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Recently, my fiance and I have been going through the house-buying process, and I've realized i'm not comfortable with people knowing the details of how much the place is costing. My parents have been involved in the process, so they are aware of the price. Similarily, my mom is always talking to my grandparents and aunt about it, so they know all the details too.
Even with that though- I'm not totally comfortable with everyone thinking "Oh you bought a place for THAT much!! Your mortgage is HOW much?". I specifically asked my mom to please keep the price quiet when talking to other people outside of my immediate family.
How many people did you tell this info to? I've had a few friends ask me to show them pictures of the place online, and i've made up an excuse not to since I didn't want them seeing the price of the listing lol!
My dad literally asked us how much our house cost and DH was not really happy about it. I agree that just family should really know.
I think it's very personal and I really don't think that I'll share any price info with people other than our parents. This will be hard seeing as our friends tend to be very nosy people!
Another way that you can look at it is that you guys have worked hard to get into a place that you love and so you shouldn't be ashamed if it is considered "expensive" by other people. As far as sharing your mortgage info, I'd refrain from saying anything about that - what matters is that you guys are happy/comfortable with those costs, not what other people think :)
I hate anyone knowing. It's right up there with, how much do you make. I just wasn't raised in a house where it's acceptable to ask. but i work with a girl who has found a website that's public record and she can find out how much your house was and who is on the deed. lovely.. ugh
This is interesting. We are starting to look into buying now, and where we are moving (San Fran/Bay Area) the prices are heart-attack-inducing higher than where I grew up/most of my family and friends are - Texas. So they keep saying offhand comments about how easy it is to find a home, how afffordable, and I have to keep reminding them that a 2-bedroom fixer upper single bedroom home in Berkeley, CA costs roughly half a million dollars. I almost feel attacked for not having bought yet, becaus so many people where I grew up were able to buy for a really low price - in the mid-$100,00s or slightly higher. So, I almost feel the need to overshare so that they understand why we won't be getting a 4-bedroom McMansion!
It totally doesn't matter to me, really. I mean, if they really want to know that bad they can look it up on redfin!
It doesn't bug me that much. If people act like we are entitled, I just tell them that the things we have came at a price that I wish I didn't pay. I don't go advertising what our house costs but I will tell people that ask. Plus the information from county clerks is now available online in most counties.
I would find it very rude if someone who is not family or a close friend flat out asks us how much our place cost.
*EDIT* Just wanted to add that I also find it very rude if someone asks how much my ring costs...Like PP said, if they want to know the cost of my home just look it up, but asking me is rude.
this is a public record on your local property appraisers website. All you need is the address and/or the last name of the owner.
I think its impolite to ask, but its not a big secret.
@crayfish: I grew up/live in the Bay Area so I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! My grandparents paid $30k cash for their home over 40 years ago and my grandpa is one of those "pay cash for everything" post-depression babies, so he's been getting on us about how we shouldn't spend so much --- but it is IMPOSSIBLE in the bay area. Really.
@indyJEEP: I KNOW! It's absolutely insane. How on earth are you not supposed to spend so much? Live in a stuio hovel in the worst neighborhood of Oakland? Commute 3 hours from the inland part of CA? Just not possible. The home prices are something that is not even conceivable to most of the people I grew up around. Luckily, my husband and I have good jobs, but I think it's insane that over 60% of people in the Bay Area make in the top 10% of wages nationally, and only roughly 28% qualify for home ownership. How does it even get to that point?!
i dont think the cost of a house is any big secret these days - they can google real estate in your area to get an ballpark idea
whats annoying is when people start asking specifics because i think its strange to ask someone about their income/how they afford things
Ditto at what caszos said. If people really want to know then they can look it up at their property appraiser's website. I have done that actually when I get curious about other people, but I would never outright ask someone. That is just as rude as asking about someone's income. But if someone asked me I would probably just tell them since I know the could find the info in the public record.
There was a ton of people who asked me how much I bought my house for and how I could afford it. It was super annoying. I'm pretty young though, I bought my house when I was 18 so of course all my friends were like what? How did you buy that? I am open with the price I bought it for but not as open with how I am able to pay for it and how much my mortgage is. :)
i agree that people shouldn't be asking you directly, but the selling price of your home is public information that's easy to google.
I don't think this would bother me. I would be proud if the price was low, but in some areas high price can't be avoided.
I know that people can go look it up online if they really wanted to get an idea, but then I wouldn't know that they know hehe.
Indyjeep & Crayfish: i'm in the same position, as far is living in a very expensive market. The place we've made an offer on is a 2 bedroom, 975sqft condo and it is costing us well over half a million (
). For that reason, most (young) people that we know just rent if they want to live in the city, or buy a small house outside of the city. I guess I just don't want people thinking we have rich parents who are buying it for us or that we're stupid with money and spending WAY more than we can afford. The truth is, we both lived at home and saved saved saved during college, etc, so we could have a good sized downpayment. Most people aren't aware of that, so i'd kind rather just avoid the specifics all together!
@crayfish: I know, it's insane! The distribution of wealth here is truly amazing. I'd love to live in Orinda some day - great schools, fantastic homes :) have you been there? I grew up nearby, but it seems like a completely different planet. Grrr.. rent in a decent place can cost more than a mortgage for a 5 bedroom home on an acre of property in some other state! Another sad thing is that the public education here is so awful when compared with the cost of living - kids who move to other states often have to 'stay behind' a grade in order to 'catch up' with the educational standards in other states. So sad.
@TealaB: I completely understand what you mean. If anyone criticizes you for your choices, I'd definitely own the moment and let them know that you guys have been saving for a long time, this is what you want, and yes you can comfortably afford it. You might phrase it more politely, but there comes a point where people need to stop evaluating others accomplishments/choices and mind their own beeswax :)
I've never had anyone ask,I'd laugh in their face if they did, but if I know their intentions (bad) I don't tell. My family asking doesn't bother me. It didn't cost a lot, so I liked telling family members(the good intention ones) how much I paid. I liked having them know even though I was a 1st timer, I got a good deal AND a good school system.
I know they can go look it up also, so...yeah, I try not to think about that.lol.
Unless they're paying the taxes or making the mortgage (and the house is paid for, so that isn't possible), it isn't anyone's business.
While I agree that it's bad etiquette to come out and ask someone re: how much they paid for their house, that stuff is public knowledge. If someone knows your address, they can easily look up the selling price online. Heck, I met a random guy at the local wine shop who happens to live on my street and he quoted the exact price I paid for my house just out of the blue. C'est la vie!
I'm fairly open about it. Real estate is ridiculously expensive here, so I think it's kind of a "misery loves company" kind of thing. My dad was a real estate agent growing up too, so talking about buying/selling property is common dinner table conversation.
DH's family lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I think it's funny to tell them how much our condo was and watch their jaws drop.
I am pretty transparent about it -- it could have something to do with the fact that our house was purchased for less than appraised market value, or that I just do not see it as a big secret (like Cazos pointed out).
Doesn't mean I don't consider it rude to ask, but I am still transparent about it.
Well, there is always Zillow. So, uh, you can't really be THAT hush hush if you give someone your address. I've had close friends ask me because they were considering homes in the same price range (and we make about the same salary) so we've discussed it in depth. It's just not some big secret anymore--you can look up EXACTLY what we paid for it. Sometimes i get older folks scoff and say things like how we're so young to live in such a nice subdivision and how in the world can we afford to live there. I use the opportunity to snub them. They started it!
I don't go around blurting out the price of our house to our friends/family, but if they ask, I will tell them. My nosiest friend's mom is a realtor so if she really wanted to find out she could haha. I think people are just interested because we were quite young when we bought our first place, and we've already sold it and bought another place so they're probably just curious. Plus a lot of our friends are renting and in the process of buying a home so they're interested in seeing how much houses are going for. Anyway, doesn't bother me to talk about it! FI is a bit more reserved though.
I get that it's public info, but I would still think it was weird if someone checked what we paid. Sure they'll have a general idea based on where we live, size of house, etc, but it's just not polite to ask. I end up feeling self conscious because our house is expensive. It's like I feel bad that we can afford it. I agree that's it's almost like asking what your salary is.
@ejs4y8: I do think it's different when someone is actively looking in the same area and already knows the typically range...
I'm not at all a secretive person. If someone was asking for a reason or just for curiosity's sake I'd tell them no problem. Especially because if I said no I know they could just go look it up online.
I was surprised at how many people asked us how much we paid for our house... like coworkers and everything!!! I would think it's kind of rude, and I always answered because I didn't want to act offended that they asked, but I couldn't believe they asked.. I always thought asking how much people paid for big ticket items was a no-no, maybe just how I was raised.
Some people ask because they are nosey. One friend asked and I gave her the price range in houses for the area. She was just being nosey. People even hint around about how much FH makes a year. I let them know that FH does not like to tell people. He didn't tell his parents how much he makes. (The only people that know are the bank that has our mortgage and me).
I agree that it is different for people that are house hunting to ask. I wouldn't mind telling them. We are the youngest people in the neighborhood and alot of people wonder how we got here.
Haha, our local paper publishes the names and salaries of government employees that make over a certain salary, so DH and I have already been called out about that. I guess after that it's not too much of a big deal just to tell ALL your business.
We're completely open about it. We can't beleive we got such a nice home for such an awesome deal
I think we will be open about it - we are open about how much we pay in rent so I dont see us being any different about it
When we first bought our house, tons of people asked us how much it cost and what our monthly mortgage was and I was really put off by it. That was about a year and a half ago, so I think I'm a little more used to it now. Knowing that we got a pretty good deal helps me be a little more open to those questions, too.
After we closed on the house and moved in, we ended up buying quite a bit of furniture. We moved from a one bedroom (teeny, tiny) apartment to a 3 bedroom house with a family room, living room, dining room, etc, so we needed quite a few things. I was the only one home when our furniture was delivered and the delivery dude kept asking, "So how much did this place set you back?" and "What does that cost you a month?" I thought that was super rude...but it was probably because he was close in age to FI and I and was just wondering if he could swing it?
Since I've moved to Sweden, I've been more open with people asking, although not many people have asked. They publicize the sale price here, along with the buyers and sellers name and address of the home~! As soon as the house is registered under the new owners, the local paper will publish it. It's crazy!
As for people back home asking how much we paid, I only got one real inquiry and I avoided the question because this particular friend is one that likes to compare and will likely tell everyone she knows. The houses here are much cheaper compared to my hometown and I know some people like to "talk" without even realizing the differences in location and what's truly comparable!
As for my close friends and family, they never had to ask because I told them - they helped me with the elimination process.
We told our parents (and they probably told other family members) but we didn't have any friends who came right out an ask. HOWEVER, I had a lot of friends ask for the address while we were waiting to close and they all looked it up online to find out the selling price.
Since its public record I guess it doesn't bother me much. It's not something I would just offer up to people though.
DH feels very uncomfortable sharing any sort of financial information (salary, bonus, how much we pay in rent, etc), so I doubt he'd be comfortable with us sharing how much our home cost (if we ever end up buying). My parents don't even know exactly how much rent we pay now, nor do they know how much DH makes.
I don’t mind sharing with people because I guess I assume that most people who are asking are asking for the same reason I ask people: we’re hoping to move from our condo to a house next year and if people we know move into neighborhoods we like, and buy homes that have the features we would be looking for, it’s nice to get an idea of what people are paying. I know you can find sale price info online, but sometimes its nice to hear some “inside” info.
Its weird, I don’t mind sharing info on how much our condo cost, but I *hate* (and usually refuse) to share info on our income/salaries.
we're pretty open about how much our house costs. we've had family ask or ask through our parents and that is fine with us. we've had friends ask also. i think most people ask to keep up to date with how much real estate costs. in my family or group of friends, we also discuss mortgage rates and which are better, etc.
as for how much we mortgaged or our salaries, we've talked to our parents/siblings about that, but thats about it. and we don't really get asked that by other family or friends too much.
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