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Many of my friends are announcing pregnancies on Facebook, so babies have been on my mind lately! I'm wondering what you all feel will be the right age for you to begin having kids. I am currently 23 and SO is 25, so we would ideally like to start having kids in about five years. We feel like this gives us enough time to get more financially stable, have some "us" time, and mature/grow both as individuals and as a unit together.
What about the rest of you?
I would like to wait around a year or two so maybe like 24-25
I had my first child at 29 and my DH and I are TTC now for another one. I'm 32 now and he is 42. I think that 29 was perfect for me, I had my degrees and my house and just got a permanent contract at work.
@MapleBecky: That's what we are thinking would work well for us. We are both teachers, so obviously we don't have a ton of money to spare at this point in our lives and a few more years of work would help tremendously. We would also both like to have our master's degrees before we have kids if at all possible.
I voted "31-35," although we'll be fostering or adopting (health issues mean having a kid, in the off-chance I could conceive and carry to term, very unwise). We want to have a chunk of our student loans paid off and own a house before we move forward with the kid thing.
@Mrs Grape: Hey, adopting is the same as having your own biologically in my mind. :) They are just as much your children.
We're both 25 and we have NO desire to have a kid right now. I've always said I'd wait till I'm 35 but FI feels like 30 is a better age so I think we'll probably go with that. I anticpiate having some issues conceiving so we'll probably start the "prep work" around 28.
It's so crazy to see all of these people my age with kids. Two of my closest friends have children already and it's just not something that I want right now. I love the freedom of doing what I want to do, when I want to do it and I'm not ready to give that up yet.
@UpstateCait: I totally agree. One of my best friends just turned 22 and just called me a few days ago to tell me she is expecting. All she has ever wanted is to be a stay-at-home mom and her SO is in his late twenties and has a career, so they can afford it and it will be great for them. No judgement on her, but I would have been so panicked if I was pregnant so young. haha.
I'm about to turn 25 and DH is about to turn 28 and we plan on waiting about 3-4 years to have kids. I am shocked by how many people my age or younger that are having kids!
My sister and I do not have a relationship because she's seriously crazy (I'm not exaggerating, unfortunately.) She is 30 and she and her husband are having their SEVENTH child this summer! Ahhhh!
I voted 22-25, because I was 'ready' to have kids since I was about 24. But, when we were 24, we were not financially stable. Now we are 27, so DH and I are planning to TTC next year.
FI and I agreed we will start TTC in 3 years. I will be 25 and he will be 24. I would like to start as soon as we get married, but he's really not ready for children yet. My mother was 26 when she had me.
We're both 26. We're not ready now. We'll do it.......... when we're ready? I kind of think that somewhere around 29-31 would be ideal but who knows. My brother and his wife are TTC so who knows... maybe once they have a baby we'll get baby fever? Or we'll get so scared we swear off kids all together? Could go either way :)
@CorgiTales: Haha it might scare you! The idea of a bazillion kids like my sister had freaks me out, but two or three seems nice to me. :)
My boss says she swore off kids after watching her sister have her two children. I think being around kids makes me want them more someday!
@brideatbeach: yea i'm honestly a little scared about it bc i fear that their kids will be terrors (they can't housebreak their dogs, how are they going to keep kids in line?) which would not bode well for my desire to have them. But... if they're just trying now + the 9 mo... maybe if their baby happens to be good it'll make me want one? lol i dunno. I dont really like kids right now. = NOT ready. LOL.
@CorgiTales: Haha that is really responsible of you to realize, though!
Society pressures us to have kids to be a complete family, so I was actually kind of pleased to see that a few people said in the poll that they don't want kids or aren't ready yet. If you don't want them at all or even at this point in your life, it's going to be ridiculously hard to be a good parent.
Provided he follows along with his due date, I will have just turned 30 when our son arrives :)
I had my first just after I turned 19. Were going to try in 2 or 3 years... so 27 or 28... if we don't make it happen before half way through 29 were going to stop trying and start looking at adoption. =)
I grew up in a different time that you ladies, so I started having my babies at 19, then 21, then 24. I wanted to have my babies young, so I would be able to enjoy my time when I was older.
So far so good. I am no longer married to their father, but I have no regrets, except that I wish I would have met my now husband sooner, so we would have been able to have kids together, but if I would have done that I would not have gotten the kids that I have now, and they are the most wonderful kids ever.
People/relatives used to visit my sister and never want to have kids and then they would visit me and have such a wonderful experience that they would want kids.
No matter when you ladies decide to have your kids (or not), it will be the right time for you. Just don't let anyone; friends or family, pressure you into having them, until you know the time is right for you.
And if you are scared of having children, usually it is totally different when you have your own. I know that before I had my children, I would literally get sick when I was around other peoples kids. When I had my own that all changed and I couldn't be happier.
I have always wanted to be a younger mom. My mom was 20 when I was born and we are alot closer being closer in age. I don't plan on being THAT young (I am already 22 so I passed that age anyway!) but I want to be around 25 with our first kid. I want to have the energy to run around with them and have enough time after they move out when they are older to still do a lot of the things we want to do but can't do now.
Wow - I guess I'm in the "old camp" here...We got married when I was 30, and have been ttc for 2 months...I am now 31, and REALLY hoping to have our first LO ASAP! We want 2, so hoping we are blessed with both in the next couple of years.
I don't regret being "old." We didn't meet until I was 28. And DH is totally my soulmate. We're also very blessed to be really financially stable, which wouldn't have been the case for either of us when we were in our mid 20s...DH and I both have amazing jobs, and in the event that I want to be a SAHM, we would totally still be comfortable on just his salary...So I just look at it like this was our "meant to be" case...We may get pushed around in our wheelchairs by our kids one day, but we'll be a little better prepared at this stage than we would have been years ago!
@jholler25: My parents got married at 28 and had me at 32. I feel very much like they are still "young parents." I hardly think you are OLD! ;)
I am conflicted because I want to be young and energetic when I have kids, but I also want to have had a great career and financial stability....It is looking like the last is going to happen.
Ideally, I would like to be around 30. I'm 26 now, and while I keep saying I want babies in the future, I honestly have less than no desire to have one at the moment. Here's hoping that wanting a baby hormone/motherly instinct kicks in sometime soon, hah!
@junebug12: That's how I was! My late 20s I was like,"I feel like I should want babies because you're just *supposed* to at this age..." But when I hit 30, BAM! There's truth to the biological clock thing! I started freaking out about how far behind we were because we weren't even engaged! I told DH (BF at the time) "We've got to get our shit together!" And we were engaged a couple of months later, married 8 months after that, and TTC 2 months now. I am SOOOOO hopeful we get pg soon! But you will change when you get older! I think we have a "desperately want a baby" hormone that we start producing at 30:)
When I was 20, I wanted to be a 'young' parent and have kids by 25. Then when I got to 27/28, I really wanted kids by 30.. tick tick. Now I'm almost 32, we just got married and could TTC but now I want to wait another year, and am actually glad I havent had kids yet. Forget the young parent thing, I still feel great, and I want to do a bit more traveling before being tied down and not being able to just pick up and go for a few years.
Idk, I'm very finicky about the idea of having children. When I was a child and teenager, I dreamed of the day I'd become a mother. I loved babies and kids, I babysat, I was very responsible and I enjoyed doing tasks like diaper changing, feeding, giving baths etc. I'd get so excited if I knew babies or small children would be around for me to take care of. I played with baby dolls until I was 13! I picked out names for kids, everything. There was no question I wanted to be a mother.
Then, reality hit. I was granted temporary custody of my two young brothers when I was 18. I was a full-time, single parent to them for six months. The experience completely shattered the state of my mental health. Not only did I see what it was like to be a full-time parent, I also became wise to the realities of childbirth and pregnancy. I studied it more and found out things I didn't know. These things terrified me.
FI says he maybe wants one when he's 40 and I'm 35. I really don't want to wait until after 35 to have a child (if I'm going to), though, because of the heightened risk of birth defects. I'm only 21 now, so maybe I will be able to get over my fears by then, but idk. I have a severe blood phobia. I am terrified of the thought of blood tests, delivering afterbirth, tearing, bleeding for weeks after giving birth, etc. My mom says I will NEVER be able to have a baby because of that =[
Sometimes I get around kids, especially my little nephew, and it warms my heart. Like, today at the pool I was teaching him how to swim and I was just so in love. When I see baby clothes in the stores, I feel a little tingle in my heart. But, when I think about all of the other elements of having a child, I feel nauseated.
we will start TTC around age 28-29 (I am 26 now). Hopefully we are blessed with our first born at age 29. DH would be 34. Every once in a while I freak out and think we should not wait but I am working full time in my desired career field plus getting my masters. We are financially and emotionally ready but I want to finish my MBA fist.
I am 32 and DH is 34. If I get pregnant this year I will be 33 and DH will be 35 when LO gets here.
Do I wish we were younger, yeah. But we didn't meet until my late 20's and his early 30's. I gladly take being slightly older than I pictured to be with the man I know is the father I want for my children.
@panterapeach: Tru dat, panterapeach;) Lol- jk...I feel the exact same way! I was engaged to someone earlier in my 20s, and dated another guy for 3 years in my mid to late 20s...I'd take DH and a late start over getting KU by the other ones ANY DAY! They weren't right, I was too young to know it, and DH is way better than I ever thought I deserved:)
Im almost 22 now, and we want to wait until Im 25/26 before having kids. As much as I like the idea of having kids now, I know that it is better for us to wait until we are more financially secure, had some growing up time, and also have some time for just "us".
According to my ideal plan, get marry at 26, have kid at 28 or latest 30. I'm behind on that plan, so new plan is have kid before 35 (maybe at 34 earliest).
Well I'll be 23 in september, and my son will be 2 then. So I was 21 when I had him. Preferably I would have waited until I was about 25, but that's just not the way it happened. I love being energetic enough to keep up to him, but I don't think that's age as much as a state of mind.
FI and I will both be 25 when we get married, and he's just starting law school this year. We always wanted to wait a few years, and right now, we're planning on at least three so that he'll be out of school and working before we starting thinking about a family. So I'll be 28/29 by then, which seems like a pretty good age to be starting a family.
I'm 26 now and I have one that's 7 and 1 on the way.... we want 3 or 4 total & I want to be done having kiddos before age 35 (ideally)
DH and I are 29 and we had our daughter when we were 24 but I was totally ready for it and love her more and more each day....we got pregnant but unfortunately miscarried in March so we are back to TTC. I would also like to have 2 more and be done before 35.
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