- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
some of you bees may have noticed my other posts about my FI's recent cold-fish attitude, and how we may be on the verge of ending our engagement :(
I'm going to be 30 in less than a week, and am tempted to get really depressed and lose hope that i'll EVER meet someone again if FI don't work it out and get married in July, as planned...
and while i want it to work out with HIM, if it doesn't, i still want to meet someone better for me someday...
so i'm putting this question out there........
how many of you were in your 30's when you met the person you're marrying or married? how old were you when you met him? is there hope for me to meet someone in the next few years, get married, and start a family?
and i apologize if this comes across as obnoxious or offensive in any way to any of you. i'm in a really sad place right now (which you may know if youve seen my threads...)
You will be fine. I didn't meet my FI until I was 33 and I had never been in love and neither had he and he was 36 when we met. You could still find some one if your FI and you don't get married. I'm currently 35 and we are talking about a family and how we see that in our future but we want to be married for a couple of years before we begin that. You still have time.
I was 34 and he was 35. We married out 36 for both of us. We are eight months apart in age. Neither of us was even married before or engaged both. I think both of our longest relationships were about three months.
thanks....obviously logic tells me it is plausible, and other people's happy stories are encouraging...but when it feels like the world i've been building is falling apart around me, these reminders are needed.
so thank you.
PLEASE don't settle for less than what you really want. You don't want to have regrets down the road wondering what if....
I never wanted to get married, and if I did, I always hoped it would be to someone who travelled a lot. I wanted a weekend husband if I had to have one at all!
I got married at 29. The chemistry between us was magic. Almost 30 years later and it still is.
Right now you're in a bad place, but I think if you're honest with yourself you'll realize,(and from what little you've shared about it), everything that's wrong didn't happen in the past few days. It's OK to walk away when it isn't right. Don't sell yourself short. You really deserve so much better.
I know so many people who have! you are still plenty young, please please please don't settle for unhappiness - because that will most likely lead to divorce and many years lost....
My cousin met her husband at 34, married at 35, two kids over the next 3 years...
A very good friend broke up with her BF/amost FI at 33, met a new guy at 34, they moved in 9 months later and will be engaged any day now
A good friend got marrieda at 24, divorced at 29, met her husband at 30, married at 33.....
I could honestly go on,
I know lots of people much older than you who have met wonderful partners. But if you stay with someone who isn't right for you you'll never have the chane to meet them. Really it's not worth it to be with someone who isn't right for you. It probably won't work anyway and you won't be happy. AND 30 isn't anywhere near being old!!!!!
Me personally, I am in my mid-twenties and I met my BF almost a year ago. There is a bit of an age difference, he is 31.
Don't stress about the age. One of my best friends, who is also 31, is getting married to a woman who is 36. They met when she was 34. The age difference has not been a problem for them at all, the only issue is whether they are going to have biological children or adopt. My friend says he is open towards all options, as long as he gets to raise a family with the love of his life.
I do hope things work out for you and your FI, but do keep in mind that there are other men who would want to date you :)
I was 11, 14 when we started dating. But we're weird! most people don't meet that young. Don't worry, I firmly believe that it doesn't really have to do with age.
Your going through a difficult period. Sometimes we think problems appear out no where, but usually they've been brewing for a while. Just know that you are important and if your not happy its not worth to wait and see if things get better. Either you work it out or start over. My FH and I saw each other for the first time 5 years ago, he was 24 I was 20. We were not introduced almost a year later, he was the best man and I the maid of honor @ our best friends' wedding. We've had are difficult periods in these almost 5 years, but we worked through them. Recently it was not having a date set for the wedding . It was bugging me because I turned 25! yeah I know what am I thinking. But when my friends are all married and people ask you when is the wedding you start thinking and stressing. Today we still do not have a date. We worked our issues out and I stopped caring about others and concentrating on us. On February 13 of this year was our 1 year engagement anniversary. Where I'm going at is some of our women stresses and in my cases insecurities can interfere and put a strain on your relationship. My advice is to communicate your concerns, and try to work out a plan. In the end wheter you decide to stay or leave. What matters most is your happiness. And if this guy is not the one for you believe 30 is young, and there is no reason why love cant find you. My best wishes for you :)
I believe I was 15 when I first met Justin, and we started dating when I was 17. We got engaged six years later, and married in our eigth year of being together. This April, we'll have been together ten years already!
I'm very particular about the men I like, and I know now that if we split up, my increased confidence would mean that I'd MEET a lot of people but likely have a hard time finding someone RIGHT. I think that at this age I'd be more than up for the challenge. However, not having been single for so long, I can't even remember what it's like.
I'm sorry you are going through a hard time in your current relationship and I hope you two will be able to work it out.
That said, I was one month shy of 31 when we met. He was 30 - we will both be 35 when we get married. A lot of my friends (in their mid 30's) are meeting, marrying and having kids all within a 2-3 year time span. We joke around that weddings and babies go in cycles. I big wedding boom around 23, then babies, then another wedding boom around 27-28, and now another one around 33-35.
It is certainly not to late to 'start again' at 29. Not sure where you are from, but around my circle the average age to have a first kid is about 33 (a close friend is having her first in May and she turned 36 in January!).
I'm living proof you can have a later start. My mom and dad got married when she was 37 and had me at 42!
Best of luck to you.
please don't get depressed! whatever your situation, do not get married out of fear that it may be your only chance. if things don't work out, don't despair, there will always be someone else. YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY MEET SOMEONE ELSE. i'm sure all of us would if any of our directions changed. i'm in my mid 30's and i know plenty of people who have met their partners in their 30's, and plenty of people still looking, and even a few in their 30's looking to marry again. if you really want to have a family and are concerned about time, confirm he shares your goals in that too before you go through getting married. i haven't seen your posts, but yes, 30 is very young!!!! you have loads of time to see the world, meet someone, and start a family! oh, the possibilities! seriously!
If deep in your heart you know he's not the one, then marrying him will only make it harder to find the one.
They say 30 is the new 20! =)
I agree with all the other posters. My FI and I actually met when I was 22 but we lost touch and started dating when I was 31 and he was 35. At 22, I was not ready for a real relationship or to settle down. I had my share of wrong relationships (including another engagement) and I would not trade those experiences for anything! I think he and I are entering our relationship with a much better sense of who we are as individuals and how we want to be as a couple. So, as the other Bees have said, don't get married because you're approaching 30... get married when you feel it is right. (for some it might be younger than 30 but for many of some of us it just takes a little longer... but SOOO worth the wait!!) good luck!
Im sorry about how your FI is acting. Don't get down. Things will look up for you... in the mean time, don't let your YOUNG age get you down. If he decides he doesn't want you to be a part of his life right now, he will soon learn that he was wrong and come back. I met my FI when I was 16 going on 17 and we have been through ups and downs. Yes... I was young, but im older at heart :). Anyways, what im trying to say is that if he want's you he will be there waiting for you to walk down the aisle. Good luck!!! Hope all turns out well.
I was 28 and he was 38 when we began dating. We were 31 and 41 when we married this summer. Don't lose heart, joygirl. I know it's easy to do when things are rough and uncertain. Just remember, it's never too late for love... whether it's with your current SO or some wonderful man you have yet to meet.
(((hug)))
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. But I am sure that if things do not work out you will be able to find a great guy. You could join different groups or match.com If you work outside your home there are always places to meet men. But to answer your question me and the FI met in Highschool when we were 15 or 16 but we did not start dating till we were 19 and are currently 22. But keep your head up and im sure everything will work out in the way its supposed to *hugs*
I moved to England at age 30, to take on a new opportunity at work. I met the love of my life less than four months later, and we were engaged by the time my one-year moving anniversary came along. If I had let my fear stop me from leaving the US and taking this new opportunity, I would've never met him. I can't imagine missing out on this level of love and compatibility-- what my husband and I have is so much better and stronger than anything I'd ever dreamed. You can't let fear stop you from taking the steps that you know deep down are necessary for your future peace and happiness.
When I was 29, I was dating a guy who was clearly not ready to be married. We broke up right before I turned 30 and I thought i would never find anyone who would be as fun to marry as he would. I was meeting with someone at work about life indurance right after that and I was so depressed that I had no one other than my dog to put own on my form as the person who would receive it. I"m writing that here because its just so laughable now. My boyfriend then needed a few years to grow up. From what I hear, he's very happily married now. And I met my FI when I was 33 who not only is fun to marry, but makes me better person and happier in so many more way than the other one ever could have. We actully broke up after a year of dating so I went thru the whole I'm so old I"ll never meet anyone thing, just like I did when I was 30. My point is, you n your fince are going thru a rough time. If it works out, great, you will look back and be glad that it did. If it doesn't, there is still so much time. All the time I had for myself has been so worth it. And now I have the best relationship that is so much better than any of the others I thought ever were.
I was living with 2 other 30something females 2 years ago. We all have since married within 10 months of each other. One was 34, one was 35 and me- 36 when we met our (now) husbands. One couple met at church, one met at work and I met through mutual friends (whom I also loosely had worked with at church). We had dating/engagement periods ranging from 2 months to 18 months. Just pick a good one...even if you have to wait and wait. Make sure you are ready to GIVE and in a place where you can choose a lifetime committed partner with a clear head.
By the way, all 3 of us (and 2 of our husbands) were never married with no kids. And..my cousin just got divorced last summer due to her husband's jerky cavorting---she is in her mid 30's with 2 young kiddos-- and is now with a fabulous guy in his early 30's who hasn't been married either but is very committed and is pursuing settling down with her. My point is...it can happen at any stage...just keep on maturing yourself and your current friendships. Stay strong and keep the faith!
What a tough situation, my heart goes out to you. - but my one piece of advice is DO NOT force something that shouldn't happen. I was going to break up with my "first" fiance and now ex-husband the day he proposed. I caved, said yes, married 6 months later, and divorced 4 years after. I met my "real" fiance when I was 28, he was 22! We've been together nearly 2 years and will be married in July. I can tell you that after a divorce, then a bad long-term boyfriend after that I was OVER marriage. But then I met my fiance and he's amazing. We share a birthday and I'll be 31 on our wedding day and he'll be 25. I have a more than a few friends who are well into their 30s and either divorced or single and I think they've got the best of it! They can go younger, older, same age - whatever. The world is at your fingertips. Do not settle :-)
I met him for the first time when I was 24 when I first met him but we started dating two months before my 26th birthday. I will be almost 29 when we get married.
I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Don't give up and don't ever settle for something/someone less than you deserve.
I met my FI a couple weeks before my 24th birthday and we will be married a couple weeks before my 29th bday!
18....we met my freshman year in college and will be getting married when I'm 26.
We were both 20 when we met...but we were friends in college, so that's why it was so long...but I know PLENTY of friends who have met and married before us who were 30 or older...don't let that get to you!!!! you are young...so concentrate on meeting someone who will can share your life with...not someone who will make you miserable...
I met my fiance when I was one week away from turning 33. I can't tell you how happy I am with him. There is someone out there -- don't ever settle and don't ever allow yourself to get discouraged!
I met my FI when I was 28 and he was 39. At our wedding, we'll be 30 and 40.
Before FI I was with my college boyfriend from age 20 to 28. After we split, I was sure I had wasted the best years of my life and would never find anyone in time to have a family by age 35. After all, I had just been in an 8 year relationship that got me nowhere near marriage!
And, that same year, into my life walked my FI. There will be someone, your FI or someone else. Just be sure you're doing the right thing.
Please don't ever think "it's too late" to find your perfect match! From 19 until 29 I was with my first love, engaged to my rebound at 30, proposed to on my 32nd by my daughter's father---but knew in my heart none of them were right for me. I stayed single from age 35 until 37 when I met my future husband. Our wedding is planned for three months before I turn 40 (although we secretly eloped in January) and I wouldn't have it any other way. I may not have done it 'textbook' like the rest of my family (my mom, and both sisters married their high school sweethearts by 23 yo) but it was what worked for me. I was never in any rush to get married and so happy I wasn't or I may have missed out on my 'THE ONE'!!! Good luck and remember to follow your heart, not your age schedule.
We met when I was 21 and he was 22. I don't think age has to do with it at all though....whether 15 or 50 ;)
It's so easy to feel hopeless right now, but when you least expect you will find someone. Just don't give up on it, or pass up on opportunities.
As for you ?, we met when I was 19 and he was 24, we didn't start dating until I was 22 and he was 27. And just after a bad break-up when I was convinced I wasn't going to find someone for a long time, so life definitely gives you nice surprises.
Keep hopeful and no matter what don't settle and have fun in the meantime, life's too short.
In the area I live in (Boston, MA) almost everyone is 30 or older before getting married. I am freakishly young at 27! My fiance was 31 when we met, and i'd say 2/3 of his friends are still looking for their match. 30 is NOT old, you should definitely take whatever time you need to get what you really want out of a relationship. Use this time to become a more interesting person if it doesn't work out with your finace!
Okay, while my story may not help you (we met when we were 21 while on a study abroad tour - we're both 33 & marrying in June), let me just say that we're one of the LAST in our groups of friends to be married...most of THEM met/started dating when they were in their late twenties, early thirties & all but two friends were married & having kids before us. My favorite wife our FI's friend didn't meet FI's friend until she was 29 (just before her 30th b-day) & they married 3 years ago (when she was 32)...they're trying to get pregnant with their first baby & she's turning 36. Another of FI's friends (this time the best man at our wedding) married at 21, divorced at 26, & with a little help from his friends (me & one of my BMs) is dating a MARVELOUS woman in her 30s (we're hoping they REALLY hit it off!). So you're not alone, in dating in your 30s, nor will you be alone while you date - your friends will help you by hooking you up with great guys (at least that what my BM is doing for her friend with the BEST man at our wedding...)!
Omg, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Please do not feel that there is no hope in meeting someone new after you've turned 30. I do hope that things work out for you and your fiance but please don't hold on just because you are afraid you won't find someone else. There are still so many people in their thirties who are searching for a lifetime partner. You wouldn't be the only one. My cousin met her fiance when she was 31. They're getting married next year. Also, my colleague met her husband when she was 38 and he was 42. He was a divorcee and has kids, but he's such a good guy and she's very happy. I think love can be found at any age. Good luck girl! All the best to you!
my cousin was 31 when she met my other cousin on the other side of my family who was 35 i just attended their wedding sept 2009 they were together for a year and half before getting married... there def hope and they were the happiest couple i have seen getting married ever, they couldnt stop smiling
I met my fiance when I was 33 and will be 38 when we marry. Your age doesn't matter in the scheme of things. What matters is marrying the wrong person. Good luck!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 33 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 21 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| mypinkshoes | 18 |
| rebwana | 18 |
| LammChop | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| kat2014 | 15 |
| s.renea9 | 15 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
