Post # 1
We’re having an adults only reception. The only children there will be those in the wedding party. I know my aunt from Canada will bring her 10-year-old son (we were fine with that because she’s a sponsor and part of the wedding party. Plus she’s coming from out of the country). But just to be on the safe side since other people might wonder why her son is there, I want to include him in the wedding party. I thought he’d be fine as a ring bearer since we didn’t have one. But people have told me 10 is too old to be a ring bearer. I think it’s fine, and he was totally excited about it when his mom asked him. Still, family have insisted that 10 is way too old. I think if he wants to be a ring bearer, it shouldn’t really matter. Who said all ring bearers had to be barely old enough to walk? What do you think?
Post # 3
Acutally as soon as I saw the topic line on the board, I thought to myself how 10 should be the cut off point. I think it’s fine. And if he’s looking fwd to it, even better!
Post # 4
We are having an older ring bearer. He will be 11 when we get married. We have decided to have him titled ring bearer/Jr. Groomsman. I don’t see anything wrong with it. He is very excited about it.
Post # 5
As long as HE’s ok with it, then it’s fine.
Post # 6
My ring bearers are 5 and 4. I have another little cousin who’s 10 and got bumped up to Jr Groomsman. I think 10 for a ring bearer is fine as long as he’s happy with it—I already had two ring bearers and not enough jr groomsman that’s why I put my 10 yr old cousin as a jr groomsman.
Post # 7
If he wants to do it, I think it’s great 🙂 If you’re trying to think of something else for him to do, you could have him do a reading or have him do a “house party” type job, like hand out programs.
Post # 8
I saw that you’re Filipinio – I’m only vaguely familiar with the different ceremony traditions, but is there another wedding item (like cup, candle, rope, etc.?) that he could present instead? I don’t know if that’s totally off base or not, but might be a way to include him that’s not in the traditional ring-bearer role.
Post # 9
Thanks for the comments! Actually, the sponsors take care of the cord, veil and unity candle. I don’t see a point in having him as a jr groomsmen since we already have 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids (no Jr bridesmaids). Programs and Ushers are already taken care of. Since we don’t have a ring bearer, I thought it should be fine. Plus He WANTS to be a ring bearer!
I don’t understand why there is this strict idea that flower girls and ring bearers need to be really, really young. My cousin’s 10-year-old neice (whose she’s really close to) had her heart set on being a flower girl in her wedding and was reduced to tears when she was told she was too old. Instead my cousin had a 3-year-old daughter of an acquaintance be the flower girl, and the little girl caused a huge scene and delayed the wedding march because she was too scared to walk down the aisle on her own. My cousin was fuming! But if she just let her 10-year-old cousin do it, everyone would have been fine and happy!
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I think that it’s totally fine for a 10 year old to be ring bearer – even moreso if he’s excited about it!
Post # 11
My ringbearer is 11 and my flower girl is 13 so I’m obviously all for it 🙂
Post # 12
I think 10 is fine. As long as he doesn’t feel too old, I don’t think there is an age limit.
Post # 13
FH’s neice is our flowergirl – she will be 9 at the wedding. I’ve been told that she is “too old”, but I think she’s the right age, and she is super excited about it. I could see if thery were 14or something, but 10 is still a “kid” and it makes them feel so special and included. How could anyone deny them that?
Post # 14
I think if HE is okay with it and excited about it then it is absolutely okay 🙂
Post # 15
My little brother was 11 when he was our ring bearer, and was stoked about it. I think as long as he’s really into it, 10 is just fine!
Post # 16
If my youngest cousin wants it, he’ll be our ring bearer. He’s 6 right now, so he’ll be 8 at the wedding. His sister will be 11, and I’m struggling with how to involve her!