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I was reading a fellow Bee's post about being 20-something and getting married and getting the whole 'you'll be missing out'/'regret that later' feedback.
It got me thinking, if some would assume getting hitched in your mid-twenties is too soon.... at what age are most women first getting married?
I got engaged at 26 and will be married at 27. I've been with my FI since I was 19 and we've been living like a married couple for the past 3 years. I don't feel like I've been "missing out" on anything.
I'll be 23, almost 24, which makes me the oldest out of any female in my family to get married. Between my sister and my cousins, most got married somewhere between 19-21.
I was 26. i think it all depends on how you perceive life and what you want out of it.
I don't feel like I miss out on anything. I think being married is one of the best journey's in life and having found that someone you love and will spend your time with.
It depends on the person. I will be 29, which some think is "old". Where I am from I am practically an old maid already. I myself could have never gotten married before 27. I just wasn't in the right state of mind.
I was 25, and DH was 26. Definitely didn't feel like I was missing out on anything!
I was 34 when I got married to my husband legally. I was 35 for our family/religious ceremony though! :D
I'll be 33. I needed my 20s to travel, live abroad, get my masters, learn who i am, date a lot of the wrong guys, etc. so it worked out the way it should have for me and what i need.
First marriage and I will be 29. Woot! I ALMOST got married at 19, but that would have ended in divorce because we were both immature although we swore to everyone we were so mature for our age. (I think that comes standard in most teens/early 20's handbook to life)
Check out the divorce rate for couples under 25. I think that's why everyone tries to tell them to wait since they have the highest numbers out of any age group.
@Ms. Purple: I'm with you on this one! Couldn't have said it better myself!
I'll be 24 when I marry my FH this Saturday, FH 23, and when we have our formal wedding with full guest list next Jan. 25/24. After 4 years of us time, we can't wait to get started on a big family... how is this missing out?! :)
I will be 21 on our wedding day which is FRIDAY! FH will be 22.
I have ALWAYS wanted to get married young, so this has worked out perfectly :)
I'll will turn 27 three weeks before we get married. Maybe that's old or young, I don't know, but it's just right for me. I've been able to do everything that I wanted including studying abroad, graduating college, Peace Corps, working and traveling, and now I'm working toward my PhD.
@MissBoston: it really is such a person-to-person thing!
I really can't see how someone could argue you're missing out either way... whether you're 20 or 45. Everyone has such a unique situation... which is why for the life of me I can't understand some of the comments brides, young or old, get!
I got engaged two weeks after my 26th, and married a month after my 27th. :)
It ended up being for perfect timing for DH and I... but, if you had asked me when I was young how old I would be when I married, I would've said at a minimum 30. I wanted to get a lot of schooling done and a steady career before I wanted to settled down. It worked out that I have a pretty good job right now and that I have DH supporting me through law school, I don't know how I would've survived without him.
@Miss Tattoo: I find it fascinating the divorce rate is higher for 20-24 than under 20. how is that possible?
I was 21, he was 22. We're both pretty close to our birthdays, though, so I guess it's closer to 22/23. When I was on the Unmentionable Site, there were bitter 40-somethings telling me I would regret it and that I was missing out on my youth. Missing out on what, exactly? Getting stupid drunk in a bar or at a party and sleeping around? No thanks.
I was 20 the first time, and it was the WORST mistake of my life.
FI and I will will both be 25 when we get married in October. I think 25 is about the average.
I don't think I've missed/going to miss out on anything for getting married at this age. FI and I have been together since we were 19 so we've become who we are today, together. I'd like to know what exactly the chickie who made the comments to the other bee thought we would be missing out on. There is nothing that single people can do that married people can't, except for sleep around!
I'll be 22 but only twelve days shy of 23. My fiance will be 23 a little over a month before the wedding.
@Mrs Grape: "Missing out on what, exactly? Getting stupid drunk in a bar or at a party and sleeping around? No thanks."
THIS. I'll be 24 and FH will be 31. as an agoraphobic hermit, I don't think I'll be missing out on much lol.
The first time I got married, I was only 23. Although that marriage didn't work out, I don't feel as though I missed out on anything. I don't think at 23 I was mature enough to make informed life-long decisions, because I made a poor choice in husbands. But that being said, I don't regret it, because that marriage helped make me the person I am today.
31 for me. I do not think there is a guideline... I think that you do what is right for you.
I'll be 25, but we've been engaged forever, we knew pretty early that we'd found our 'one'. We've just been waiting to 'grow into it' emotionally and financially (mostly finanically, weddings are expensive.).
I was one month short of 21- in 1977. Looking back, we were lucky we made it. Those years were almost like growing up together; some very good and some rough patches because we didn't understand compromise or sacrifice yet. It really depends on the couple and what your maturity level is, as well as what your expectations are. Marriage is one thing, personal goals such as career and creative endeavors are another- and having kids brings that to a whole new level. There is a lot to grow into.
There are a lot of great stats on this if you Google and would prefer a more scientific poll. Where I live, Boston/New England, the average age is 26/27. I was 27.
First time - 18 (almost 19)
Second time - 39
Third time - one day before my 5oth birthday!
This is such a personal decision. In all honesty, I had 2 friends who got married under 25 and are now divorced, two of the marriages barely made it past their first anniversary. I only have one other friend who married before 25 and she is happily married so, in my immediate experience, that's a 75% failure rate.
I was 27 and feel I would not have been ready to be married sooner but I'm one of those forever in school Phders. I had a serious relationship in college and, looking back, am glad we split up before getting married because I really feel like I am a different person now then I was 5 years ago. Being single is not about sleeping around but about putting yourself first in all life decisions and kissing frogs until you find your prince. Some people like the freedom, others want to be part of a couple, it's a personal decision and I don't think others should tell you when the right time is for you to marry.
I'll be married 10 years this upcoming September and was one of the first in my group to be married (at 26). I honestly thought I would be one of that last. I still have a good number of girlfriends who are in their mid 30's and not married. I don't think I married too young. I thought it was a good age. I had our son at 30 and that's the regret I have...not having him a few years earlier since I worry about being an older mom when he's older. :( But, then again, my husband and I had 7 years together (including before we were married) to do everything we wanted and now feel settled in just focusing on our son. So, I guess I can't have that regret.
I was 23 and DH was 24! Perfect ages for us, IMO.
@MissBoston: I think a key thing is that those stats don't break down the current age of people. So, the people who got married before age 20 back when that was the norm and who are still in the social group where divorce is way less acceptable would likely still be married, even though they would have divorced (or not gotten married in the first place) had they grown up in our generation. Getting married under age 20 is a rare thing these days, which likely skews the data towards the older generations who married young and refused divorce.
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