(Closed) How old is too old to be a flower girl?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I was a flower girl when I was 13 and I hated it, but I think that was largely due to the bride being really condescending and treating me like a little kid. Like, she put me in the same dress as her 1-year-old daughter and would say things to my mom in front of me like I couldn’t understand them speaking. 

You could still have her do the rose thing, I think that’d be fine, but give her a different title (jr. bridesmaid works, or something new) and make sure to put her in a grown-up lady dress (not anything innapropriate of course, but when you’re 13 you want nothing more than to think you’re an adult)

Post # 4
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think that the job which you want her to do is perfect for her. It’s not really something you could trust a 5 or 6 year old with but is a lot cuter for someone younger than your bridesmaids to do.

As @MabelleBliss:  suggested, call her a junior bridesmaid (which is the proper title for someone of that age in a wedding party) and just make sure her dress isn’t too young and that she is treated as a teenager and not a little girl (which I’m sure you wouldn’t do).

Are you going to be having 3 “rose girls”? Or just the 13  year old? I’m not sure if I misread your post. If you wanted 3 “rose girls” the youngest two would be flower girls and the 13 year old would be called a junior bridesmaid. Just make sure you let her know that she is the head of the flower girls. Perhaps have her in the same colour as the bridesmaids whilst the flower girls are in a different colour. 

Can you tell us more about the rose ceromony? I’m just really curious. 

Post # 6
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@icetea:  Haha that’s so funny! I guess to each their own…

Actually, that kind of makes sense. You should talk to the child’s parents and see if it’s something the child would be interested in. I don’t think a 13 year old is going to do something just to be nice…they will probably let you know. 

Post # 7
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Personally I think over 10 should be a Jr Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I think a 13 year old definitely should be.

I don’t see why she can’t do the rose thing, but I wouldn’t call her a Flower Girl.

Post # 8
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think Miss Manners says the “right” age for a flower girl / ring bearer is old enough to be trusted to get themselves down the aisle but young enough so people will go “aww” when they appear. That’s actually not a very big window!

I absolutely think 13 is too old to be a flower girl (my former 13-year-old self cringes at the very thought) but that doesn’t mean she can’t be the junior bridesmaid who passes out roses. Passing out roses seems more “mature” than scattering petals. And have her wear a dress that’s neither too revealing nor too girlish.  

Post # 9
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@icetea:  Thanks for explaining the rose ceromony in more depth. It sounds really lovely! 

Post # 12
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My flower girl is 5, and my ringbearer will be 16. (my little brother and FI’s little sister)

Post # 13
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When my mom got re-married I was thier flower girl.  I was 8 or 9, I think any older than that and its not cute anymore.

Post # 14
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What a cute idea!  I think that’s the perfect job for someone that age, but like PP would be tempted to give her another title. 

Post # 15
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree that you should call her a Jr Bm or something. It’s funny, though, since you’re doing a rose ceremony she’ll LITERALLY be the “flower girl,” as in…the girl with all the flowers! haha. I’d still call her a Jr Bm out of respect for her age being over 10. 🙂


Post # 16
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

I think 10 should be the cutoff.

I was actually a jr. bridesmaid at 7 for my aunt and uncle. My 6 year old sister was the flower girl with my cousin’s ex’s  son as the ring bearer. 

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