Post # 1
And ring bearer?
The youngins in our family are all at least 10yrs+ The youngest girl is probably 11 or 12 and by next year 12 or 13. Is this too old to be a flower girl?
We also have it planned to be a rose ceremony. But not the traditional give a rose to your mom ceremony. We will be handing out a dozen roses, each to a special guest to come up and place in a vase throughout the ceremony and lastly Fiance and I will add ours. So the flower girl wouldn’t be dropping petals like normal, she’d carry a basket of long stemmed roses and hand them out to the guests in the front row.
13 too old?
Post # 3
I was a flower girl when I was 13 and I hated it, but I think that was largely due to the bride being really condescending and treating me like a little kid. Like, she put me in the same dress as her 1-year-old daughter and would say things to my mom in front of me like I couldn’t understand them speaking.
You could still have her do the rose thing, I think that’d be fine, but give her a different title (jr. bridesmaid works, or something new) and make sure to put her in a grown-up lady dress (not anything innapropriate of course, but when you’re 13 you want nothing more than to think you’re an adult)
Post # 4
I think that the job which you want her to do is perfect for her. It’s not really something you could trust a 5 or 6 year old with but is a lot cuter for someone younger than your bridesmaids to do.
As @MabelleBliss: suggested, call her a junior bridesmaid (which is the proper title for someone of that age in a wedding party) and just make sure her dress isn’t too young and that she is treated as a teenager and not a little girl (which I’m sure you wouldn’t do).
Are you going to be having 3 “rose girls”? Or just the 13 year old? I’m not sure if I misread your post. If you wanted 3 “rose girls” the youngest two would be flower girls and the 13 year old would be called a junior bridesmaid. Just make sure you let her know that she is the head of the flower girls. Perhaps have her in the same colour as the bridesmaids whilst the flower girls are in a different colour.
Can you tell us more about the rose ceromony? I’m just really curious.
Post # 5
@MabelleBliss: lol…sorry to laugh…but when I was 13 I really wanted to be the flower girl for my brother’s wedding but they said I was too old and they picked a niece on the bride’s side (THE SAME AGE AS ME!!!) I’ve been bitter ever since lol. But yeah, good points!
@Everdeen: We wanted to do a variation on the rose ceremony. The idea is that instead of a unity candle or cocktails or wine we’ll do roses. Roses are meaningful to us b/c Fiance proposed with a dozen roses. So our idea is to have a dozen roses handed out, we have my adopted mother (single parent adoption), my guardians, FI’s parents, our two best men and our two MOH’s, our flower (jr bridesmaid) and us. The ceremony will talk about the rose starting as a blossoming and blooming…resilience etc. The officiant will talk about the marriage being more than just a union of two people and includes our loved ones and will then ask parents to come up and place their rose in the vase, then talk about friends and our MOH’s and BM’s will come over, and then our youngin to remember to include joy and happiness, and lastly we’ll place our roses in as a gift of love. That will be our ceremony. We’ll wake up to our beautiful flowers and will give eachother roses on our anniversary.
It’s not all written out…just pieces from other ceremonies and the actual rose ceremony.
Post # 6
@icetea: Haha that’s so funny! I guess to each their own…
Actually, that kind of makes sense. You should talk to the child’s parents and see if it’s something the child would be interested in. I don’t think a 13 year old is going to do something just to be nice…they will probably let you know.
Post # 7
Personally I think over 10 should be a Jr Bridesmaid or Best Man. I think a 13 year old definitely should be.
I don’t see why she can’t do the rose thing, but I wouldn’t call her a Flower Girl.
Post # 8
I think Miss Manners says the “right” age for a flower girl / ring bearer is old enough to be trusted to get themselves down the aisle but young enough so people will go “aww” when they appear. That’s actually not a very big window!
I absolutely think 13 is too old to be a flower girl (my former 13-year-old self cringes at the very thought) but that doesn’t mean she can’t be the junior bridesmaid who passes out roses. Passing out roses seems more “mature” than scattering petals. And have her wear a dress that’s neither too revealing nor too girlish.
Post # 9
@icetea: Thanks for explaining the rose ceromony in more depth. It sounds really lovely!
Post # 10
@Eglantine: Well I’m glad there is a Miss Manners on this one because I really had no idea. We weren’t even going to have a “flower girl” b/c of our rose ceremony but it’s my cousin and suddenly the family is all about the wedding and there are youngins around 10-13 on the Fiance side included in the wedding so I was trying to figure out if we could find a place for her.
Post # 11
@Eglantine: LOL but again, I was 13 and didn’t get to be my brother’s flower girl because I was “too old” and the girl they picked was the same age! So shame on them…but still I wanted to do it! LOL
Post # 12
My flower girl is 5, and my ringbearer will be 16. (my little brother and FI’s little sister)
Post # 13
When my mom got re-married I was thier flower girl. I was 8 or 9, I think any older than that and its not cute anymore.
Post # 14
What a cute idea! I think that’s the perfect job for someone that age, but like PP would be tempted to give her another title.
Post # 15
I agree that you should call her a Jr Bm or something. It’s funny, though, since you’re doing a rose ceremony she’ll LITERALLY be the “flower girl,” as in…the girl with all the flowers! haha. I’d still call her a Jr Bm out of respect for her age being over 10. 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
I think 10 should be the cutoff.
I was actually a jr. bridesmaid at 7 for my aunt and uncle. My 6 year old sister was the flower girl with my cousin’s ex’s son as the ring bearer.