Post # 1
I’m having a bit of a disagreement with my mother about the age of my flower girls. One will be 8 next year, the other will be 10. We don’t have anyone available who is younger that we are close to that we could ask to be flower girls.
My mom thinks they both should be considered junior bridesmaids instead. My older sister had a junior bridesmaid who was only 7 at her wedding, but her 2 flower girls were 3 years old and 18 months old. FI and I don’t want junior bridesmaids.
Am I crazy for wanting 8 and 10 year olds to be considered flower girls? I’m of the opinion that girls are required to grow up too fast, and I want to let them be little as long as they’ll accept it!
Post # 3
I said 6 or younger. I have the exact opposite problem in my family. We have a lot of small children in my family, but my FI doesn’t have many. Originally I was going to choose a cousin who is about 24 mos old. I changed my mind when I realized that the only young boy in my FI’s family was about 6. I didn’t want there to be that much of a gap so I chose an older girl. Now they are the same age. I don’t guess it really matters how old the child is, as long as it’s what you want.
Case and point: If you don’t want a junior BM, don’t have one. It’s your wedding. For once in our lives we don’t HAVE to listen to other people. Just nod and thank them for their advice. 🙂 Best of luck in making your decision!
Post # 4
My flower girl is 9. Who’s going to say anything if they are flower girls? I don’t want a junior bridesmaid either. I think it’s more of a question of when is a girl is old/mature enough to be a junior bridesmaid, and my girl is not really one I trust to help out with bridesmaid-y stuff.
Post # 5
I was a Jr.BM at age 10 and it was really only a title since my Aunt wanted me in her wedding. My sister was 7 and the FG and my cousin was also 7 and the RB.
The only real difference I think is in how they’ll be dressed. Jr.BM’s usually wear the same color as the other BM’s and the FG usually is closer in color to the bride. These days,tho, almost anything goes!
Post # 6
We had my husband’s 8 year old niece as a flower girl and his 10 year old niece as a ring bearer. They were excited to be a part of the wedding. I thought about making the older one a jr bridesmaid, but since they’re sisters and very competative, it was better to keep their roles similar. You also want to consider the maturity of the kids. Even at 8 and 10, their attention wandered during our 7 minute ceremony.
Post # 7
I don’t think 8 and 10 is too old at all. I think between 10 – 12 they can be either FG or Jr Bridesmaids, after 13 I think it’s definitely Jr. Bridesmaid.
Post # 8
I don’t think 8 and 10 are too old either. And anyways, it’s your wedding so ultimately you get to make the final decision.
Post # 9
I’m having all my nieces, and they’ll be 5, 8 and 9.
I don’t want any more bridesmaids, so they’ll be “flower girls”. I’m not sure all of them will carry flowers though. I may have two carry a “here comes the bride” sign.
In my opinion, they are girls. So they can be flower girls, no matter the age.
I’m also having a hard time finding dresses because I don’t want them to look like junior bridesmaids or mini brides. They normally wouldn’t be allowed to wear strapless or spaghetti strap dresses, so why should they in my wedding?
Until a girl is old enough to help plan a party or do other bridesmaid duties, I think they’re young enough to still be a flower girl.
Post # 10
Thanks for your input everyone. I guess another part of the issue my mom is hung up on is that the adult sides of the bridal party are not even. I have 3 bridesmaids (my 2 sisters and good friend), and FI has 4 groomsmen (his 2 brothers, my brother, and his best friend). My mom thinks the 10 year old as a Jr. BM would help even it out.
Also, the ring bearer will only be 4 years old with the 8 and 10 year old flower girls.
Post # 11
@raspberrylemonade: We’re uneven sides too. It’ll be okay. Think about it for the 10 year old – would she have more fun being a flower girl or a Jr BM? I would think being flower girl is more fun since you get to actually do something, but I dk.
My sister will be almost 8 (she’s adopted and a lot younger) when she is our Flower Girl. I said 11 or older is too old for flower girl.
Post # 12
To me they can be a flower girl any time up until around 10 or so. Once they’re approaching puberty I think it’s more appropriate to be a jr bridesmaid. IMHO
Post # 13
My niece is 10 and she is my flower girl. And she is fine with it 🙂 And very excited because she wants to throw flowers for me to walk on 🙂
Post # 14
I think 8 and 10 are good ages for flower girls. I was a flower girl when I was 8 and there were no issues and the photos looked fine lol. 8 and 10 years isn’t THAT old. I think they are too young for junior briedesmaids… they are kids for goodness sake!! I think a junior bridesmaid should at least be in her teens.
I think having the 8 and 10 years old girls in your wedding as flower girls will be lovely 🙂
Post # 15
@raspberrylemonade: Because the ring bearer is 4, I would maybe agree with your mom and make the 10 yr old a junior bridesmaid.
We will have a 6 year old flower girl, and she is very excited. I have a 10 yr old cousin who I wanted to involve, but we’re making him an usher along with an 18 yr old and a 26 yr old (we also have groomsmen, so our ushers will really just be seating people and unrolling the aisle runner). I knew that the 10 yr old could handle the little bit of work he’d be given as an usher, and that he would most likely be insulted if we asked him to be a ring bearer and be paired with a 6 yr old.
It really depends on the 10 yr old. Personally, I think 10 is on the older side for a flower girl, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using her as such and it could still be completely adorable. Some 10 yr olds might want to feel more like grown-ups. When I was 10 I was a junior bridesmaid in a wedding. I was 2 grades ahead in school and small for my age, so I was sick of being treated as the baby and would have been very insulted if I was paired off with a 4 yr old.
It really depends on the girl. You could always do some sort of flower girl/ junior bridesmaid hybrid. Find out which label she prefers, then dress her as you see appropriate.