see them? I see them every few weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends on what is going on, but lately I've been trying to see them more.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Actually, fairly evenly split. We live about an hour apart, so we'll even meet in the middle for dinner sometimes.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He usually comes with. My dentist is fairly close to their house, so I go there after a dentist appt. without him, or my mom has been coming dress shopping with me.
-Do they like your SO/FI/DH? They love him, so so much. I'm really lucky!
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? A couple times a week. My dad likes to call and check up on me! I'm not very good at calling them, though.
-How far away are they from you? About an hour away, without traffic.
-And finally, how old are you? I am 26.
-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? YES!
-How often do you see them? 3 times a week.
-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I visit them. Also see them at church. Sometimes it's over dinner or lunch when the FI is off work.
-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Mehh.. It's usually just myself. But he has no problem tagging along.
-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Not often since I see them regularly.
-How far away are they from you? Less than a mile.
-And finally, how old are you? 26
And YES my parents adore him... and I am happy to say his parents and I get along very well.
@megz06: Bleh, isn't it such a pain to deal with? It's exhausting. I feel like it's a never-ending separation process. Unfortunately my parents and my FILs do NOT like each other. I actually waste mental energy worrying about dealing with both sets of parents at our someday/hypothetical wedding. I think I need to learn to chill out, but it is hard. How are you and your DH dealing with the jealousy thing?
Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?
I don't feel emotionally close to my parents or my MIL. (My FIL passed away a few years ago.) They make a lot of assumptions about my personality and don't really see eye-to-eye with me on certain things. It's hard for me to feel relaxed around them. I feel a sense of obligation though, and they clearly like to see us, so I try to balance their desire for frequent visits against the fact that I usually feel strained/repressed around them.
How often do you see them?
We see my parents about 1-2x per month, and we see my MIL about 2-3x per month. Sometimes my mom gets on a roll and starts getting overzealous with invitations and I have to start turning her down in order to protect my/our personal time. We mostly see my parents socially, but my MIL often needs help with maintaining her house so those visits tend to be more logistically driven. My MIL also seems to expect that we should see her every weekend.
Sometimes I resent this sense of obligation. I work hard during the week and often just want a couple of days to myself (or with my husband and/or our friends) to unwind. I have a pretty independent personality, and she does not, so it is hard for me to be patient with her attitude even though I know intellectually that we are just wired differently.
Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?
It's split more or less evenly with my parents, though lately I've been trying to get them to come to our town because they are both retired and have more free time than we do. We visit my MIL much more often than she visits us. She gets flustered easily by driving, and she clearly prefers that we go to visit her. As of today, though, we will be carless for the next 3 months, so I'm not sure how that will play out.
When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?
Most of the time we both go together. Every once in awhile, maybe 3-4x per year, I will skip visiting my MIL because the visits are more frequent. But my husband prefers that I join him.
Do they like your SO/FI/DH?
Yes.
How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?
Between 1-3x per week. My husband probably talks to his mom 4-5x per week.
How far away are they from you?
My parents are about 45-60 mins away by car, depending on traffic, and my MIL is about the same distance in the opposite direction.
And finally, how old are you?
I am 35, and my husband is 37.
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