- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
Just wondering what everyones cut off age is?
Just wondering what everyones cut off age is?
@kate_goat: I agree with you! I am 33 and my DH is 43! I hope to have my first before the age of 35 but I definitely think more about having them right away before he gets any older! Is there any other woman in the same boat as me where their DH is so much older?
I could see this getting ugly…
For me personally, I would prefer to have all my children by 40 because of the increased risk of birth defects. However, life doesn’t always work out that way. Economic recessions and life circumstances get in the way.
So I would never say never.
However, in an absolutely ideal world then I would have my first child by 30 and my last by 35. The former will not happen now, as I am 30 very soon. But I am still hoping that I can have children by 35.
If you are providing a loving, stable home for a child, what does age have to do with it? It’s only a number.
@AmberAngel: That is very true! He is very young looking for his age, has all is hair, hardly any wrinkles and could pass for 35 and for the most part is very healthy! I have friends who have husbands younger than mine that look older and have more health problems! I just don’t want to wait too long!
@AmberAngel: Again as long as the children are brought up in a loving and stable home then I don’t see a problem it just sucks cuz co-workers always ask me when I am going to have kids cuz they know how old I and my Dh are yet she lives in a basement apartment and her DH works for a pizza joint but they seem to be happy with their little bundle of joy but I want more out of life than that and I want to give my child the best growing up environment as possible!
Okay. I’m going to be the bad guy in this thread.
First of all, do you know anyone who has parents that were forty or older then they were born? Because my brother and sister were both born when my mother was twenty and twenty two. And I was born when she was forty one. I always had the oldest parents in the classroom.
There are many different problems that arrive socially from this situation. First, my parents and I have a huge age gap. During my childhood years, they were still mildly active. However, when I entered my teens, they began to stay at home – they had already retired and they never had the energy to do anything. Now, (I’m 24) they are in their late-ish sixties and frankly: they are old. I have to start thinking about what will happen to them if they fall and break a hip; or if they cant start doing things around the house. Luckily, mysister and brother are much more financially situated and would be able to do more if these kinds of problems arose. But what if I were the only child? At 30 I might need tohave my parents come live with us.
Paulson, because my parents are older, mygrandparents are as well. One died when I was three and the other three died when I was 10-13. I barely knew them: they were too old to ever do anything with me and two of them I don’t really think ever could quite figure out who I was. I never did ‘take your grandparents to school’ I h.ad to ask an older friend of the family who was more my parents age. And I could never interview them for projects in middle and high school that we had to complete. It’s always been a sad part of my life.
Now. in terms of biology, there are increased risks of health problems forbabies born who have older parents (I.e. over 35) As you get older, your DNA does start to degrade as does your cellular structure. This can bepassed down to any children. Studies have shown increased levels of downs syndrome and autism in kids with older parents. (luckily I missed the boat with that one.)
My FI is a pharmacist and is highly concerned about this in our lives. We even had our genomes sequenced to see if we had any recessive traits that might be a problem if combined.
Now, I’m not saying that you still can’t have a wonderful and living household door a child if you are older parents – but I just wanted to share my experience.
@MRS-K: This is not going to turn out too well. There was a similar thread not too long ago and some people got their panties in a knot about it.
For me personally, my cutoff age is probably 35 but depending on what happens between now and 35, I’d say 40 TOPS.
I would like to have children and be done by 35. But as a religious person, only God knows if/when a child comes.
My mom was young when she had me (20) and older when she had my siblings (40 when she had my youngest brother). She is still pretty young for her age. She has friends that are closer to my age than her age because their kids go to school together, and I still consider her young. In my opinion, it really depends on the person. If you can physically carry a healthy child then go for it! I personally wouldn’t want to have a child past 35, but who knows what could happen.
My mom also considers herself a better parent to my siblings than she was to me. She said she has more patience and understanding and felt overall more prepared when she had my brothers and sister. Again, this is dependent on the person, but thats a pro of having children later in life.
in a perfect world I’d love to have my first at 31-32, however I’m turning 30 in a few months and honestly I’m not sure if FI and I will be ready to give up our childless ways by then. So I guess we’ll see. We are both open to adoption as well so if it doesn’t work out for us within 1-2 years of “trying” we will adopt.
@MRS-K: I would probably close this will get ugly. There was a thread not to long ago about the same thing and did not turn out well
Who are we to say what age is to old to have a child. Our body does not society. Threads like this annoy the shit out of me because I am an older mom and if I let society dictate what age I should or shouldn’t have a child than my son would not be aound.
Yes there is issues with have a child at a older age however many a child have been born normal and healthy to an older mom.
My grandmother who was born in 1901 was 47 and yes you read that right 47 when she had my dad. I was 37 when I had my son and will try again at age 40 this fall to try to have another.
@Selcier: I work in genetics. Just to clarify, there is no known increased risk of autosomal recessive conditions with increased parental age.
There is more to consider than just health regarding increased parental age. Many “older” parents have more social and economic resources,stability, and maturity than when they were younger, and this is incredibly important as well. You have to look at the whole picture.
@Selcier: You & I have the same life lol I’m 24, my mom is turning 65 next month. I worry about her health, I worry about her falling, I worry about moving out of state & leaving her here because what if something happens to her & I can’t be here? I just helped take care of her when she had a knee replacement surgery.
My sister is 45 or 46, I can’t remember…and my brother is 2 years younger than her. Bro is out of state & my sis lives in the same city as my mom but is not exactly the caring, compassionate type. She’ll take my mom to her surgeries & wait in the hospital & stuff, but the after care thing, she’s not so great at.
I’m planning on moving out of state & basically BEGGING my mom to move across the state to live near her younger sister and several other family members. I won’t have peace of mind that she’s taken care of until she does.
I said this in the other thread like this one not too long ago, I would never have a kid past early 30s, 35 at the absolute latest. I have BEEN that kid, I love my mom more than anything & we are SOOOO close & I wouldn’t be the person I am if she had me in her 20s…but I deal with health stuff from my parents and my entire family every single day.